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  Apr 2017 xmelancholix
blue mercury
fractured limbs/fragile lugs/soft-skinned dreams/sweet slow dances

loving you is like spilling gold out of my veins, like rose hips soft and shivering under warm fingertips. being yours is you being mine, but always reaching for you to be more.

in my stomach are glistening oceans, and my swallowed pride the size of vicodin pills. a small town girl's high on love and laying in her bed.

lilting laughter/lovely lights/revival of language & direction/return of lucid daydreams

you are my first thought when i wake, and my last when i fall asleep. i'm so very in love with you. the more days i spend being your girl, the more i want to be with you.

i always want to be where you are. my head on your shoulder, you rest your head on top of mine. we're holding hands, and it's like we fold into each other like russian dolls.

comfortable skin/crushed sapphire/lovers blessed/lush bones
i'm so in love
xmelancholix Apr 2017
she said she missed me
I said I missed the way I felt
she said she regrets ******* up
I said I don't give a ****
she said she sees I've found my happiness
I said "yeah, with someone else"
she said I'm glad you're happy
I said I'm sorry that you're not
she said I've lost all my friends
I said I'm sorry but that's okay
she said she's been looking for happiness
I asked if she'd found it
she said she didn't

MAYBE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE CAN'T
FIND HAPPINESS IS BECAUSE THEY NEVER
BOTHERED TO LOOK FOR IT IN THEMSELVES
man, **** this.
  Apr 2017 xmelancholix
neko
one time mary lambert told me that i am a ******* tree stump so i went outside to absorb the earth

always take time out of every day to go out without shoes on
feel the grass beneath your feet and between your toes
go out in public without shoes as well
do not be self-conscious
do not blush and curl in your toes when people stare
always remember that feet are weird anyway
always be proud of your weird parts

one time i did dxm and almost puked
laying in the cool dewy grass made me feel better though
i couldn't fathom how beautiful everything was in that moment
(i do not condone the use of drugs)

one time there was a time when i didn't need nicotine or drugs to feel better about myself
i miss that, that time in my life

i'm getting better though
i hope you are too
i hope you get completely naked before a shower and while the water's heating up i hope you look at yourself and touch all of you and i hope you slide your hands down your ribs and hips and think "******* i am one ****, fuckable *******"
because that's exactly what you are
i don't want this to be a cliche "u r beautiful" thing but i think that's what it's turning into

a cool thing about life is that when you cry your cheeks get stained with black but it always goes back to normal
your skin, that is
a cool thing about you is that you are like your skin
a cool thing about your skin is that it's always changing, always shedding, always growing
what i'm trying to say is that nothing is permanent
that you aren't always gonna be stuck in this **** hole
that you'll always find a way to resurface
that you aren't just a crack in the cement, you're the whole ******* city
haha, i love you you stupid head
a lot of people do
be kind to others because we're all just dumb beautiful walking flesh things
smile at every stranger and love like plants do
i don't care what you say, you are someone's sun
so shut up with all that "i'm worthless no one will ever love me" crap
be a conceded *******
love yourself
disregard rude remarks
basically be like kanye
u do u booboo

keep all of this in mind the next time you're afraid to go out in a certain outfit or to change your hair or to wear lots of makeup or no makeup or eat or any ******* nonsense you wanna do. please just do it. dont be a *****
xmelancholix Apr 2017
drip...
      drip...
             drip...
a leaky faucet that someone didn't quite finish closing off
a cry for help when the ties of the rope aren't tight enough to hold your weight in lies and sadness.
so a slow drip will suffice
but you'll wish to expedite this pain by drowning yourself
but someone didn't quite finish closing you off
so you'll die
drop by drop.

and you used to love the water
the way it was refreshing and cleansing
and reminded you of the feelings we had
I left you on edge
I left you unhinged
I left you not quite closed off

I left you loose and you still poured out for me
I left you with hope and you drip on...
alternate titles:
dripping.. or a steady flow
a faucet
xmelancholix Apr 2017
so you're searching for reason in all the wrong places.
so you don't tell anyone what you're looking for,
so you just keep your head tilted down.
keep going.
if you keep lowering your eyes then
maybe you'll lower your head right into your chest and
maybe logic will fill that space when
maybe your heart once resided.
maybe.
4/26/17
uncertainty and self denial
I suppose this is loosely based on how I view myself based off the poem lifedance by Charles Bukowski
xmelancholix Apr 2017
The sun is much colder when you’re alone but the moonlight is warm at the end of the day when my bones creak from exhaustion.
Human interaction wears me out and I can’t hear myself over others. I want to ******* smash my head against the wall and no one leaves me alone I just want the and no one else at this. I take my time to recharge alone because I haven't taken time for myself yet today.
EVERYONE SHOULD SHUT THE **** UP FOR TWO SECONDS.
UNDERSTAND ME PLEASE WHEN I SAY THAT I WANT TO DIE FOR THE REASON THAT THAT'S THE ONLY ESCAPE FROM THIS EARTH THAT I HAVE.
xmelancholix Apr 2017
I thought God was calling me until I realized my phone was dead and
my brain was just reverberating the ringtone that was ingrained in my head next to your name.
I'm so ******* lame, because
it was just the static along with the 100 miles with no signals.
a you showed me what love was when I thought my savior had left me.
I thought you were the one, darling..
only to have you smash my heart as much as my ******* phone screen.
it's okay though,
I have my network to back me up after you left me.
so more more dial tones.
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