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Sep 2019 · 266
Mommy
KA Sep 2019
Mommy with your plastic gloves.
Why didn't you give me just one hug?
Tell me it was ok or that I was sane.
Your ***** ancestry with the violin.
Another fake just the same.
Can you tell me I'm ok?

My Robot Sisters in step.
one, two , three
fall in line -
four, five , six.

can you really love Mommy?
can you tell my brother he is ok?
why did you hate the men in life?
what happened to you in your little sun dress?
what was the slight of hand that changed so many lives?
so many hidden answers and no more time.

me with so many woman just to say the debt was paid.
everyone with your face, I made them worship me .
never loved them, I was the one that won.
Me with Sally, Sue and Stella they all adored me,
many that I don't know the name, they all loved me unchanged.

I showed you,
but it wasn't the same.
Nov 2018 · 198
Awake
KA Nov 2018
Life is simple you know .

The site of you in all that is you soothes me.

My tomorrow holds the sun in its hands.

The roads stretches forever.

I stare into forever, my eyes searching the distant  .

You dancing in the red dirt with those brown legs...

and me smiling .
Jun 2018 · 212
Coming home .
KA Jun 2018
I come home drunk and happy .
Nothing more .
What kind of ******* poet is happy ?
Me.
Mar 2017 · 924
The Truth
KA Mar 2017
That slippery thing called The Truth.
Who’s truth you ask?
Your truth or mine?
That slippery of slippery Jester.
The one that hides in your bedside table?
The one that you delete?
The one you post?
Your feeling well hidden or the ones that you show.
The slight smile is the truth maybe?
Maybe the meaning behind your intention is the truth.
Or is it the sunshine and the blue sky?
The truth lies somewhere between a touch of a hand, an honest question with an honest intention.
Love without expectation is perhaps the truth.
With that, there is no attachment or deceit of any kind.
Its the truth that one wears whether seen or hidden hugging the
curves.
Its yours.
Mar 2017 · 532
Rabbit
KA Mar 2017
I slide down the rabbit hole on my way to a new world . A portal full of color to a new world. Leaving the old world with the old people and the old friends.
Mar 2017 · 668
the burn.
KA Mar 2017
The pull of life as you shuffle to the coffee maker, while the dogs sniff your feet.  You pour the water and scoop the coffee.  Push the button, the light turns on and life begins.  The low burn of sound coming from the street outside. You are engaged in it, like it or not. If you spit in the fire of your soul and it still burns... you live my friend.
Mar 2017 · 813
Release me
KA Mar 2017
the blue
the hum
the life electric
the round of the earth below
the hum fills me
i see it
i see it coming fast
the hum growing louder
the blue bluer
the sound crisp
the smell of all that is electric
i hear the people
i smell their clothes
the rush of the crowds reaching out
release me
i have arrived
release me
i have arrived
release me
i have arrived
tears streaming
the great relief
they reach
they reach for me
i have arrived
Feb 2017 · 416
A load of Shit.
KA Feb 2017
I am ****** because I believed that load of ****.
I am ****** because they said they loved me.
They would have let me die, did you know that?

Sinking under the surface of the norm.
Lacking air , life leaving my body.

I hate them for leaving me to die and judging me still.
Feb 2017 · 426
listen
KA Feb 2017
the universe is quiet and doesn't care.
KA Feb 2017
Born in a white neighborhood to white parents in a white church.
Riding her bike to a white school
College with her white girl friends.
Married a white man and had white children.
Teaches Piano to her white students.
Year after Year
Year after Year
Hate seething out between her tight thin lips
Praying in that same white church.
Every Sunday going to that white church.
Praying
Praying
Hate seething out between her tight thin lips.
A good Lutheran girl she is.
Playing her ***** for the congregation.
Jan 2017 · 840
Life Math
KA Jan 2017
You are born and live and live well, good and bad.

You add and subtract and learn.

You throw out and subtract those things that do not add up.

