Run walk.
Tough talk.
I’ve been ******* buzzed and just lost.

It was the cost of the game.
I’ve played it for days.
I crashed and I burned,
and then made it okay.

I’ve died alive, a life not lived.
I fought to fight, and not forgive,
my own **** self, to find whats missed.
To know myself, despite the ****.
I sit and shift, and think to give.
Learned knowledge with some context.

A mixed message with some content.
It’s cursed blessings in the nonsense.
Misconception of the process,
that's been leading me to progress.

I’m in need of a signal thats not so misleadingly dishonest.

I've been broken and could use a break.
I'm growing at a humans rate.
I’ve been focused on whats noticed,
not an overly useful human trait.

But it happens, and I’m glad, because
the passion of fads live, in the tracks that I have,
and the past creeps up faster than this passage is rapped-ish...

Before you know it, the circles complete.
Listen, have you ever heard of defeat?
Ever have to get back up to advert the repeat?
Learn is the word, and the hurt is the heat.
Sweat is the struggle, thats earning the key.
Turn it and see, a sea of could be,
waving me in and it surely can mean,
my curse isn’t sink, so I’m learning to breathe.

Every picture of you,
brings me back to a time,
where all things were fine,
The world was all mine,
and life was divine.

I wanted to share it with you.

Gained perspective,
from taking your pain, feeling strained.

As I bare it with you.

And to the naked eye,
You and I, are one.
Living art, so perfectly done.

But, that collection has attracted dust,
And it’s a must, for trust, and self reflection.
Perfection never met.
What lies in the message...

...is love. It's us.

Above, everything else I could think of,
One thing can never subside,
And that’s loving you.

Forever, never, and in between.
The middle of nowhere isn’t always where it seems.

Trust and be trusted.
Love and be love.
Pain, remain above it.
Haunted dreams of,
feelings of freedom.
Swimming in frozen seas.
You’re just a memory,
of an older me.
My unfinished poetry...

Coming out of lust, disguised as love.
I’ve come close.
Touched mistrust, envisioning decisions,
old ****** positions, and bubble butts
The goings tough.
I’ve been known to get going.,
knowing not where to, the story keeps going.
I never stop roaming.

Rolling, another one up, writing with the homies.
Stories of ******* it up, and the tales of glory.
I’m exploring options that they’re ignoring.
It's like if you’re bare, you’re boring.
Snoozing and snoring.
O'hare deported my last ounce of care
this morning.
A fare afforded to the very important.
If you never heard of it, sit there and ignore it.

Business minded.
I found that, the more ground I gained, the faster the climb is.
In this winning climate, my ****** is still undefined.
My rhymes like, fill in the lines.
Ad-lib these mad libs, to be killing the time.
I’m not feeling the times.
It’s like sit still or rewind,
straight chillin behind.
Cheap thrills, and refills
for the pills that I find.
Never ending cyclical vibes
Living the how, I got sick of the why’s,
and living with doubt.
Life is an imperfect present,
so I’m presently living it out.
I’ve earned where I am
so how can I go
giving it out, now?

Like a lightning bolt, on the last stretch, of the last lap, of Rainbow Road, in Mario Kart...





You leave me wondering how life could be so cold, I'm falling apart,
and recalling the start, of our endless summer.
Went from loving her heart, to trying to take it from her.
So I can make it tremor, shake and quake, and sever.
The debate of hate holds no weight forever.
Love doesn't wait for you to stay a beggar,
and showing up at my place, doesn't make it better.

You're the bad part, and that far from gratitude.
Your attitude has challenged you, Boo, and that's the saddest truth.
I was doing what I had to do.
You think no one can handle you?
You can't handle yourself that's exactly why you're mad at you.

Denial lifestyle.
You've been living for a while,
but haven't felt alive since the day you had your child.
He's not the only one that's damaged from you always acting wild.
Always on some ****, ******* and getting loud.

But if nobody listens,
the only thing missing from the vision,
is another unsuspecting victim to dig your petty grips in.
Hate with love mixed in
Mixed up, you missed out
On this, how?
The distance.

No more goodnight kisses, here's some goodbye wishes.
You've burned a lot of bridges, but I heard a lot about, these good fine fishes. No longer distressed.
You're just my dismissed, distrusted, mistress.

