I was seven when I saw this light,
shining dimly through my bedroom window
Didn't seem much but that was my light,
My call, my way out
The light was my future yearning me to hold on
To stay
For one more day.

I was seventeen when I saw the light again
It shone brighter than before
and took a human form
Six foot tall, with bright blue eyes and brown wavy hair
With a cute smile and crooked teeth and when he spoke,
I swear I could melt
And when he touched, I was paralyzed with fright

My future's here, but will it stay?
Will it want me as I am, 'cause change doesn't accept me
Panic absorbs through my skin and freezes my bones

Can I make it?
The dim light is here now, shining brightly with opened arms
Should I stay?
Just one more day?

What family?
     I am an orphan
My father is abusive
     I am an orphan
My mother left us when I was little
     I am an orphan
My sister can't show she loves me
     I am an orphan
Even my shadow has disappeared
     I am an orphan
Yes, I have a family
     But I am an orphan

I hate relationships
I hate love
I hate to feel things
I hate to hate love

I know you don't trust me
I know you don't understand
I know I wont get a second chance
I know this will come to an end

I just wish you'd give me time
I just wish you'd understand
No matter what happens to us
I'll always want you to be safe

As you sit beside me
The world fades away
Just you and me in focus
It all seems okay
With my fingertips
I trace your face
Your jawline
Then your lips
Our eyes lock together
I could hear a faint click
I've pictured this moment for so long
I'd started to believe this day would never come
But you smile brings me back
To reality, to you
This moment is perfect
And so are you.
I look deep in your eyes
And find a hidden chest
Inside lies all those words
I wished you would've said
Slowly we lean closer
And closer we become
I feel your pulse thumping
To the rythym of our love
Your hand cups my face
My hand finds comfort in your hair
You close your eyes
Ready for our first kiss
But our lips don't meet
My lips land right next to yours
Very close, to the side of your lips
" Why didn't you kiss me? "
Your voice is hurtful
Your hand falls from my face
And then I begin to say
"Your lips aren't meant for me to kiss
Your eyes aren't for me to miss
Your love isn't for me to feel
Your heart isn't for me to live in
I'll walk away from your life
Just needed this moment, this one time
Cause you deserve the best there is
And sadly the best isn't me"

I'm slowly losing you
Day by day
I try to be strong
But I can't stay this way

I'm slowly losing you
And all that we had
I hope you miss those at times
Cause it tells what we had was true

I'm slowly losing you
I can feel the drift
How you've distanced from me
And there's nothing I can do

I'm slowly losing you
Or have I already lost you?

♥♥Every night I wait for you
One simple message
A good night
Or a kiss or hug
But that's too much to expect
You don't do that anymore
I'm no longer important
I'm no longer yours
So you take me for granted
Making me wait for hours
Days,  even, but I swear
That they feel like ages
I hope one day you wake up
And you're able to see the unseen
The unseen love
The unseen dying love
I miss you baby but you don't
Even if you do
You don't act so
I'll be here for you for now
For now, not forever
One day I'll go away
Sick of waiting
Tired of mistakes
One day when I can't stand it anymore
I'll leave you to be happy yourself
Cause I'm not a toy that you play
I'm be the one who completes you
But if you miss to see
I'll be someone who loved you truly♥♥

I don't know a lot of things,
I don't know why leaves should be green and skies should be blue,
I don't know what can drive a person to do some of the things that they do,
I don't get why people can't just talk about how they feel,
And I will probably never learn to determine the difference between what is fake and what's real,
But I think I've learned
One must suffer into the truth because they cannot know true happiness without pain,
Heavenly bread should never be the cost of an earthly gain,
The only person you owe anything to is you,
And you deserve to be happy, no matter sins you've committed and ones you will do,
And the one thing I know to be infallibly true,
Is no matter what I tell myself, what I say, I think I may love you
But you don't feel the same way as me
And that's okay too