You keep what makes the equation correct and you add more in and live.

You live well my friend , you live well.
Sep 2016 · 766
New Socks
KA Sep 2016
you make your move.
its all hands on deck.
time to change.
change your clothes.
you want to smile.
you are changing socks and people.
some friends aren't friends at all.
small talk in the cellar doors .
you are the topic.

i have to say some and very few friends
and family are true to you.
its those relationships that grow.

the others die like yesterdays tomato's.
rotting and hanging on the vine.
their unhappy judgement
their empty promise of support.
growing further away.....

...but I kept trudging to a new land.
to sunshine, and the land of plenty.

there was she of course, that perfectly perfect love, that loved me without judgement. she just wanted me to be happy while
she was on her journey too.

happiness was the  promise land.
new socks and new shoes.
a few old friends and family that really loved you.
...and a whole host of new ones too.

i'm happy.

truly happy.
Sep 2016 · 309
I can not get full.
KA Sep 2016
I was running ..
running... thinking... letting my mind take a trip.
running looking upward.
Smelling the smells of life.

The borders in my mind fell.
The stars of the night poured down my throat in gallons.

What a beautiful world.
A beautiful night.

Simple pain.
Simple beauty.

The raw colors of the world.
The smell of the energy around us.
The warmth of a calm soul.
My boys smile...
My mothers love.

Life IS...

The stars of the night pour down my throat in gallons.
I can not get full.

The joy and life in people.
The evil in some poor soul.

Its all very colorful.
I listen to the  music of it all.

I ran round and round.
Round and Round.

Thinking ,
People are ugly, invisible and colorful.
How incredible.

The stars of the night pour down my throat in gallons.
I can not get full.
KA Sep 2016
I do not assume a lot ....

I don't assume the spring will come or the streams will flow again...

when the birds will spread their wings and  breathe in the warmth filled with life.

I just don't assume the winter will end.

you know what?

I don't know when I started that...

somewhere between Key West and Buffalo...

somewhere between the palm trees and the canal, there was living you know?

There was those nights of wonder and the nights of slipping into the depths of the dark.

I don't assume.

So, tomorrow when you wake up and say" I love you", its the miracle of miracles.

...and every day after.
KA Sep 2016
My soul back from the exit .

..:from the dark and not knowing

The light always present and was sometimes dimmer than dim

My soul back from the  exit .

Back from the lies and dark dark dark.

Kevin you know who you are .

You know .

You know .

You know.

Back from the exit into the light .
Sep 2016 · 855
Hemingway
KA Sep 2016
Mary, Bumby, Mousy, Rest of Gang...

Been thinking. Tough after all the electro-shock. But here goes.

What will Hemingway leave behind?  A few good books?  OK. That ought to be it for the obit. ‘He wrote a few good books.’  

Yes, there was the drinking and the hunting and the ******* and the fishing. And the talking about the drinking and the hunting and the ******* and the fishing. That was all good too. But that was for pal consumption. By invitation only.

Always hated the star part. Shy as a doe under this elephant hide. Only thing hated more than signing name on checks to the tax-man, signing it on dog-eared editions of The Sun Also Rises. But hating fame doesn't keep it away. Swat a fly, ten more appear.  

Do they read even the few good books anymore? Nope. Only people who read The Old Man And The Sea were thirty Swedish nitwits in Stockholm. The Nobel Prize for Nitwiterature.

So what has Hemingway left behind?  Well, this...

Every young punk with a Liberal Arts degree and a chinful of fuzz and his huevos bursting with juice, wants to be...Hemingway.

Two generations of them now. At least the one in the ‘30s had some politics, fought wars, fished fish, ****** ******. Knew how to read and shoot and drink and talk. A few even knew the back end of a bull from the front.

