You’re back
You’re back and it’s strange
I’m so happy but so calm
I’m so content but also anxious
Will you stay?
Will you please-

Your words sing to me
Your laughter ignites something within me
I feel light
I feel safe
I feel at home with you

You’re here
You’re here and it’s strange
I’m so happy but so calm
I’m so content but also anxious
Will you stay?
Please, will you love me?
Really?

You don’t care enough to fight for me
I care so much that I don’t fight for myself

You say you have to sort yourself out
That you don’t want a relationship with me
But you still want me around?

I hope you sort yourself out
I hope you realise you want me when it’s too late to have me
I hope that you realise you love me when I love myself so much that I don’t need your attention

You’re a young boy
You have a heart of gold but your laziness over time got old
Youre going through a lot and so I am
We need time to find ourselves
I just hope that I also find myself away from the phone when I’m sad and alone

Every first message, every “I miss you” makes me feel more and more desperate and pathetic for a love and acceptance that I was never given

It’s not your fault that I lack love
Why should he have to fill a hole he never dug?

I need to do that for me
I need to do the filling on my own

So that I can be proud of myself and love myself

I’ve been filling my hole for a while why should I hand the shovel over for fives minutes?
Why should I give away sole credit for my resilience?

I’m not a project
Why am so palming off to-do lists to whoever gives me love

I didn’t need love then
I don’t need love now
I’m learning to love myself and until then I’ll share that with who deserves to be around

Tell me why
The children of Africa are brung up
Only when I try to scream for help

Tell me why
An echoe implodes inside my mind
Nothing is wrong, its all a show

Like white draped over corpses
Your comparisons muffle my cries

A broken leg is still a broken leg
After a thousand broken necks

So

Depression is still depression
After a couple of sadistic ******

Preparing dinner
Tying a knot
Swallowing medicine
Running a bath
Driving a car

Tools to live with
Tools to take life with
I want to block out the difference

Flax blades
Howling birds
The tears of strangled mountains

Flip a coin
The land of the long white cloud
A sun so bright
The shadows are buried
7 feet below
Alongside those whose eyes
Were convinced
The coin only flipped one side

Chest full to the brim
Waterfalls spill over

You pick up the piece
There falls another

While bending to help
I see scissors on my lover
Laid in his hands
The blood provides cover

You cut out a piece
There falls another

With tired eyes
I look to you and say
"Thanks for putting me back together".