You don’t feel like love.

In the way you hate on,
berate on,
take a perfect situation, and make me wait on,
the inevitable downfall.

I haven’t felt one thing about love.

Not one time when I came to you,
did you take my truth, and make it soothed.
From kissing you, to shaking you,
from breaking through, to making due.

You don’t feel a ******* thing like love.

Were you born to be a boss,
or just work for one?

So lost inside a storm,
but the perfect one.

These verses run,
away from the 1st of months.

Bills are in the way of genuine workless fun,
but when the work is done, I’m left to my devices

Vices like some ****,
and everything that seems so **** exciting.

Igniting is the spark of curiosity
my velocity,
has got to be along the lines of something like hyp hop crisy.

Quite possibly,
everything you want to see,

open up your eyes and believe
achieve exactly who you want to be.

Do everything you can,
and he can do the rest.

In the hands of the most high,
if you seek success.

History is written one word at a time,

so I’m sprinting to the finish,
as I’m learning to fly.

People watch you ******* struggle,
start diverting their eyes.

Those claiming that they love you,
hurt the worst when it’s lies...

…no ones perfect, but try.

As the sun continues to rise, you continue to shine.

You'll find, that the devine of life is defined by this state of mind.

A brighter way of life.
It's nice. Any way it's sliced.

So roll the dice and find your inner light. Be light in weight, take flight.

As the sun rises, know that now is the time, to shine.

I’ll connect with you on the deepest of levels,
in the most common of moments.

That last second of eye contact,

will keep you up at night,

wondering why you haven’t ever experienced this before.

Even though I’ve always been here,

you have not.

So welcome.
This is my world and
 it’s the scariest of the safe.

The safest of the scary.
Trust is mandatory.
So how do you feel?

Not rewriting my history,
I’m literally illiterate.

Incredibly inconsiderate,
this hypocritical little *****.

Pitiful for a minute when,
it took me years to fiddle in,

addiction being sickness,
self acceptance well equipped with it.

My father always told me,
I was gifted as he lit his hit.

I doubt that I should blame him,
for years of being mixed up with,
*****, ****, and pills
that lead me to these distances.

The people that I miss the most,
are missing from my Christmas list.

They’re dead or still so livid with,
this monster that they’re living with.

Imagine how I feel,
feeling nothing when I witness this.

I can peel an onion
and not tear up with the sniffles when,
the layers are discovered to be
years of unforgiven sin.

I pray the lord forgives me,
but the price of his forgiveness is,
giving up the only life
I like, so what’s the difference?
****.

As anger grew inside,
I threw aside a written list,
of empty, broken promises,
scripted by lost innocence.

I’m known to ravage my grammar,
so no one can come get my answers.

I'm damaged,
a rapping savage,
an avid addict, with habits;

in the midst of a challenge.
I pass after I puff it,

I love it,
split it
and roll it
and hit it
like the snooze button.

I’m winning
hitting homes run with
this little written, its lovely.

Sprinting to the finish,
where I diminish the lucky.

Luck is some talent but backwards,
don’t progress with your *** first.

Face first into pavement,
payment for these spitting actors.

I'm not a "goodfella"
but my dinero is stacked up.

A real hero in snake skin,
with some venom thats backed up.

This is the release of a beast,
thats been unleashed with some passion.

I gather up all my madness,
and wear it in a dope fashion!

I’m flashing
like the lights behind my car as it’s crashing.

I’m just shooting at the stars,
with a pistol and laughing.

My luck is on fumes,
God knows how long it's lasted.

Now I laugh at the fact,
at the thought that i ever had it!

I'm a "knew it all",
who grew to fall.

Stalling out
when duty calls,

I doodle all
my plans on napkins
then I go and lose them all.

Thats what happens
when I mix jack with,
pills that make me moody y’all.

Benzos and some ***** calls
Calling back, to re do it all.

I'll teach you real mistakes,
it took a couple takes

to make me see
the weight of hate and
and lose it all.

if only…

it’s only..
after we lose everything,
that we’re free to do anything,

and many things sound
better than
the petty things

that I’ve seen
especially,

people with no heart or brains,
just a love for testing me.

My patience is so thin,
that I think it needs some bread to eat.

