I was seven when I saw this light,
shining dimly through my bedroom window
Didn't seem much but that was my light,
My call, my way out
The light was my future yearning me to hold on
To stay
For one more day.

I was seventeen when I saw the light again
It shone brighter than before
and took a human form
Six foot tall, with bright blue eyes and brown wavy hair
With a cute smile and crooked teeth and when he spoke,
I swear I could melt
And when he touched, I was paralyzed with fright

My future's here, but will it stay?
Will it want me as I am, 'cause change doesn't accept me
Panic absorbs through my skin and freezes my bones

Can I make it?
The dim light is here now, shining brightly with opened arms
Should I stay?
Just one more day?

What family?
     I am an orphan
My father is abusive
     I am an orphan
My mother left us when I was little
     I am an orphan
My sister can't show she loves me
     I am an orphan
Even my shadow has disappeared
     I am an orphan
Yes, I have a family
     But I am an orphan

I hate relationships
I hate love
I hate to feel things
I hate to hate love

I know you don't trust me
I know you don't understand
I know I wont get a second chance
I know this will come to an end

I just wish you'd give me time
I just wish you'd understand
No matter what happens to us
I'll always want you to be safe

As you sit beside me
The world fades away
Just you and me in focus
It all seems okay
With my fingertips
I trace your face
Your jawline
Then your lips
Our eyes lock together
I could hear a faint click
I've pictured this moment for so long
I'd started to believe this day would never come
But you smile brings me back
To reality, to you
This moment is perfect
And so are you.
I look deep in your eyes
And find a hidden chest
Inside lies all those words
I wished you would've said
Slowly we lean closer
And closer we become
I feel your pulse thumping
To the rythym of our love
Your hand cups my face
My hand finds comfort in your hair
You close your eyes
Ready for our first kiss
But our lips don't meet
My lips land right next to yours
Very close, to the side of your lips
" Why didn't you kiss me? "
Your voice is hurtful
Your hand falls from my face
And then I begin to say
"Your lips aren't meant for me to kiss
Your eyes aren't for me to miss
Your love isn't for me to feel
Your heart isn't for me to live in
I'll walk away from your life
Just needed this moment, this one time
Cause you deserve the best there is
And sadly the best isn't me"

I'm slowly losing you
Day by day
I try to be strong
But I can't stay this way

I'm slowly losing you
And all that we had
I hope you miss those at times
Cause it tells what we had was true

I'm slowly losing you
I can feel the drift
How you've distanced from me
And there's nothing I can do

I'm slowly losing you
Or have I already lost you?

♥♥Every night I wait for you
One simple message
A good night
Or a kiss or hug
But that's too much to expect
You don't do that anymore
I'm no longer important
I'm no longer yours
So you take me for granted
Making me wait for hours
Days,  even, but I swear
That they feel like ages
I hope one day you wake up
And you're able to see the unseen
The unseen love
The unseen dying love
I miss you baby but you don't
Even if you do
You don't act so
I'll be here for you for now
For now, not forever
One day I'll go away
Sick of waiting
Tired of mistakes
One day when I can't stand it anymore
I'll leave you to be happy yourself
Cause I'm not a toy that you play
I'm be the one who completes you
But if you miss to see
I'll be someone who loved you truly♥♥

whenever you're around me, I feel so alive
like I've found a vital piece of my heart once again
you make me happy, you make me smile
you make me feel the butterflies in my tummy that just can't seem to stop
this feeling is just so fantastic
I wish to freeze time

but this isn't a fairy tale, oh no it's not
you're fading away from my life and i need you to not
not go from my life, not make me feel alone again
the butterflies that used to flutter about are now dying instead

Is it love or just an illusion?
The way you make me feel
Every time you smile baby
My heart skips two beats

Is it love or just an illusion?
How vulnerable I am around you
I feel secure and happy
Yet I feel so fragile 'cause of you

Is it love or just an illusion?
Why am I not able to see
You're using me you selfish man
And I'm not speaking against it

What you do to me is special
I've never felt so unique
When you're with me I'm happy
But when you leave I slowly die

Is it love or just an illusion?
Are you my true love
Or are you a lesson?

Stars can't shine without darkness
I can't shine without you <3

Feeling like an idiot
waiting for you
to come back
When will you
come back to me!

Why can't it be simple
Why don't you come back
You obviously love me too
So why are you so scared?

You take forever to reply
But I'm still waiting for you
When you walk away
I stand there waiting for you

You thought I forgot what we had
But it's impossible to forget my heart
The most vital thing to me
Is in your grasp

I'll be waiting for you
To give your heart back
Cause you still have mine
So its fair I have yours too

Just you and me
That's all I need
Locked in a room for a day
That's all I'll need

The rest of the world
can burn down
If I have you by my side
I'm safe and sound

We're all we need
Why can't you see
I love you and
You love me

Don't hurt me anymore
Don't cause me more pain
You're all I need baby
I'm just too scared to say

I walk pass girls better than me
Skinny pretty tall blonde
Perfect barbie like
my insides burn with hatred
Knowing I can never be that

I try so hard but it doesn't work
Looking like a fake plastic doll
My tears wipe out the cakey stuff
I'm ready to give up

I know I'm not like them
Trying so hard is just useless

He's hurt but so am I
Please don't go...
Bring me back to life

Friends for life
That's what you want
Are you honest
You're kidding me know

We used to be a couple
Not perfect but as one
We'd fight for each other's love
I can't believe that's gone

I tried so hard to get you back
Improve my flaws
Ignore my mistakes
But you're too scared to try again

I guess it's fine
I understand your pain
But do think about me too
I'm dying everyday

Please do know that I loved you
Ignore my mistakes and the pain I caused
Cause I swear I've changed
It'll be only us this time

*Please believe me

your memories haunt me
             every second of the day
      my mind is in             h   a  
                                      c            o   s    

               I cant
                           th
                                i
                                 n    k             a  
                                                 str      i                t  
                                   ­                          g       h
                                          
                    ­                    your love is my CURE
                                                   but you're too     a f r a i d
                                     if you save my life
                                                          yo­u'll die instead

too scared to lose what I've already lost

I remember the day we first met,
when you told me i meant so much to you.
you were my dream boy, you were my love.
you still mean the same, only now you're gone.
i wish to have those days back, i wish to have us
but deep down, i know for a fact, that you have moved on.
please forgive me, hey, listen to what i say.
i meant the words i said, i meant it when i said i love you.
not past tense, not forgotten, it still stands strong, my words and my love.
hey you.....sorry i love you so much.

Those quiet nights
Our silly fights
Your beautiful eyes
And cute little lies
All your little things

Can I have you back, please?