tumble out of the raincloud
fall onto a dewy petal
pastel softness
clean body resting on the earth
mesh

loud
so genuine it seems fake
temper
cries easily
animal lover
talkative
passionate
overly sweet
accidentally inconsiderate
cant whisper to save my life
non confrontational until angered
giving
creative
hard working
obnoxiously loud and annoying
liberal
avoids messy situations until i HAVE to face them
flamboyantish
scared
loves being feared / having power
hates directly hurting people
anxious
too freaked to apologize
very touchy
hyper

FOR ME!

STOP BEING SCARED OF PEOPLE.

EVEN IF YOU THINK PEOPLE HATE YOU, RESPOND WITH LOVE AND M A K E THEM LOVE YOU. IF THEY DONT, THEN MOVE ON.

BEING ANNOYING IS OKAY!

Hey, power is not everything.
Hey, what's the worst that could happen?
Hey, be sweet.

sometimes what is best for you will hurt others, and that is a hard position to be in.

al - call her! schedule a time! be genuine and kind and talk about events and ideas, not others!

an- ask her about HER. schedule a time! lead the fun but let her know you are there for serious times!

be- bond! support her and learn about her

ca- no sham in appreciation! start things!

ch- tolerance! have intelligent conversations and then ask to meet her dog

d- help him understand right from wrong. always empathize. dont let him drown

e- once again, tolerance. call her!

k- apologize but keep distance. tell the whole truth and nothing but it.

o- TALK to her!dont put her in a position she does not want to be in. take time to form good trust again

v- stop inviting him to stuff/ talking to him and see if he talks to you.

do i have influence?
if so, how much?

how many people listen?
do they listen out of admiration or fear?
do they listen out of respect or for the purpose of mockery?

my message: feel. deeply and understand what you are feeling. sometimes our motives are even hidden from ourselves. figure them out.

slippery sweet wet sticky juicy

piercing fragrance

saturation: 100%

i missed it! it just has to be secret!

its like a healthy drug!

diagnosed with ADHD?

- feel ******! i cut a close friend off bc of the way she was treating others + me + her general attitude i didnt want to be associated with....but i feel bad for no explanation but i didnt want to make it worse

-love mee!! im so needy! what the ****!

- i have!  like. two friends! and 0 social skills im scared to lose them!

ewwwwwww

every time he texts me my stomach hurts?
but he talks to everyone the same way

i feel like im walking on eggshells again

icarus is i
and i flew to close to the sun.

the more love you give the more you take from yourself.

that's alright when the other does the same. you are refilled.

but get too carried away, get to involved, care to much, you each take more than you deserve

you empty each other and scrape out their love till it's gone.

who would be happy then.

missing him.
but not who he is now.
it's missing someone who will never be again.
like part of him died.

street food smell
- laying in bed in the dark
- music that you resonate with
- candles warming you
- running down the street but never in a race
- being held by someone who accepts you

i can't figure out if i want him to want me or not.

maybe i'll never know.

actually - i know i want him to want me. but if i had him i'd be miserable and so would he.

i want him though he's the worst thing for me.

i think i might be a horrible person
but i didn't know
^ that is not meant to be an excuse

i am trying to be more humble

but how do you fix yourself when you didn't know you needed to be fixed?

i'm not sure about anything anymore

pour love down my throat.

only your love.

let me float on it.

i will be happy.

let me drown in it.

i will survive.

let me hold onto it.

please.

i deserve you begging at my feet.

i deserve you showering me and only me in love.

because i matter
because i care.

i deserve better.

i deserve your dumb jokes that everyone else hates.

i deserve to get to put up with you.

i deserve you telling me youre sorry

no

not telling. showing.

i deserve you letting me know i am strong and beautiful and amazing.


i deserve your smiles.

I AM A LIVING BREATHING HUMAN AND I FEEL SO DEEPLY AND LOVE SO MUCH

BUT YOU CANNOT CLAIM THAT WHENEVER YOU WANT

AND LEAVE ME IN A PUDDLE WHENEVER YOU WANT

AND BE WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT

WHENEVER YOU WANT

WHILE I MOURN THE LOSS OF SOMEONE WHO WILL COME BACK
BUT ONLY TO VISIT
JUST A QUICK VACATION
A QUICK ESCAPE

"i always thought youd be there"

YOU CANNOT! RUN OFF WITH WHOMEVER AND EXPECT ME TO BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO FALL BACK ON.

AND IT HURTS. MORE THAN ANYTHING KNOWING I WANT TO BE THERE. I WANT TO HELP. I WANT YOU TO LET ME LOVE YOU.

BECAUSE I DO. SO ******* MUCH.

i am the only once who cares. these girls do not care. your friends do not care. your mother and father care. but i have consistently let you fall on me. and i was crushed in the process

love is desperately trying not to care
because they never did
i mean they did at one point
who knows what happened

feel a wave crash in my brain

electricity sparks and I'm excited

my hands shake and I grin

my eyes filled with life

drops of water fall from my heart
to the page

filled with thoughts and emotion and hope and a message longing to be heard

you crawl on the ground

it is dark

cold and
bloodied

blips of teeth flash in your mind

why oh why
why oh why

you scream
but

who is to hear?

certainly not me! I turn up the radio

pan over to you dragging yourself
down the street

unknowing joining the rest

first you dripped into it then I did
hanging by your neck above a teacup
bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter
foam bubbles and swirls
wrapping you into it
dragging you in
as you drip drip drown
pool of lost memories
years forgotten
longing for what no longer exists
craving the unknown craving the unobtainable
brown leaks from the crack in the cup
your neck crrrrrrrrracks

amber tinted sun
    falls through the slic es of green
piled on wet earth

little loud screaming birds fly over the valley
fits of emotion
tumbling dashing around inside
their little scrreaaming heads.

  lying in wait for her victim long blonde
dead;y
she sings
happily
high pitch hiding her t.r.u.e. feelings

tic
k tick

pick the lock

boom boom

cutoFF
Ym tongue

bite yours too!

fake fake fake wet
tears
falllllll

chop off my fingers
and
chew ch
ew on them yum

very odd

i am a rigid,
pale stone
and the water that washes over me/
that is life.
sometimes the flow is-fast a
nd sometimes...it is slow
but I refuse to let
it play me
though the water affects me
(it rushes over me, smoothing out som,e , but not all of my edges)
it is not my master.

faded yellow sun crawls up th
e earth
hello morning
baby plants are inspired

plush lips
soft as can be
taste like candy
baby pink
kiss me again

send me writing prompts :)

limelight on me
ice sculptures dipping on my
forehead
citrus flavor of my mouth
drop to the floor
absorbing the feeling
everything is a blur-
no, not a blur
flashes

you make us both peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wait on the couch. dead mind.

you tell me it will be ok. you touch my forehead with your lips. white noise.

you turn on the light and leave me to lay. you'll be back. "rest assured" black space.

you take me on a walk. like a dog. we hold hands and see plants. your eyes look ashamed. blank thoughts.