Lilac seeps through my pores when you touch my skin
Your fingerprints along my arm scatter bruises
But lilacs trail behind
Reminding me that hurtful things
Do not last forever.

I saw your hands today
For the first time in what felt like forever

Those strong hands that held mine while I jumped over puddles
Caught me whenever I was about to fall
The hands that built houses and fixed everything --
Broken pipes, dead cars and crocodile tears

I saw your hands today
But they weren't really your hands
Just another dad's of another daughter's

But God, they reminded me of yours

Like you, words are delicate but abrasive.
They leave trails of kisses along your torso, but also they have a rampaged hunger for rattling your ribcage.
They have the tendency to manipulate wallflowered minds such as my own.
Words will fill you up with sunlight, letting you have a mere taste of sheer ecstasy, but will take that away returning you to the hollow vessel you once were.
Words are like past lovers who keep coming back to tease.

If I could, I would love you
A thousand times over

Under bridges and between alleyways
Wrapped in bed sheets
Reading the braille traced along
Your skin

Secret messages
Written to the strum of our heart strings

Your insides are crawling
Singing hymns of horror stories
Shrills of purgatory

Ghastly visions of the darkest memories that haunt your mind;

Her slender fingers
And chestnut eyes

The emptiness of her lungs and fullness of her palms

Mounted on the curtains of your eyelids

"I memorized your scent" you said as I walked into the room.
Looking through my lashes, I saw you smirking.
As our eyes met, I chuckled.
"Oh, really?" I replied.
I've memorized yours a while ago.
I've memorized your laugh and your smile.
But I couldn't tell you -- instead I just nod and keep the love I have for you
Tucked away in a jelly glass jar;
Safe,
Hidden away on a shelf in my bedroom.

You're a mountain --
A constant uphill of rough terrain
Your altitude gripping at my throat

An avalanche of
Your laughter leaving
Imprints of familiar glances underneath my feet

I'm just a silly climber
Discovering you once again,
My adrenaline rush

There are times where I want to dip my hand into the rippled parts of my thoughts  
And smear them onto white walls so you would be able to see the mangled images I have of you.
I am not able to sort you into categories like a librarian does with pastel colored spines on red-oak shelves.
No; you are the excuse “rules are meant to be broken.”
You are the contradictory between oil and water.
Coloring my perspective a different shade of grey like spilled contents of smoke engulfing the ocean that houses above skyscrapers
You said “One day I’ll come back, blistered hands and scraped knees.”

Your voice feels like a distant wind,
Blowing the nape of my neck.
I do not remember what your laugh sounds like,
But sometimes on lazy days, soft days,
A smile creeps my face,
And I remember the way you said my name
Gently,
Softly,
Oh, what a while it has been

My calloused palms are tired,
Of making those who have touched me,
Radiate;
Sins washed away underneath wrinkled paper,
Lasting forever.
Here you are soaked into sheets,
Like the memories hanging on the bedroom walls,
Of my mind;
Framed and frozen,
For eternity

Love of my life --
You have built me up, crafting a foundation of steady bricks made up of warm embraces and silent I love you's
The palm of your hand always gently caressing whatever is chilled by winter storms
Kissing me in the places I'm most insecure about; humiliation of uncertainty and unnecessary obscurity
I have never felt so close to another one's soul, jolting mine so much so
That I am left here, cheeks flushed and arms out,
Searching through miles of terrain barefoot
Waiting until I can see you in other places besides behind my eyelids
The ghost of your silhouette outlining where your head rests against my pillow
The echo of your laughter dances in the darkness of my bedroom
Memories of which I have only conjured up in the alleyways of my imagination

It's as if your love is imprinted
Along my cheekbone

Like little reminders of where I slept
Your pillow creasing against my skin

As I breathe in the city air
The thought about you cascades around my mind
The smell before rain I always find leading back to you;
The faint scent of your cologne runs with the wind

Autumn has come, my love
It's chilly outside

'Cancer survivor' they call me
But I don't understand how they're referring to the past when
I'm presently trying to survive

And I'm constantly asking myself:
Is this really living?

I want to put the love I have for you
Inside a jelly glass jar and seal the lid
So every time I pass by
I can take a glance at the feelings I have for you
Tucked away up on a shelf;
Safe.

My body is numb
Crushed up glaciers bob up and down my blackened blood
Leaving a stillness within my veins
A coldness that never was --

But I feel that there is a melting point,
A fire inside me, an ember beneath my ribcage

An overflow of nothingness and all at once,

Everything