I'm being strangled by my bed
each fold so uncomfortable
wanting this restless night to end

I can feel all the hairs on my head knotting
as I try to claw my way to sleep
I can hear my brush plotting
from my bathroom sink

Each muscle cries out in irritation
the day's work holds it's grip
I sigh in fits of frustration
if only sleep I could skip

nights are longer for a nervous soul
counting hours until we wake
anxiety takes it's toll

My dog wants to sleep
but here I am awake
I slowly type
so that no sound I'll make
will wake
the pup

There goes my Ramen
oh
no.
there it goes
it drops to the ground
on a fresh patch of snows

There goes my Ramen
oh
no
I see it start to sizzle
tears roll down my eyes
and slowly start to drizzle

It wasn't the Ramen I was upset about
it was life!
it just added to the things that I could doubt
about myself, and thats what made me shout:
***** YOU RAMEN
I JUST WANTED TO EAT YOU
AND NOW ID LIKE TO EAT YOU
ABOUT AS MUCH AS A PILE OF POO
'CUZ NOW YOU LAY ON THE GROUND IN A PILE OF SNOW STEW

Ally looked at me and began to laugh
"Oh Maura take a chill pill or go take a bath.
you need to calm down and really relax
If stress got you down I just want you to know
people cut off their ear because of stress like Van Gogh
so if the stress is too much you should really just go
and get out of here, go home and lay low"

In this universe:
remember what's down is up;
and what's up is down.

what a huge mess
I'm caught up in tangles
all because I must confess
your love has got me strangled

I think
I want
to subtweet you,
you're a
*****
*****
*****
*****
doodily-doo

The hat rule is dumb.
I will wear a ******* hat
If my hair looks bad!

Don't go past the gate
that's dangerous place
It'll make you late
just you wait

told me
one more wouldn't hurt
told me
one more bite of dessert

it's nothing but a gate
just a short cut home
don't wanna be late
run past that gate

take the shortcut couple more times
say we'll pay for our crimes
but that's only sometimes

Walk on that line
private property's just a sign
one more time
one more drop
it won't make your heart stop

Open the gate be free
God said not to touch the tree
but would it be so bad to be able to see?
who I am on the inside? Who is me?

Broken gate, can't undo the past
should have trusted the sign
and never gone passed

Sunday's are gloomy
I don't want to leave my bed
knowing Monday's come

The odds of existence
of being precisely who you are  
are slim

In fact, the odds are almost zero
but here you are
here you exist

so remember the next time
the odds are against you
that you've already beaten
the slimmest odds in the universe
before.

Dig for me down deep
the sand tumbles in; it will seep

I want you to find me
I'm calling for you
I promise I'm trying
I'm sorry I'm blue

pull me up
reach for my hand
I'm sinking
there's just too much sand

I dug a hole and accidently fell in
I wish I could get out myself
but I hardly know where to begin

I want to be the hero of my story
but sometimes I need help too
I don't want you to worry
I just don't want to burden you

People have tried and failed
I felt their hand
I grasped it
but I slipped and they bailed

I dug a hole and accidently fell in
I wish I could get out myself
but I hardly know where to begin

I am not just someone's wife
I am not just someone's daughter
I am my own light
and I give myself the power

when you tell me what happened
my body fills with ice
the whole world freezes
dust falls like snow around the room swirling in slow motion
other people seem warm and happy indulging in an ignorant bliss
but the same room feels bitter cold
the ice cracks and my voice breaks
my eyes fills with hot tears
streaming down my face to melt my frozen mouth
the dam breaks as I gasp for air and begin to cry
I blink a few times and hang up the phone
the room suddenly feels too hot
and I begin to feel dizzy as time rapidly picks up

Waste that's stuck in the ground
will be here for hundreds of years
even if the earth was left alone to heal
our friendship is like that
waste build up like plastic tears
even if it was recycled
it would still be here

I can forgive you
but I cannot forget
Our friendship will never work right
like a thrown-out-broken cassette

My pain built up like trash
piles high above the ground
too high to try and hide away and stash
it stinks
it rots
it ruined the green
words were said
that were far too mean
somethings cannot be fixed
some mistakes you can never redeem

like plastic the pain is here to stay
the pollution of your toxic words
have made our friendship grey

You see I'm always prepared
I'm always decided
I always know what to do
except for the fact
that I really don't know
how I feel about you.

Stay on the path
the sign reads
but what's around the bend?

Dare to be different
the poster reads
but what's original anyway?

I want this so bad
winning would be nice this time
please let this work out

Depression is like waves
it comes and goes
it is never a friend
it is only a foe

Sometimes the waves are rough
and the wind blows too strong
and I am the allege
that clings to the ground

It never really goes completely away
but for now with you I'm okay
so please just sit with me a while and stay
please just sit with me a while and stay.

I grew up outside with the sun on my face
not indoors to the glow of a screen

I grew up acting and playing pretend  
not inside watching actors on a screen

I grew up going on walks with my friends and my dog
not alone texting friends through a screen

I grew up empowered by the skills I learned through play
not lost and behind because I stayed inside all day

Somedays I can't decide
I want to be absolutely everything.

Other days I can't decide
because I want to be absolutely nothing.

ugh. life is hard work.