But this second one, these crew-cut corn-fed Eisenhower mommy-boys? Who’ve never seen a comrade shot dead at their side or an elk breaking cover at first light?  With their butts like the fenders of a ‘55 Chevy, unread paperbacks in the back-pockets of their chinos, babbling bits of Spanish to each other but never to Spaniards, the only hard muscle in their soft bodies that faithful drinking arm...  

They think all that is...being Hemingway.

In Havana, the Floridita was full of 'em. Couldn't go in there anymore. Key West the same. '59 encierro in Pamplona, punk comes up in the Txoko Bar, me talking quiet with Antonio after a good fight...  Wants me to drink from his **** bota.  Threw it in the street. Him after it. Can't go back there either. Won't be able to go anywhere soon.  World full of wanna-be Hemingways.

That’s all Hemingway’s really left behind. A bushy salt-and-pepper beard and an ever-faithful drinking arm.  

Time to check out, gang. A quick clean ****.

The sun also sets.

But here's the beauty part. Forty, fifty years from now, when all the wanna-be Hemingways are old and fat and their chin-fuzz is fried to bristle and their huevos are dried up like figs in a dusty street... But they still want to do it all like Hemingway...

They'll have to eat a shotgun too.

Adios.

-Hemingway
Aug 2016 · 292
The life
KA Aug 2016
The spring water washing the old away.

Yesterdays life.

Yesterdays yesterday.

The new water rushing.

The hum growing.

The whisper now a yell.
Aug 2016 · 720
- +
KA Aug 2016
- +
... I hear the whisper growing,
the whisper's fingers probing me deeper than deep.
whispering it's whisper, "live".

the spring waters rushing.
the snow holding on in the warming sun.

Can't move on and can't stay the same.

pages written long ago thrown in a fall storm.
edges showing in the melting snow.
long ago and how it use to be here with me.

Can't move on and can't stay the same.

a day begins,
the sun shines.
the warmth takes hold,
life begins again.
Feb 2016 · 626
Finding home
KA Feb 2016
A mirage here and there

A yearning to feel safe

I stop at the first sign

Moving on

Searching for a safe place to rest my head
Dec 2015 · 382
Hear that train coming.
KA Dec 2015
you listen for that hum of the lost.....

miles away but coming quick.

when you are ready.

listen.

listen.

bend down and listen to the rail...

the music getting louder the hum of your soul.

its you.

listen.

listen.

listen.
Oct 2015 · 774
Found
KA Oct 2015
...searching

I found me.
Oct 2015 · 604
My Marriage
KA Oct 2015
Radiohead – Fake Plastic Trees Lyrics

Her green plastic watering can for
her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth

What she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber bands
to get rid of itself

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyreneman
Who just crumbles and burns

He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins

And it wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him

She Looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love

But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

If i could be who you wanted
If i could be who you wanted all the time, all the time
Songwriters: YORKE, THOMAS EDWARD/O'BRIEN, EDWARD JOHN/GREENWOOD, COLIN CHARLES/GREENWOOD, JONATHAN RICHARD GUY/SELWAY, PHILIP JAMES
Aug 2015 · 404
Life is going to be ok.
KA Aug 2015
The whisper faint but growing bolder.

The heartbeat of life nearer

and to think I was at deaths door.

My soul dying in its own self.

life begins.
Jul 2015 · 482
Dawn
KA Jul 2015
trembling from the cold

walls of stone

dark and dank

dying

a sliver of light
May 2015 · 372
The Sun
KA May 2015
Hello

I am me

Not what I was

Never was what I thought

I am a ever evolving me

me and all that is
May 2015 · 554
Thrown
KA May 2015
I wake up

I woke up

I'm alive
Mar 2015 · 555
it was never enough
KA Mar 2015
never enough ...

The mountain ***** to your heart went on forever.

Never ending. Forever the effort.

Like all, I just wanted to be accepted and loved.
Feb 2015 · 787
Divorce
KA Feb 2015
All I wanted was for you to say, I love you.

All I wanted you to do is to act like you adored me.

You didn't.
Feb 2015 · 483
A handful
KA Feb 2015
You can not miss what you never had.

