We're drowning
Together at least
I try to move for the surface
But you pull my hand
As if to say it's too far
And for all I know
It might be
So I rest at the bottom
Right next you
I feel the air almost gone
And then you go
You betray me
You push me to boost yourself
Looked me in the eye the whole time
And I always will remember that look
Not sadness
Not regret
It was more like anger
Like you had won
And while you swam to the top
I watch you
As my air
Is completly
*Gone

In the end
We're all dead
So I mean
Whats wrong
If I get there
Just a little
**Early?

"I messed up"

Every

"I'm sorry"

Word

"I need to fix this"

You

"I can help"

say

"Let me apologize"

Feels

"Don't be like this"

Like

"I will understand"

A

"Trust me"

Knife

"I will find a way to control you"

To

"Talk to me"

The

"I love you"

*Gut

What would you like for Christmas?
A smile
Well why would you want that?*
Because it would make my day better
If I knew I made someone
Somewhere
Smile

The scars
On my legs
Are now white
...
And I'm
**Glad

I hope
That she
Will not
Have to
Deal with
The burden
Of a trouble
I caused
I hope
That it
Will all
Be thrown
Unto me
So that
I have
To carry it

And then there was me
A **** up
A mistake
A pile of them in truth.
So why do I still try to stand tall
Try to keep my head up
When I know they can all see through it.
Why do I treat others bad
Make people feel like ****
When I know how much it *****.
Why do I bother with life
Why do I bother…

For when will you see me
When will anyone see me
The real me
The me that deserves to be seen
The me that hurts people
The me that hates people
The me that is always late because she barely has the motivation to get up
The me that has let go
The me that's tired all the time
The me that can't stand mirrors because she can't stand herself
The me that can't see beauty in the world
The me that only sees the pain
The me that has nervous ticks
The me that is terrified of almost everything
The me that pushes you away because she's afraid to cause you pain
The me that the world would hate
The me that the world should hate
The real me.

that's right!

I was in the middle
of a poppy field
and several butterflies
asked me a million questions
and every answer ended with
I don't know
every four seasons
ended with snow
every little brush of wings
made my heart sing
and the years flow
Each season between Winter
moved beneath my ribs
so slow
Each little insect that alighted
on my pale, perfect skin
I slighted!
I slapped in outrage,
committing an unforgivable sin
Perfect little creatures
with perfectly small frames
perfectly fine bones
that never knew shame
Perfect little feet
that sat gently on my frame
I slapped them all down
one by one
thinking they should take the blame

hmm, where was I?

thats right*

I was perpetually drifting
in my own shame