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 Feb 2018 katarina
haley
i. the curly, green-haired
leo with the cry-baby tattoo
on her left calf; fish net stockings and
loud guitar playing and
menthol cigarettes. driving through
the park at 9 pm, ***** shots,
the white house with the a-frame roof,
hugs that made your heart feel as warm
as she did

crying as i left my room again to be
intertwined with a girl who did not love me, but i wanted to;
months pass, lonely car rides with
one-sided conversations and
seven years gone,
quiet disconnection
that made you feel as cold
as i did

ii. brown eyes, brown skin,
round glasses and chicago streetlights.
holding each other close on the subway
lakehouse parties in the beginning of spring and
pisces season and tarot readings and
soft kisses on the train.
holding hands at the aquarium,
sweet poetry and calm and
a sense of oneness that made you feel
important

hurt for the third time
a panic, a loss
i held their heart in my hands and
let it fall
harsh
unimportant
i still carry the guilt on my fingertips

iii. short hair. freckled cheeks, i
fell in love with the way the skin
crinkled around her eyes when she smiled.
an apartment, a home built
around our lips touching
wrapped in blankets on the couch,
dense smoke and her hand on my leg while she
drove. chinese food and
waking up against her chest and
laughing so hard
my ribs hurt

crashing. her anger withering away my
heartstrings; pain and
crying alone in the bathtub
moving away
drunk tears on the interstate
punching my thighs
in place of the way her
words made
me hurt
feeling extra lonely these days. they come and go.
 Jan 2018 katarina
anotherdream
Sunlight seeping,
Nobody creeping.
Death fleeing,
Eternity seeking.

Night dying,
Angels flying,
No more crying,
Only trying.

Graves uprooted,
Souls resurrected.
Love is diluted,
All are affected.

Life is through dreams,
Feelings are precious.
All the same teams,
No games are ended.

Smiles are normal,
Crying is lost.
Tears only fall,
When all pain is gone.

Appearance is nothing,
Words are priceless.
Everyone’s blushing,
Regardless of likeness.

Hearts are revealed,
Joy is discovered.
Hate is now sealed,
Love is recovered.

Peace is ever-present,
Wars have deceased.
No fights to prevent,
Loss is decreased.

Time has lost control,
Clocks are disposed.
Reaching for goals,
Lengths aren’t proposed.
Can a vision change the world?
 Jan 2018 katarina
Sara Leal
To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when you feel like you have no more reason to stay alive~
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hey! Cheer up! It's just a bad moment, a really bad one. I know you can pass through it and later on you'll see that it wasn't that bad. I do know because I also have those moments, when I just want to break down and let go everything. So I know that right now it is that bad, with all those negative thoughts inside your head, with all those voices screaming that you're in pain, that you're not needed, that you want to get away from all this. Don't do that, don't get away from it, don't let those voices get to you, it's not your time yet, you have a lot that you should fight for. You have a lot of reasons to keep going and I'm one of them as you're one for me. And remember, I'm here with you. You're not alone in this.
                                                 
       ­                                           Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      24/01/18
The second one out of some. A new series of letters dedicated to you. I hope you feel it like I did.
 Jan 2018 katarina
Mims
"You're really good at poetry!"

*"ha, I'm good at romanticizing toxic situations"
Don't know if that's good or bad
But thank you anyways
 Jan 2018 katarina
Sara Soko
Our conversations had no context,
I felt comfortable in your arms watching Netflix
And I found myself building it up in my head.

When you spoke to me about your dreams,
You never once asked, what about me?
And I found myself grasping for the dead.

Or was it ever living,
Did your heart ever start giving,
Into the spaces I pushed aside for it.

Now I’m the only one grieving,
Lying to myself into believing,
That you are a hypocrite.

For you never claimed to love me,
Only warned, you weren’t ready,
But I pushed for what I wanted.

So am I allowed to blame you,
For the pain I can’t seem to undo.
Leaving what’s left of my heart haunted.
 Jan 2018 katarina
anotherdream
Tired of waking up to pain,
Weary of thinking whether I’m sane.
Tired of sleeping too hard,
With my head in the clouds.

Dreaming of warming faces, beautiful sounds.
Only to wake up with sweat on my brow.
Dreaming of hidden treasure being found,
Dreaming of the earth’s final renown.

I dreamt of two faces,
Who held beauty in their hands,
Making magic dust rise with their golden strands,
Spreading it everywhere as they started to dance.

I remember their names,
Olivia and April.
Waiting for the one day,
When they're seen from a windowsill.

I know they are out there,
They must surely exist.
There is no possibility,
My mind made their face with mere wind.

They were both perfect,
Flawlessly flawed.
They knew I was hurting,
Never failed to call.

They made life easy,
Transformed my heart.
It melted into pieces,
Just fell and broke apart.

When I met her for the first time,
Smiling back at her in life’s line,
She smiled back and knew my true thoughts.
Don’t know how, but I knew we could bond.

I don’t recall her face,
Although it was pure magic.
Gold-toned skin wrapped in fate,
Smooth red lips that always lasted.

Her sun-kissed hair glistened in the day,
She’d sweep me up in it and I would just faint.
Never curled or fixed to look its best,
I loved it fully along with her blue dress.

She’s out there somewhere,
I just have to start searching.
I’ll look too long, I don’t care,
If it means I’ll start learning.

I can see her in their eyes,
I know it was too long.
But I still don’t regret it,
Even if I am wrong.

She reveals her eyes,
Through strangers I see.
Don’t want to miss her walking by,
Like in my sweet sounding dream.
A poem about a dream I had that seemed so real to me. I felt compelled to write a poem about it...
 Jan 2018 katarina
anotherdream
I searched the ocean for my long lost treasure,
Only to forget about it and lose it forever.
I tried to dive deep, keep it together.
Searching for time just to discover,
It never existed.

I thought I had oxygen, I thought I’d be safe.
But turned out to be nothing when compared to the waves,
That pushed and slammed me back and forth,
Releasing my heart and stealing my core.
I’m nothing without it.

Fish everywhere of all shapes and sizes,
Some swimming in the open and some only hiding,
Never being revealed to the rest of the planet,
Nothing caring for them, holding their hand and,
Letting them win.

Their magnificent colors turn red into blue,
If I chose when to leave it wouldn’t be soon.
Fins shimmering through golden sunlight,
Holding all of them and nothing to lose sight.
No fitting in.

Every fish is different and sparkling with colors,
Never to be looked at and compared to another.
Because, quite honestly, that would ruin it all,
Comparing two fish by a mere flaw.
Life’s not a game to win.
 Jan 2018 katarina
Lior Gavra
Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.
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