It's been 1 month and it pains me to breathe and I'm trying to act like I'm okay but I can't help but feel all of my emotions at once. I don't know how I'll make it without you by my side. I took a chance with you and what was I expecting while bargaining with the devil?

It's been 2 months and it's like learning to walk all over again. I'm still shaky but I can stand on my own. I have a fear of falling and getting hurt but I do it anyway because the world doesn't stop for anyone and I need to get a move on.

3 months have passed and I have to pretend that I don't notice that you're happier than you were with me. You finally cut your hair like I begged you to and stopped biting your nails. I've taken up the occasional cigarette to rid the taste of you on my lips. It's nice to have something inbetween my teeth than your tongue and feeling the stress leave faster than you did. 

It's been 4 months and I wake up shaking and screaming your name until the echo soothes me. My dreams are haunted by you and I can't escape you in my reality. I've dyed my hair and changed mindset. I'm not the naive ***** I was before.  I don't let people walk over me and tear me to shreds.

Half a year has gone by and I'm still searching for something to fill this void. I miss you terribly and there's not enough drugs in the world to give me the high you gave me when we kissed. I saw someone who looked like you the other day and my heart froze. My initial reaction was to hide. I couldn't stand the thought of you seeing me and the look of disappointment in your eyes. I didn't want to hear how great your life has been without me.

Luckily it wasn't you.
Unfortunately it wasn't you.

Maybe I should come with a trigger warning
Or I should I warn everyone I'm going to pull the trigger

I gave you the key to my heart
And you lost it on the way to her house

Should I be prepackaged in rolls of bubble wrap
Placed nicely in a box labeled FRAGILE
wrapped in layers of caution tape?
Should I come with an instruction manuals and tagged "HANDLE WITH CAUTION"
To others I'm easily broken
But to me I'm incredibly durable
Maybe the only sign I should have is
WORK IN PROGRESS

"Was this love even worth it", she asked with blood shot eyes and a slight quiver in her voice "Is it better to never have loved at all than to feel the cold void of the one you love leaving?"

"Perhaps" he whispered "you need the winter to appreciate the spring and you need the drought to appreciate the rain. These things go hand in hand. It is better to say you survived than to have never tried"

You smiled at her and kissed her
like she was saving you
when we both know
you never needed saving
You held her hand tighter
than you held onto your pride
and we both know
what that means to you
When she walked into the room
it's as if everyone else was invisible
and we both know how you loved
the spotlight
She made you happy
She made you complete
Why couldn't I have been that for you?

I was a bookmark in between the sheets
saving the place where you used to be
but you're not here anymore
and it hurts