Waste is such a sin, going for the dough
I'll hold out until the death of me.

I’m hungry to the 10th degree.
Motive fueled by debt that needs,

attention.
I’m like dead at sea,

and set to sink.
So I’ll swim to stay afloat

like a shark, I’m stuck
in motion and the pace of the flow, oh no.

It’s crazy how relatable  
mistakes can be.

I'll put it all on the table,
you can take from me.

If you can’t take the heat,
don’t go putting out my fire.

The desires that I’ve had,
haven’t always been inspired.

Man, I’m way too drunk to drive,
stuck on the curb.

I’ve been swerving in my life,
bust out the herb.

Gotta find another woman,
luck out on her.

I’m not a poet
just a word choreographer...

Your problems when you got em,
will fuel the gossipers.

So profit off the topics
that are coming out of hurt.

The pain inside the struggle,
shaped this word philosopher.

Paint my pain in letters,
just to try and stop it first.

Then I let it fly
like hell-i-cop-ter-er.

I'm higher than the sky when,
the limits start from earth.

Winning by the minute,
watch my hits and clocks emerge.

Having too much fun,
time is gonna stop the verse.

My poetry has potency
I listen to my words

and know it's me
growing in the never ending curse,

of feeling and not showing it
a lesson never learned,

to let go of the echo
when I’m feeling so unsure.

Blurring every line
that I’m toeing up,

looking way behind
and like throwing up,

the person that I was
wasn’t old enough,

to see the stuff
that I’ve done and just slow it up,

I just really wanna hit him,
and tell him the fear is there,

because you let it be
and life won’t be fair.

I know that no one told you,
they were never there.

But here is where you are now
so you better care.

It’s okay to take a moment
hocus pocus on my focus,

theres magic in the habits
that have brought me to my lowest.

Growing by the moment,
yet stuck inside emotions,

the motions that I’m going through
expose a man thats soulless.

I’m inspired
by the desire thats inside of myself.

The fire thats alive again,
in every time that I've felt,

pushed down or not helped
man, he's put down on himself.

I'll throw down on this blunt,
that I only trust what I’ve dealt with.

Regrets are for suckers
with an irrelevant message.

You either move on,
or move into your own personal hell with,

your fears and,
the problems that will be keeping you helpless.

I'm sounding all dramatic,
but with rap such a weapon,

I’m just throwing my two cents into
the new fountain of youth,

Who’s in pursuit of a message
so here’s a perspective in truth.

Seek out every angle.
False facts do confuse.

So fall back on the proof,
and if you can’t then pursue.

Your life is in your hands,
just grab land and uproot.

Create the one that you want
theres one chance at this, dude.

If you can’t dabble in the dance,
you won’t advance or improve.

Don’t be the type to stand still, man.
I demand that you move.

I loved you...I really loved you.
But that "D" at the end of the word love,
is liberation.
Past tense freedom, from feeling dumb,
and tense and tired,
and numb and dense ,
uninspired love needed that "D", for proper punctuation.

Ending a love that faded,
with too many tries, wasted time, and de ja vu goodbyes.
It’s not just you I leave behind, it's the person that I was when we met.
Two of us, two years in,
in two years, we both grew, into fears
and far from respect.
That "D" at the end of the word love,
means love is possible again, just not with you.
And unlike just being friends,
or sticking with it until the end, of time,
I’m, being realistic, and finding truth.

Who made who so sadistic?
Angry and twisted, just 2 misfits throwing ***** fits.
Is true love truly so egotistic?
Asking a biased source, so of course it is, kid.
Passion ran it’s course, now my pain is specific.
A lack of reciprocation, mixed with a growing distance.
Because as I grew, I grew farther from you,
as I tried so hard to stay close,
in hopes, that if properly approached,
I can fix us both.
But I may have just been fixing something that wasn’t broke.

With time, you stole parts of my heart, soul, and mind that can never be returned.
A third of my heart is left inside lessons learned, so the next 3 words that come out of my mouth,
are “I loved you”.
And that "D" at the end of love,
is the only way that I can rise above, what we are, and call it was, cause it’s history.
And if I don’t learn from it, I’m doomed to repeat it.
In tune with what I need, in need to seek out me, and lose the we.
It’s true that I loved you, but the God's honest truth is I never loved you as much as I love me.

