i used to think i was worthless without you
and sometimes it still feels that way
but ive learned to have love for myself
and it gets easier every day

unholy
women
bear
unworthy
children

an epidemic
of ghastly proportions

it is the plague
of this era

my sister
will not
shut
up.

i gave him every last thing that i had
and i never got an ounce of it back.

i spent too much time
looking out the window
never seeing through
the other side of the pane

you all spent so long
looking in at me through a window
never seeing through
my side of the pain

i plant
rose and sage
lavender and mint
poison ivy and nettle
i love my plants
but there are pests
in every garden

you just have to know how to get rid of them

because
i dont know
because i like her
she makes me smile
and shut up

back
and forth
on my little swing
of happy
and sad
of love
and fear
of hope
and rage
it's getting old
and i'm getting
dizzy, sick
once again

empty
staring
lifeless eyes
motionless
plastic
full of lies

i have discovered
after 16 years of life
i have been missing out
on the flavor orange.
i dont really like the color
but like, orange tic tacs?
they vibe.

i would like to let you know
that at one point in life
i had something to say
but these days it seems
all of those important things
are just so far away

i have nothing to say
right now, today
which is strange
because typically,
i never shut up

but today feels just...
i dont know
it feels like it should be quiet
it feels like today
we deserve some silence.

~
oh stars, how do you shine
on a night like tonight?
oh moon, you coward soul,
why do you hide?
~
sleep evades us,
we midnight thinkers
we conscious dreamers
us poets of the night
~
we that drag ourselves
to and fro
under the sun
we that welcome
miss midnight
and her quiet humdrum
~
we that smile
under the cool moon
under the burning stars
and cry out
hello, midnight!
~

happy colors
pretty pictures
am i bleeding
or just having fun?

it feels like you came with the cold
like suddenly you fell from the autumn sky
and warmed me up inside.
i wanted you for your fiery red
before i found myself like an addict,
craving you at the most inopportune times
craving your comfort
like a warm sweater in december.
i love you without the all sugar on top
even bitter and dry and burning my tongue
coating my throat until i choke
with tears on my cheeks.
i wanted you before i knew what it meant
but even after
you hold my mind hostage
keeping me breathing and warm.

i could never live without you.
not at all.

if you sit and stare
let your vision blur
bad things start to look
a whole lot prettier