there'll come a day when we'd smile fondly at the hardships we're currently facing.
there'll come a day when we'd completely heal from whatever gave us pain.
there'll come a day when we don't have to feel like crying.
but 'til then, we just have to feel every single emotion and endure the pouring rain.
but 'til then, we just have to accept we're not okay.
because **** it, that coming day is not today.
why can't it be today?
to better days, whenever they may be.
Why settle with flaws?
Perfection almost killed me.
I don’t like that path.
tw // anorexia, self-harm
The nostalgia's been annihilating.
My heart hasn't stopped longing, my chest palpitating,
upon coming across old songs and movies
which remind me of good times of the past.
But in a way, I kind of understand.
I've always been scared of the future—
for I never see myself in them.
you wanted to find
Maybe that was why
breaking my heart.
When you broke it,
but when i said
‘living on the edge,’
this was never
what i meant.
what i meant was real party all night
without parents’ permission;
not a pity party at night
with my self-destructing notions.
what i meant was real rollercoasters,
or go on life adventures;
not roller coasters
of all my life’s emotions.
what i meant was swim in the ocean,
or face my darkest fear.
not an ocean of my
darkest fears face me.
but i when i said
put ‘happy’ and ‘die’ together,
i meant to actually ‘die happy’
not to be ‘happy dying.’
how is it
condemnable when we
only choose to
Post-Pride Week blues.
thoughts that this mind creates
At night where these thoughts
Just doesn’t seem to stop.
vibe that this mind brings
At night where the melancholy
appears from out of nowhere.
experiences that this mind relives
At night where secrets
Are out in the open.
Deafening silence that this mind hears
At night where your own heartbeat
seems to be the only sound.
thinking that this mind undergoes
At night where these memories
Are suddenly brought up.
body that this mind controls
At night where the eyes
should be closed.
words that this mind forms
At night where drunken sentences
Are actually sober thoughts.
state that this mind goes through
At night where darkness and
silence slowly kills your soul.
Shut up, thoughts. I am trying to sleep.