And I hope you understand how that could be.

I’ve been floating in purgatory.

Stuck in a rut.
Entrusting in the bigger story,
and not just the front.

If this is all that there is,
then where is the what?

Who is the how?

And why such a slump?

Will love be enough,
if I love me enough?

Enough to dust me off 
and build me back up?

I think it’s all of my questions,
that lessen hunt.

Second guessing the messes,
won’t clean them back up.

It’s time to grow up,
and own up to true me.

Whatever that means,
it means that I’ll see.

Blinded no more.

I’m parting the seas.

I know I can’t swim,
but don’t want to sink.

You can't love me, since you don't love you. But I love me, so I can't love you.

I fell in love with glimpses,
of images,
of what you were...
and what we could be.
Glimpses that blinded me.

I found myself looking behind,
to try to find that one time,
where I saw who you are.
Without the mask, and costume,
you’re convinced that you need to wear.
Convinced by your beautiful soul, smile and hair.
That they are not, and never would be enough.

Overcompensation is your image.

The reflection of perfection, in a flawed mirror.

But those glimpses of purity, were purely and surely
who you really are.
But if you don’t know it, how could I?
How could I see,
and feel,
and experience,
the you that "you" run away from.
So often, that it has to be bad for you,
and tire you out.
Why else would you run?
Have you become so accustomed to feeling numb,
that feeling anything else is feeling dumb?
and weird?
to seek out the flaws that make you unique?

Flaws is the harshest word you’ve ever heard
But the beauty I see in it,
and you,
are what keep me afloat during the stormier times.
Times from stories we don’t tell to anyone,
but remember as we lay awake at night.
Left wondering which secret story it was,
that sealed the deal.

Like a brand new prescription,
these glimpses of you give me hope,
that this time will be different.
I will pace myself, with this new addiction.
Far from a joke, but who am I kidding?
I’m the only one laughing,
manic and panicked.
Standing defeated, from believing I had it.
The comfort in pain just waiting for you to shine on through;
proves that if I’m not chasing her, and if I’m not chasing you,
I’m running in place, in a race that I’ll lose.
But losing you is not a loss,
thats just our love and what it cost.

The pain exchanged between us has a rate I’d hate to see.

I hesitate to demonstrate exactly what we used to be.

If history repeats itself, I’ll feel the need to seek some help.

Reached a peak and when we fell, we let go of what we held.

True intentions

in suspension.

Falling towards

another lesson.

Misdirected missed connection, lost within our misconception.

Is this it?

No needs are met.

Position on your knees and pray.

Tomorrows pain is lived today.

Truth is now a disguised fake

There in lies, the wait.

The stutter step.

New change of pace.

I met a person in a mask, who took it off too **** late.

In too deep, and never great.

Is this love, or my mistake?

It's blatant that we're never meant, a lovely fact we'll never face.

I quit my job while deep in debt
the devil made me do it
showed my boss mad disrespect
the devil made me do it
I claimed to be the king of the ******* south
the devil made me do it
retraced my steps when they found my house
the devil made me do it

Before I take a ****,
or even open my eyes,
I’m thinking of my trip,
to my lucifer guys.
They’re up for whatever,
and so down to ride.
Open my hatch back,
and down they slide.
Into the system,
these limitless prescriptions.
Looking for myself,
while i'm taking whats missin.
The depiction of myself,
is honestly twisted.
Honesty as foreign,
as **** is to christmas.
Sobrietry wishlist,
as soon as this **** hits.
There no stopping my little pitiful ***** fits.
I’ve heard I’m better sober
but I tried not to listen
I said that i felt broken
they said these pills would fix this.

I flashed my **** in a public street
the devil made me do it
I went streaking while i beat my meat
the devil made me do it
I called a nun an ugly freak
the devil made me do it
then we had fun in her backseat
the devil made me do it

It's the middle of the day
things are feeling hazy,
3/4s of my family thinks I’m ******* crazy,
the other quarter just thinks I’m lazy,
but thats okay because I may be.
I won’t know, until i try
so ice cold deep in my eyes.
Look for soul what do I find?
Another reason why I hide.
Why try hard to fall behind?
Running out of pills and lies,
refills will **** me in time,
but Dr. says I’m doing fine.
Am i though?
Are you alright?
Tell me dude
no need to fight!
Invite me back into your life,
the love and trust you used to like,
you threw away like useless lights.
Lighten your load, don’t hold tight,
to crutches just to walk upright.
You mumble and avoid your eyes.
As you go I hear you say,
I’m just doing this the devils way.

