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Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
He said
*He loves me too
Recent love has Congress my way and I'm ecstatic
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
I thrive
on definite things.
facts
things that cannot change.
when one of those "facts"
are no longer true
I question myself
and go through a spiral
down, down
down the rabbit hole of depression
self loathing
anger

fear.

do i choose path one?
or two?
or just stay here
on my crumbling
sense of a
"foundation"?
Confusing times about sexuality bring me poems. odd.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
in, out
in, out
keep telling yourself its okay
and things will turn out fine
you cant change this one, dear
i know you want to
but you cant do a thing, sweetie
just take a breath and hold it
long after your face turns blue
if you hold it long enough it might do
if you wake again in a room draped in white
tubes sprouting out your veins
its quite alright, my love
for you just need to hold it longer
for as time passes just pretend
pretend like you can hold it together
for someone will believe
and let you be
but this time
when that comes
take things nice and slow
in
out
feel the wind breeze against your face
high in the sky
almost touching the stars
as you can hear honks from cars
the salty smell hitting your nose
as you just let it go
dropping, dropping
down you go
until
finally
you hear the whistling of wind in your ears
your hair flowing like the water below
and suddenly
plink
just like a raindrop
you fall from the sky
but instead of stopping, you fall further
this time
not gravity.
your greif and misery
dragging you down
yet the farther you go
it doesnt feel heavy
you feel light, floating even
until
you pop up
looking around, you find yourself in a river
a river of lost souls
finally,
finally.
you have reached
your final destination.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
just close your eyes sweetie
take a breath to remember
for you will never open them again
take in the smell of the grass
the color of the sky
but ignore the mushroom cloud penetrating nearby
forget the mask on your face
forget your hazy gaze
but remember the lone flowers swaying sickly
awaiting for thier end to come
remember your tree
whose leaves are falling
as if it was fall
yet it is spring
remember your dog, not knowing the impending doom
who still sits by your side and waggs his tail
looking up to you
remember the smiles on your mothers face
the laughter from her throat
but forget the solemn look on her face
as she gazes into the distance
seeing the wave of destruction approach
remember your father as the man he was
not the coward who fled
you can only remember the best my love
for if you dont
you will not live on in your head
remember only the good things about you dear
your wide hips
slender curves
well fed cheeks
not the scars that reach across your skin
scratching to get out from inside
remember the smiles you had on your face
not the tears gliding down with little grace
remember your gutteral laughter as a beautiful thing
not something to be ashamed of my love
think not of your younger sibling
still an infant in your mothers arms
for lost children are to be mourned
think not of what they could have done
just think of thier cute cheeks
think of them as now, not could be, not could have been
time is running out my love
walk, calm and slow to your bed
looking back at the place you call home
and take your teddy
clutched in your tight grip
and lay in the bed with your mother
tuck the covers up to your chin
and close your eyes
for now you may allow your tears to fall
and to curl into your mother
your infant sibling between you two
remember now as just a nap
a nap forever
to never wake up from
close your eyes my dear
do not let the cloud moving at incredible speeds scare you
for it is just a dense, deadly fog
your eyes close
as the grip on teddy tightens
your mothers grip on the two of you become desperate
and as your teardrop hits the pillow
you descintigrate
into the unknown
but my dear
you can always hold my hand
and remember
i will guide you through oblivion
A prompt i got was about trees and the sky. I came up with a impending nuclear death.
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
recently
ive been feeling
alone
and not just the lonley
where your lacking a person
or a presence
an alone where you cant feel anything
and it feels like your stomach
is droping from the top of a rollercoaster
and it is because of you

you, you, you, you, everyone

and i hate it. i cannot change it

i have no control
and i like having control
over my own emotions
i cannot feel anything
my brain
is in a soft fuzzy blanket
i cannot feel
my stomach
the acid burns it numb
and my heart
it has stopped
dead in my throat
my eyes
have become blind
by the boiling aogny flowing out
my mouth
the words gushing out
cut it, emotions choking me

i long
to not be able to feel
because numbness
is

  forever


          agony
spelling errors are intentional, all written in the spur of the moment
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
slowly
slowly
ill wait for you
you cant process
very fast
but your speed will do
for i love you
and though your sick
coughing and
sputtering
your still moving along

i love you
remember that
for when your feeling blue,
it can really show,
just take a breath
or two
or maybe just
a few
few
a few
more

the things
that block me from your eyes
its alright love!
i can see through them quite fine
dont worry
or try to change a thing
for i love you just the way
you are

your viruses and such
you think they just wont do
but , you see my love,
you have programs
that will have to do
their job to fix you
back to the way you were
but for now
ill love you
forever and more

your missing a few things
and some keys are broken
your mousepad just cant seem
to recognize that im trying to move
from one side to the other
but thats fine
not everyone can beat the fancy ones my love
for im typing this out to you
i love you
only you
i love you
just the way you are

KD2015 (c)
Kiarra Dean Jun 2015
home.
i need to go home.
no, mother
we cant go to the store
for we havent been home yet
it is a necessity to go home
before all else
for if not
and the clock strikes five
my hands shake
and tears fill my eyes
for i am not home
and home needs me
yet its more the other way around

home and i
we have a fling
where i come back from my hard day
and she comforts me
houses me
keeps me warm and feeds me
and we need each other
for if i were never there
it would be a skeleton
its insides barren
and if home were never there
id live on the streets
find something so spare

home and i have a connection
if we arent together
after a certain time
we grow weary
lonely
afraid
that the other wont be there
when each other meet again

i need to be home
for home and i have a love affair
she warms me cold winters nights
and cools me hot summer days
and i provide her with love
wear
company

i fear
that if, by five
i am no where near home
time will slip us by
and somewhere along the ride
we will forget each other
for the previous day
would have been
our last kiss goodbye

KD2015 (c)
More spam of poetry. I really like this one
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