The love you let go...
The love you let slip by...
The love that you lost...
The love that tore you apart...
The love that broke you down...
The love that taught you something...
The love that showed you.
Showed you when to let go...
When to be free...
Within her arms...
The love that ruined you...
The love that used you...
That love that burned you...
That love that ****** you dry...
That love that taught you right from wrong...
The love that broke you down...
Down so far, that your ladder is broken to the top...
Your confidence...
Broken...
Climb as you will... or as you may...
But the ladder, us still battered and broken, just as your heart and your life is...
You feel the brokenness, in everyone you see...
Nothing can save them...
Just as you...
Can't save yourself...
Try and try and try as you must...
It's all worthless...
Just as I am...
Just as you are...
Just as we all are...
Humanity is a Cancer...
There's no cure...
But extinction... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

i will end my life
not today
not tomorrow
maybe not even in a year from now
but i will leave this world
by my own hand
for i was brought here
not by choice
i was created
without any consent
signed a contract to keep breathing
the signature being my first breath
so i will leave on my own terms
by my own hand
my choice

s.s

Just come here,
come here and break my spirit,
push me to the ground,
step on me while you're at it,
I know you'll love it, Mr. Evil, you'll love it.

Spit on my face and make me feel worthless,
isn't that your hobby and your passion?
You crush my happiness into bits and pieces,
you kiss me just to bite me,
you **** me just to hurt me.

Mr. Evil is pure evil,
he loves to give me a beating,
he hides in my closet and comes out at night,
to first wipe my tears but then to make me cry.

It's a vicious circle where he gives,
then takes,
takes it all away,
more than he gave,
I'm left with nothing,
nothing but more pain.

This is Mr.Evil's game and I don't really want to play.

I've been tossed overboard
By my own ship of life
Forgotten by the world
Drowning in my own pain
And the lost words I shout
Never to be heard...
I've slipped everyone's mind
Adrift alone at sea
No one seems to hear my cries
All I have left is me
But I'm getting tired of myself
And the demons
Constantly trying to drown me
....
What's the point anyway
In living life just to survive
When there's nothing
To survive for
I guess I might as well
Calm the seas
By giving in to the tides
And letting my body
Wash up on the *shore

My worst fear as a kid
Never was monsters under my bed
Because before I could even walk
I'd known monsters lived within us
Within me
...
It was waking up one day
And realizing the world
Had moved on without me,
Realizing the world
Had left me
As nothing more
Than a faceless void in the crowd
...
Now I'm stuck
Forever running
Trying to catch up with time
Alone
Lost
Scared out of my mind,
Wishing someone would
Just hold my hand
And tell me everything would be okay,
Except it won't..
It never will be
...
But you've cried your tears already
You've already mourned my loss
Because my guardian angel
Won't let me die
And now I'm back as a bigger burden
Than I could ever imagine..
A burden on you,
A burden on those closest to me
A burden on my parents
And my friends and family
Hell, I'm even a burden
On myself
...
How am I supposed to burden you
With truths I won't even admit to myself?
How am I supposed to tell you what's wrong
When nothing is right to begin with?
How am I supposed to fit so many unsaid words,
And so many unsaid feelings
Into a couple meaningless letters strung together?
How am I supposed to hold on to you
When we're living in different times?
Because everything and everyone around me
Is fast forwarding and moving in slow-motion
All at the same time.
Because I'm still suffering in the past
And you've moved on with the rest of the world.
Because everything has changed
And I'm nothing more than a heavy heart
And an empty soul...
Because I've turned into
My own worst fear
...
I'm trying to hold on to some hope
Not yet ready to disappear altogether
The hope I find in your smile
The hope I find in your laughter.
This hope I find because my most favorite thing
In the entire world besides music
Is making someone smile
And seeing you happy.
So maybe if I can do that
My meaningless rebirth
Would have been worthwhile
And yet
That's exactly why
I have to let you go
...
I'm nothing more than a freak
Who rose from the dead
Resurrecting more demons
That made home in my head
And you're someone
I'd give my whole life to..
My mistake wasn't loving you
It was not letting you go sooner
Because your only mistake was
Loving me more than I deserved.
...
      Because those risen from the dead
        Have no place with the living
         And they never will.

I watched you fade away,
At a quicker pace
Than the bruises you left, on my body.

You say silence,
the most beautiful kind.
You touch fiction,
soft as a lover's mind.
You hear hiatus,
strong and clear everytime.
I feel you,
and it's like all of it combined.

she dreams of him at night
touching herself
under the covers

silent beautiful moans
escape her parted lips
as her dainty fingers
linger to the most
precious part of her

slowly moving in and out
imagining it's him
touching her all over

she closes her eyes
picturing his rough
large hands roaming
all over her petite body

her breath hitches
her toes curl
her stomach knots

it's coming
she's coming

all because of him

- wet dreams