I told my dad I hate his guts
the devil made me do it
I lied and stole and broke all trust
the devil made me do it
I moved out quick it was a must
the devil made me do it
Then moved back in about a month
the devil made me do it

Man this moods the ******* worst.
I'll pop one more it couldn’t hurt.
Whats another?
The others worked.
I think too well, my stomach hurts.
I’m so ****** that I took too much.
I’m one week in, this script is rushed.
My ration game it ******* *****,
My rationale is love the lust.
While is lasts I'll have a blast.
But the devil gets his last laugh.
He’ll leave when I need him most.
Disappear.
A ******* ghost.
In my shell, yet so exposed.
Living hell, the devil knows.
What I need, and who I love.
He takes both, exchanged for drugs.
I stay afloat when I’m ****** up.
Living out an addicts luck.
Stuck inside the Devil's truth.
I did it cause he told me to...
I do it cause he tells me to...
I live it cause I always do...
I'm sick of what I’m told to do...
I do it cause he told me to...

A generation
of people
exposed to the evil
spoon fed to the children in time.

We grew up deceitful,
won’t budge till we need you,
to feel is to open our minds.

While different is scary,
and anger is bearing,
over a whole mess of pride;
we judge onto others
we’re scared of skin colors
and scarred by the media's lies.

Dumb content matter
a rung of the ladder
onto this corporate climb.
Cause who funds the TV?
The people who think we,
deserve all the scraps we can find.

The fatter the cat is,
the further the facts live
distracted from where they reside.
Statements redacted
the blames coming back,
full circle, with cyclical rhymes.

Who the **** do you think you’re talking to?
Going through the motions
you think you’re walking through?
Like lacking emotions,
makes up for the fact,
you make up your facts,
in hopes that no one crosses you?
Or shows you respect
that no one has shown you.
Cause you don’t show us.
I guess nobody told you,
being so low on life's totem pole,
in the sense that you’re light in heart and soul,
means that absolutely nobody,
could ever be below you.
So quit looking down, you’re bound
to find the older you.
The one you abandoned,
to show you’re a grower too.
Aren’t you proud now the whole world is over you?

I hear it in your words and see it in your eyes.
You’re weaker than you show,
"know it all" is your disguise.
Went to grow, to fall.
Taller hopes but not to size,
of the man that lives inside,
that heartless, aimless, shameless guy.
Not hard to shape the reason why,
he tries to shame when people try,
just to be themselves,
he needs some help,
with seeking decent vibes.
Addiction at it’s finest
find this person spineless.
Crying, and denying, asking
why in times of crisis.

Yo, just know man,
I mean it as i say it.
This the program,
get with it no debating.
I swear to ******* god kid,
I'll rearrange that face.
You’ve never seen this rage from me just yet, oh ******* wait!
Keep doing what you’re doing and
being such a ****.
Being such a *****,
is gonna get you hit.
I’ll hit you then I’ll quit,
pack my **** and ******* split!
Partaking in the shaking,
of your habit baby fits.
Complaining on the daily,
like its cute or something crazy.
Kid go find your ******* self,
before you tell me how things may seem.
Use that ******* brain,
for more than your berating.
Elevate yourself.
Hell won't be waiting on your "maybe".

First they like you cause you're different,
then they hate you cause you're different.
But it never made a difference,
I’m the same through all this distance.
There's different ways to live within this,
world that we have all been given.
My intentions never change,
because my brains been consistent.
Throwing blame until I listened,
to my problems cause they're *******.
No ones here to solve em,
so I got em till I ditch em.
Flying thru the rain,
just to prove that I’m still lifted.
When I'm shifted into gear,
I get rear ended by resistance.
The proof is in the pudding,
Jello stole my whole existence.
I lost my ******* way,
the day that broads became consistent.
Applause for all the twisted,
they make art without restrictions,
The way it’s meant to be, you see,
the system loves conditions.

