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349 · Jul 2015
The Skies
epictails Jul 2015
I look up at the horizons
feeling that something big
is at work
348 · Jun 2015
The Aftermath
epictails Jun 2015
Mother, mother guns everywhere
I woke up—the blood on their faces
The rats are out of their lair
Peasants shiver at their terrible aces

Mother, mother a rifle on your head
The place is on a storm , help me
I looked back but everyone is dead
The darkness slowly swallows me

Mother, mother abandon any hope
There is none to find, none to hold
If dying is freedom, then life is in the rope
My mind blazed in agony, but tears
stained cold

Mother, mother tell me goodbye
I'll close my eyes, remain unfeeling
As I bring your face in me until I die
Even though that thought will have
me hurting
346 · Apr 2015
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
Hidden calm in a corner
She whispers, distraught, to it
Like a maiden miserly of saving
Ears unhinged from the cacophonies flying amok
Eyes inflamed with blinding unholiness
Her worth, exhausted with the world's venom
But there it lay, profoundly
Always in her reach
A fragment of herself
Buried in a sleeping past
Arms dipping the depths of silence
Solace, she seized
Raising to life a lost will within her dormant abyss
And make light of the chaos shadowing her
340 · Dec 2015
151230
epictails Dec 2015
Daylights fading
Locked in my self
The music slowly dies out

Everything is a passing gray
As the dim out my room
Becomes  my loneliness
Happy birthday. I am upset on your day
340 · Jun 2015
How
epictails Jun 2015
How
If I could learn to hope,
I could learn how to believe
If I could learn to believe,
I could learn how to live
340 · Jul 2015
Untitled
epictails Jul 2015
I looked hard at the lake
Saw a villain from within
I caved in the existential murkiness
To question all that rots, all that wrecks
The heart of the unknown
Is both wonder and disgust

My breathing is an orchestra
The dissonance is unbelievable
Almost blasphemous
Some creatures nip at my fleshy mortality
I wonder how they tasted me

The cold calls me with ordinary gesture
I say my greetings to the other side with pleasure
Asphyxiation desensitized me with ******* rhyme
As the romantic swell of death settles

There is no god to claim me
I am the reason for everything
That I am
No more and nothing else
People who know me might think I've gone crazy for writing something so dark. But the fact is I can only write dark things, dark stories. I was also surprised how I came to doing this poem. If someone could look at my soul it's probably all black. Death is very tempting to write about not that I romanticize it as much as I do with living. I find it very strange and beautiful at the same time.
338 · Nov 2015
Untitled
epictails Nov 2015
Depression is so terrible. You are so sad you feel like the melancholy will stretch forever. But I have to **** it up and pathetically write this down at 2 in the morning.
334 · Apr 2015
Untitled
333 · Mar 2015
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
I've heard evaded promises
With the touch of your lips

I've seen countless faces
With the desire you bore inside of me

I've lived a million lives
With the collide of our souls
epictails Jun 2015
I saw this lady in North Street
Who walks in mystery,
Her eyes, mild, teary
Though her lips turns cheery

A muse in a daydream
Her grace, heaven's beam
Suddenly, from her came a scream
Like a gust of an impatient steam

She flew out in a rampage
A lioness unkempt from the cage
Frenzy in her madness she'd wage
To anyone who was not on her page

In this affair, I deeply despaired
But to contain her I couldn't have dared
I felt something off—weird
One by one, to me everyone stared
Like a freak show they feared

Curses quickly pooled at my feet
Blasphemy hurled at a moment of heat
I wept, baffled in quiet defeat
For it was then I became the strange
lady of North Street
325 · Oct 2015
Untitled
epictails Oct 2015
'How much do you make?' rather than 'What do you love to do?'
I was able to read today. But then again I slept for the entire day after only 4-5 hours of being awake.
318 · Jan 2016
Untitled
epictails Jan 2016
I wonder how I let sadness crash me like the cruel waves
as I sank wrecked, unsearched.
Sometimes I'm so sad I feel like it's the only thing I'll ever know how to do.
312 · Feb 2015
Untitled
epictails Feb 2015
Love should be the only epidemic
that reaches and infects the entire world
311 · Oct 2015
Untitled
epictails Oct 2015
How am I supposed to understand
the demons that trail your shadow
when I can't even quiet mine?
I've done it again. Depression is an art, like everything else. It occurs to me quite exceptionally.

Truly exhausted of asking myself. I have this fear of not really going anywhere with this on my shoulders. I have stopped writing because it no longer breathes into me. On occassions it does. But not like before that it raises me up from my well of hell despite my lows. I was scared that the one thing that holds me together has slipped like the sands of time in my loosening hands. I saw it coming but not this soon. The walls are closing in on me and they're on fire.
309 · Jul 2015
Untitled
epictails Jul 2015
"But no one will even know," he mutters, deciding against himself as the burgundy hue of a dwindling life stripped him bare right to the shallow blue pools of tear-stained eyes. The bitterness brimmed at his gut as the early moon of solemn June waits, vulture-like for the looming despair that follows after the storm has ravaged all that is left to hope for. The bottle sat nicely in the clammy, pale hands. The glowing hard print spitting at his vain pretensions. It says Tennessee's finest, soon to be his worst.

