Thoughts and ideas begin to speed up
The to do list is processed as I mull over the day's events
You don't need to be high to be in a trance like this
Lost in the zone once again

"It's okay to be sad."*

No.
I'm tired of hearing it.

We aren't meant to be sad.

We are made to be ambitious and driven humans, striving to make a change and make lives better.

Don't let sadness define you.

You are more than a body that surrenders to circumstance.

Step up.

Make changes.

Find the beautiful things and the beautiful people and share them with the people who need them.

Help them realize

It's not okay to be sad.

free me from
lopsided dreams
dizzy and frantic
then
soft and floaty.
downside out
and
upside in.
and you,
always you,
creeping in
lingering
etched in my mind
and on my lips,
but bitter
like poison,
then honey stings.

please sing away the pain
in hushed memories
then erase it.

now
you will
burn
up in flames
and i will rise
from the ashes
with onyx wings
and soar
straight to the moon
and the stars
and the planets.
finally free.

It's a song of pain and of sadness that often comes hand in hand with love; its beat is faltering and ever-changing, matching the pounding in my head and the ringing in my ears. Sometimes I hear your voice, and the way you said you'd regretted almost every part of me is the temporary melody of this new tune. The undertones are constituted of tear drops falling from tear soaked eyelashes, a sound ever so faint but if you'd ever see it happen, it's like an amp overload. I'd like to compare you to myself and put you in this new song - but you're the reason for my hate tonight, and for that, the show will not go on.

an experience,
be it good or bad,
teaches us something.
makes us feel something.
something real.
and that's why we are all here isn't it?
to experience feelings & emotions.
to experience life.
you are not here to feel good or bad,
you are here just to feel.
you are here not to be good are bad,
you are here to just be.
don't you see?
there is no happy or sad,
there is only feeling.
there is no right and wrong,
there is only being.
your existence is a miracle, a blessing, a gift.
this is your chance, your life, your experience.
you can be whoever you want to be.
and you can see however you want to see.
you are everything you think and more.
be grateful & give thanks that you are here,
right now, in this beautiful, potential filled moment.
you are apart of something bigger then you ever could imagine.
bigger than you, than us, than this world , than this galaxy, and this universe.
you are a universe of infinite potential and possibilities.
you are an unstoppable force of love,
you were made by love, for love, to love.
your here to feel, to heal, and keep it real.
& once you realize this, nothing can stop you.

You see these wings?
They’re my wings.

I didn’t paint them on my eyes,
strap them on for a pageant, play, or Halloween night
I didn’t tattoo them on the small of my back
to feel the sting of satisfaction of an image I can’t see

My wings,
are right between my shoulder blades
with spreading feathers like a warm hug after a long winter’s day
when you come home to the one that loves you
and they stoke the fire and stroke your cheeks
until they fall asleep at your feet

My wings,
have tips that stretch around the world,
brushing the cheeks of crying children
lifting the chins of the concerned, confused mothers
and smoothing the hair of the disheveled, drowning fathers

And it breaks my heart that
my wings,
have always been there
from the moment I clutched the bars of my crib
screaming my mother’s name in desperation
to the moment I released her hand
in a promise to be home at midnight
on my first date with a boy
who had smiled at me in Spanish class

And my wings,
were here when the same boys that smiled
turned to a new wind,
and took flight without me
My wings,
were here every single day I couldn’t roll out of bed
couldn’t make it on time
couldn’t call my mama back
and couldn’t find my **** way home

My wings,
have been waiting
for me to finally believe
that they’ve always been there,
and when the world feels like too much

my wings,
*wake up.

He loves me,
He loves me not...

She did not speak of it,

And yet,

Clueless with confusion,
Clearly, it was only an illusion,
...Or so they said,

Everyone just stood there and began to stare,
And just beyond their wonders,
From there,
Right there,
There was but a girl,
With her,
Lifeless face,
As her long, light-brown hair covered her place,
And not knowing if she was really there,
She followed my trace,

He loves me,
He loves me not,

Looking up,
I could only hear the whispers,
No matter if she spoke,
She was a passing of ways, but,
How could her voice come across from where I stay?

But that soft, gentle voice,
It became clear as it,
Ran through my ear,
As if there was nothing,
Nothing left to hear,
But the sweet, silent tone,
That ran through one,
And stayed in the other,
I knew she was there,

He loves me,
He loves me not

She would never shout,
She couldn't,
She wouldn't,
She only whispered,
The knowledge and the struggle,
With her words of complexity,
From the inside out,

But the truth lied within the fire,
And that fire never died,

As a part of her dexterity,
Her hands moved,
As the paper reached for the tip of the pen,
Her words then became as smooth as waves,
For those waves reached for her feet,
And the cycle repeats,

He loves me,
He loves me not...

as we told each other the greatest things we could think to share
we could all tell
the greatest things we held within ourselves,
strength
attitude
illness
recovery
friends
mom
loss
li­fe
grandma
love-
we know, now, what word the center of our being holds-
we had thought of each other as creatures that spun with the world
around the point that is our own being
everyone else a nameless, faceless being that turns and leaves in orbit
with no center of gravity, no word inscribed on their hearts
that kept them grounded to this earth
but we were wrong.
the world spun,
and we were all still there together.