Comfort is a privilege,
without it we would pillage.
In the ******* streets,
unleash the beast of the whole village.
If you’ve got a hole then fill it,
with **** or ***** or pill it.
Or if you’re feeling soul,
then go, re up on all your sinning.
Confessions just to fix it, and
lessons you just missed it, fam.
I guess it never  *mattered,
cause the battles never finished, ****.
I started as the villain
and got caught up in the *****’s plan,
that'll change your whole perspective
on this introspective image, man.
I'm into lots of women so I've learned
that I can listen.
But choose to throw the words that hurt,
while working like a cynic.
Business it was booming,
kept it moving with no limits.
Man, my lifes been like a movie,
**cause this this truth seems like its fiction.

Experiencing love is the greatest feeling that I have ever known.

But the deterioration of it has never been far.

From family to lovers it leaves me in the moments of happy, for which I am grateful.

But when it isn't what it was, I'm stuck,
without a map, and with lost bearings.

Caught in between feeling meaning, and knowing there is none.

Feeding fuel to the fire,
of use and abuse,
that we're told are fun.

Love is a drug.

The side effects are glee, security and madness.

And all are misleading.

At the end I'm left pleading, with myself.

Never to do it again.

Never to let myself, let myself.

But I do.

Because I'm addicted, to the love I almost had.

Nonsense.
No sense.

The essence of low friends,
in places
you mistake for a shade of grey that you know steams,
from the black and white of compromise,
that satisfied your wild side,
but at brighter times the child cries,
from inside your mind that amplifies;
your mistakes, because they're special.

Aren't they special?
they're unique and defeat is something to revel.

So the focus is a must,
in lies we must trust,
the instinct to sit and think
and adjust whats unjust.
Disgusting is love,
that is crushing the truth
of whats to be done, now the blame is on you.

If something is wrong,
to run,
is the fun of being crazy.
Insanity is trying this whole thing on a maybe.
Maybe it'll change,
maybe I will too.
Acceptance is scary,
but scary is you.

I look with worried eyes, at social Vines, of flashing lights and a lack of rights.
Human compassion is lacking where it needs to be.
Hate feeds off of hate,
but if thats all it takes,
then love should come so easily.

Bashing in windows.
Spraying with mace.
Choking to death.
Eliminating race.
Classes are gone,
So classless mistakes,
are now made daily
at the hastiest rate.

We’re starving and hungry for the tastiest taste,
of what has become the most delicious
most suspicious,
vicious,
fishy,
repetitious,
superstitious,
vision named freedom.

It's naive to think we’re free when all that we see,
is a sea of beings not being one thing,
and that’s free.
When was the last time you felt it?
And we’ve been given a life long song and dance of "whoever smelt it dealt it".
So if you took the feeling of now and held it,
bottled it up and shelved it,
you would open up to find your mind in decline.
This moment was better
while laters behind.
Thats the path that we’re on
but we have control.
We’re not egos and clothes,
we’re people of souls
We're humans of thought
Not students of hate.
Evil got a head start,
but now truth is in the race.
And if truth is in your face,
and you choose to look away,
then get used to the abuse
and not confused at truce-less fates.
The pre action of action is thinking to act.
I'm thinking that actually we’re ready to snap.
They’ve bent us too far,
for us to go back.
The past is a place where patterns attack.
And people are put
no matter the facts.
Police are afoot
demanding the last,
of freedoms they take them,
and **** them with gas.
A historical scene on Kentucky blue grass
these colors don't bleed,
yet we see they fade fast.
We’ve exceed the need,
to keep things intact.

Don't you know that when it goes your way,
you're supposed to take the moment and not throw away,
the lessons in the seconds because I know one day,
you’ll be living way too deep in the lowest place.
With no where to go,
and you’ll show the hate,
the struggles and mistakes on your lonely face.
If your mother didn’t bake such a phony cake,
then you could’ve ate it too,
but you chose to waste.
And you chose your fate.
So you can go and wait,
for a bone to be used, and then thrown your way.
You abuse the whole road to the holy gates.
You can never throw me cause I'm always great.
And since you live below me then your home is grave.
I'm sick of your bologna,
man I'm only steak.

*A cut above the rest of the *lowly snakes,
hated by most for these coldest traits.