An empty bag
swirling in nothing.

You speak with no meaning of
hollow chocolate bunnies and fistfuls of nothing.

You can not miss what is not there.
Feb 2015 · 385
Friends
KA Feb 2015
Listen
Love
Unconditionally
Its simple isn't it?
Just hard to find.
Feb 2015 · 1.6k
Landscape
KA Feb 2015
The dream passes,
kids and images of love lost,
the hope and potential lost.
giving yourself away,
the manipulation and control,
your self inflicted participation,
to wake up and have enough.
decided to be you,
perfect you,
ridiculed but free.
Free to be you.
Free to dream your dream.
Jan 2015 · 616
of the death rattle...
KA Jan 2015
the past clings less and less.
the last gasp of the old self.
air escaping, the color fading.
mouth gaped with blank eyes.
lifeless with a silent story.
Jan 2015 · 455
Sunshine
KA Jan 2015
You are alive to smile at the sunrise and to know that is all that matters.

To stand in the rain, feeling the drops washing away the old

and welcoming the new.

Your life, your happiness.

Smile, smile smile.
KA Jan 2015
I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end


I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

- Nine Inch Nails
by Nine Inch Nails
Jan 2015 · 299
Goodbye
KA Jan 2015
I am no longer that person.
Jan 2015 · 992
Spinning
KA Jan 2015
.... the eternal true word sets the tone.
the meaning behind the meaning.
breathe behind the breathe.
MY soul stops its warm spin.
calm at last.
calm at last.
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
The Future
KA Dec 2014
NOT fitting in a space
eternal
limitless
clear and blue
I kiss the sky
KA Dec 2014
You can't just check it off.
Dec 2014 · 3.9k
Landslide
KA Dec 2014
I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
And can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oh oh I don't know, oh I don't know

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so

I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I, I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too oh yes
I'm getting older too

So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down, down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
Well well, the landslide will bring you down

- STEVIE NICKS
Dec 2014 · 354
There are poems about you
KA Dec 2014
YOU just don't see them
look past
critical make believe

funny actually
all i can do is laugh
crying no more
reaching for the spire
no more

There were always words about you....

you just didn't hear them.
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
I live
KA Dec 2014
dying no more
i rise
i see colors
an array of light
the air electric
i live
i live
i live
Dec 2014 · 301
Never
KA Dec 2014
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary

- Oscar Wilde
Dec 2014 · 810
My funeral....
KA Dec 2014
and you are critical of me one last time.

la fine
Dec 2014 · 728
I will not be sad anymore
KA Dec 2014
I need to live my life
so I am saying goodbye.

I can't wait for you to look my way,
ceaseless loneliness,
you are overseas,
you are next to me
it's all the same.

I need to live my life
so I am moving on

I need to live my life
so I am saying goodbye.

I will not be sad anymore.
Dec 2014 · 588
Our Years
KA Dec 2014
You know our years are not lost
our children
our laughter
the blood
the breathe
the tears

the loneliness just got to me
that's all.
I just couldn't take it anymore.
ignored and dying.

you will be happy.
you will meet someone nice.

our years wont be lost,
you are you
and I am me.
Dec 2014 · 328
I'm not
KA Dec 2014
I'm not interested in being ignored

...the rest of my life.
Dec 2014 · 6.6k
Thursday
KA Dec 2014
and my heart is at rest.
the spinning stops
the air goes still
and my heart beats
KA Dec 2014
As Jill's intentions were revealed,
his heart sank for the past,
his future bright,
a slow death reversed.
Nov 2014 · 1.1k
no longer dying
KA Nov 2014
no longer slipping into the depths
i live
i am me
the sun rises
it shines on my face
no longer in the dark
the new day begin
and my whole life before me
Nov 2014 · 485
Tuesday Dreams
KA Nov 2014
and you are but a dream
a sliver of hope lost
our perfection in vapor
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