The hum of his wife's uneasy breathing came through the thin walls but he heard it as one with the cry of the night, unable to bail him out of the self-made prison of thoughts. He shifts and turns with the clock's dance but his mind went back to the beginning and the end. Slowly reaching a conclusion with the reality that failed him, his shaking hands went to the hateful curse that soothes every pain with a sardonic grin.  The liquid dagger slithered down his eager throat, a murderer settled on the ****. Licking his flaky lips one last time, he received a life of no return with the loudest sigh of regret.
Inspired by Fitzgerald's short story about alcohol addiction. And I know some people who have destroyed themselves because of the abuse. It's a very steep path to travail.
302 · Apr 2015
Wrong Timing (10w)
epictails Apr 2015
Death knocked on his door, right when he's started living
301 · Jun 2015
Nostalgia
epictails Jun 2015
The shadows are being swallowed
by the coming light
Today,
you are here before my eyes

Old photographs
that held our smiles
Misty mornings
momentarily losing me and you,
I miss you

So now,
I breathe our memories
I hear our disrupted sighs
I remember, I remember
and I miss you
This is what happens when you listen to melancholic folk music
291 · Mar 2015
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
We are all a little fragile
you and me

*but that's just being human
288 · Aug 2015
Untitled
epictails Aug 2015
You can fool the world
Fool those who know
Fool the liars
Fool the judges
Fool the voices
Fool them all
But it ends
*When you have fooled yourself
Anxious for the past few days. I am afraid of almost everything and going outside the house is giving me so much nerves like I'll break into panic attacks again. I have stopped feeling dead inside but sometimes I do get that sinkhole of mess. Couldn't write and it's making me more irritable like I'll write a few words then stop because my brain has become too stupid. Maybe I need support group even if I tolerated this better. Sometimes strangers with the same plight could do things quite unexpected.
280 · Nov 2015
Untitled
epictails Nov 2015
There is a crack
anywhere,
everywhere
calling you out
to fix it.
276 · Feb 2015
Untitled
epictails Feb 2015
The only way to break the barriers
They made you believe is your realm
Is to be the person
They think you will never be
275 · Sep 2015
Fucking Tired
epictails Sep 2015
I really hate this. I hate it when I am feeling nauseous because of so much anxiety and no one takes me seriously. 'You just ate too much' or 'You're just thinking about it' nobody ever listens and tries to probe instead making their own assumptions. I want to get away from here. Somewhere very far where no one knows me, not even one person. I want to live alone with my disease and heal myself because I can feel it coming back again but the understanding I need is never really enough. There are times when there is so much rage and confusion from inside me and idk where it comes from. It is very dangerous because I just find myself becoming violent and wanting to hurt someone. I feel sick of this but I am the only one who could accept this. If people disowned me, I'd probably thank them because truth be told I don't want to see people right now. I really don't.
All this ******* is making me invalid
270 · Aug 2015
Micropoetry #5
epictails Aug 2015
He was nothing in a crowd
She was everything all on her own
Exploiting my muse because I'm having a field day today with all the **** I read— greed, evil passed forward (but gave me the inspiration despite of)
268 · May 2015
Untitled
epictails May 2015
Talk too much
Listen too little
No wonder we're all worlds apart
261 · Jun 2015
Untitled
epictails Jun 2015
There is no belief
far more
dangerous
than
the belief
that all hope
is gone
260 · Sep 2015
#18002
epictails Sep 2015
I get lost
in my own
silence—
in a vacuum
that leads
me to a
greater sunken
ground.

I've
gone
too often
It overwhelms,
it envelopes
like galaxies
closing up
on me

Though
each
time
I surface,
I'm never
quite
the same
person
who
went.
hello goodbye  mental frustrations
260 · Mar 2015
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
The waves are crashing at my feet
Impatient winds coldly brushing against my heated skin
Birds flying in unison towards my stagnant figure
Trees praying to the ground beneath them
The world is calling out to me
*I am finally home
235 · Jul 2015
Untitled
epictails Jul 2015
Piles of crickets in my gut chattered like peasants again
Straight to my heart of pebbles—crashing whole as a full speed train
Every second ticks like a passing in hell
A long winding pit that only those who've gone could tell

Limb by limb I am restrained by an invisible force
Keeping me chained to illusions,leading to an undesired course
I am at the mercy of the shadows that sprang like weeds from inside me
Sweeping me stolen like a forest with not even one solitary tree

They tell me to laugh it off like a drunken's joke
To push on with what is left of my cursed yoke
If I cut myself in pieces they'll hang their mouths open instead
For they'll stop it with the "it is all just in her head"

The sun that warms me vital has long been eclipsed in my vision
In this blanket of sadness, there is only growing oblivion
I'd like to rise some more but how can I? I am the battle
There is nothing to see here except for me to be reduced in a rubble
Feeling much better now after an unwanted storm
231 · Jul 2015
Untitled
epictails Jul 2015
All this power

it leaves me dry

it kills every ounce of freedom

I thought I always had

just so I could have others breathe

All this power

it ruins

but never heals
"I realized that the slump I'm feeling right now has to do with all the sick things the world has shown me. "
172 · Jun 2015
Untitled
epictails Jun 2015
It was fear that got me into poetry, after all

— The End —