"How do you love someone this broken?"
She whispers to the wind.
"How can someone this broken love?"
He asks the moon.

Fearful of the future,
Regretful of the past;
As for the present,
How long will this last?

I had love once,
a love that was meant to be lost,
a love once had that can never be again,
a love to be had.

To a love so great,
For a love so grand
Of love so gracious
until its not meant to be.

For love that doesn't last
is a love still had.

I cast you in me -
My story you don't know,
my questions you can't answer.

I cast you in me -
so, maybe;
you can understand

I cast you in me -
embracing everything you are,
accepting everything I am not.

I cast you in me -
forgetting the shadows,
regretting the days.

I cast you in me
as I wish
you cast
in me

"Hi there, Welcome!",
she exclaimed;
"Just passing through"
he whispered.

1.something to struggle with
2.something on top of me
3.something that doesn't leave my mind
4.something to control
5.something I can't stop counting

Here I am;
trying to welcome imagination,
asking reality to take a pause,
waiting for familiarity among sweeping glances.

I am stuck;
climbing up and down the cruel ropes life,
grasping for air & light,
succumbing to the darkness.

I wonder;
where the sounds come from,
when silence will come back,
searching for harmony among the noise.

And I am lost again;
in the vast vague plain,
through cycles of happiness & loneliness,
wandering all alone constantly risking flight or fall.

Will do:

anything
everything
something

To have:
you
us

...Again

lights flickering in the distance
what are you doing?
i lay awake
thinking, crying

a cold breeze passes by
do you think of me?
i'm wondering why
maybe, maybe

the sun is rising
will you be back?
sitting here hoping, no, wishing
i'm right on track

Thank you for letting me
              Go
                   Grow
                            Glow

we were lurking in the dark
we were breathing in bark

we were driving around town
we were always breaking down

we were dancing in the moonlight
we were out of sight

oh the stupid things we did

I, too, am lost
but without you,
it hurts even
to breathe.

f
    a
         l
              l
                   i
                        n
                               g
              

                                                                                  *as you are walking away

Aware, I am
of the burden -
it beats, it breaks
a silence.

Aware, I am
of the whispers -
it grows, it hums
to darkness.

Aware, I am
of the shadows -
it shines, it shimmers
to dawn

Aware, I am
of the nothingness -
it is me, it is I
until death

in the cold of night --
appreciating the ceiling
breaking down

i panic
seeing you,
hearing your voice,
feeling your touch;
just when i know,
the eyes deceive,
the ears mock,
the heart lies;
because nothing,
nothing is more cruel
than that,
that could have,
that should have,
that would have,
have been;
if only, if only
we waited,
we stayed,
we fought;
but we didn't,
we didn't.

the phone rings
she picks it up. it's nothing --
stupid expectations
ruin everything

Just a thought
scares inside
calm outside
What could be?

What is
eternal love?
What is
taking someone
for granted?

When the daily struggle to:
1. be relevant
2. do something with this life
3. have purpose
4. feel loved
5. find happiness

is pointless.

its overflowing,
its swelling,
to and fro the tide is moving,
and so does my heart.

Overwhelming it is
to read your writing
to peak through your life
to know that your struggles are real

Drowning I am
in tears bursting with the memories of you & I
in blood overflowing from wrists that you used to hold
in thoughts exploding over the letters you wrote

Paralysing it is
to have you near me when I am invisible
to hold you close when I no longer sense touch
to hear you scream my name when I am mute

Losing I am
from battling your past
from listening to what is right
from promising not to want you/*us

This is me giving it a try.
This is me wanting to turn back time.
This is me hoping that you will that you will stop making me cry.
This is me wishing everything is fine.

This is my pitiful attempt at wanting you back.
This is my stupid plan thinking you would maybe pick up the phone
This is my neurotic brain thinking you can fill what I lack.
This is my romantic heart feeling sorry for being alone.

This is me trying.
This is me breaking down.
This is me lying.
This is me leaving town.

I was so high I didn't recognise
the message you've always been saying,
the fire burning in your eyes
while I kept talking, screaming and crying.

Come on just last the year
are words I've been repeating,
pour a little salt we were never here
I hear you singing as you were sleeping.

Just come over and lie here with me
Were you lying?
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I was crying.

Goodbye, my hopeless dream*
I kept repeating, and
I'm trying not to think about you
until tomorrow morning.