I want to explore what is beyond the minds eye,
beyond what I can find.
What defines being alive.

I want to unlock closed doors,
and explore whats behind.
A star destined to glow,
will find a way to shine.

The re build can be better,
than original structure.
Wisdom and patience reduces the wonder.
If they don’t have reaction,
then why am I asking?
Knowledge is power,
so answers are lacking.

I think so I want.
I want so I get.
If it wasn’t so hard,
I’d hardly commit.
This is my life,
and I’ll never forget.
I'm given this life,
so I can go **live.

There's beauty in these letters,
that build the words I write.

My soul is born again,
when my heart isn't feeling right.

I find myself inside the words,
and create these worlds at night.

These words are me,
to a tee,  
but to define me in a rhyme;
never have I done it,
but I do this just to try.

He forgot how to help himself.

He forgot how to love,accept,and respect himself.

He now loves feeling his pain,
and wishing things were still the same.
Exchanging brains,
for drugs with names,
that will land him under the ground,
or inside of a cage.

It’s a crime to wait,
for life to take,
the righter path,
with a mind that hates.
At night he’ll pace
his mind will race,
yet sit in place,
designed to waste.

Why does he do it?
So self destructive.
He claims he isn’t an addict,
but isn’t above it.
The future is bleek,
so no need to recover.
A bleeding heart bruises,
and is misleading in color.
At the moment before,
the moment he snaps,
and right before he’d lose it,
*his music *oozes from the loosest of nooses.

Her mind is like a universe.
She's a soul,
but still a human first.
To be whole,
she must grow from birth.
Till her last day,
she's here to learn.
Here to earn,
and not return.
The bad, she's had.
The goods in turn.
Her heart could burn,
and shouldn't work.
I’ll spark the flame,
it couldn’t hurt.
The stars don't fall,
they shoot at earth.
I'm the future of what’s new to her.
Beauty oozes from her humor,
but she’s a rebel just like Lucifer.
She’s the Devil, level nuclear.
Her presence, omnipresent.

*Represented by a ruler fueling
love* like it’s a weapon.

I’ve been speaking in we,
when whats shrinking is me.

The old need to believe,
has now exceeded it’s peak.

I do not achieve,
because I’m still stuck on repeat.

It’s true that love is forever,
to the utmost degree.

If love is forever,
then how long will I try?

And try as I might,
it’s the downfall thats divine.

On the bottom of rocks,
you’ll find my villainous mind.

In the past I reside,
but the future is mine.

As I’m speaking as me,
I have need for reply.

So it’s caution I heed,
my heart bleeds by design.

A bogus nation.

That's known to throw the faces,

that they don't  like
inside the lowest  places.

Prisons and graves  overflowed with
wasted,
potential.
Mental forces undergo  no changes.

If we don't like it,
then we fight with rage.

In exchange for our freedom
we might die today.

The sun always comes out on a brighter  day.

Ignited is the spark that inspires  flames.

The fire is alive and your minds  ablaze.

It’s hard to feel alive,
when your life is caged

Released and unleashed this is my  domain.

My disdain for you is unkind but hey,
we’re living on a globe where hope  became,
worse than smoking  dope
or slanging  cane.

But thats the way she goes,
nope I won't complain.

But I can **** the giant
and overthrow the slain.

I look at you and see.

a person look at me,
unsure of what she’ll be,
she assumes her eyes deceive.

Won't listen to her vision
Misconception for a livin.
Her perception isn't vivid.
Opinions become twisted.

Confused but she believes
that she’s better as a we.

Singular is scarier,
than living life naive.

Oh the things she could achieve,
success and reach her dreams.

*But dreams start *inside that heart worn on your sweater sleeve

I* don't have much to say...

Which is the hardest part of all.

The bigger the love
the farther I fall.

This is a stumble,
wont crumble at all.

Fumbled a bit
but recovered the ball.

You couldn’t look me in the eye
or try a goodbye?

You said that it’s too hard
and you know you would cry.

But what about me?
What if goodbye was a need?

You took it all away
with all of your greed.

And you know that it’s true,
it’s all about you.

If not,
then the tears,
will make their way through.

I don’t hate you,
but I'm starting anew.

**You took my goodbye so I bid you adieu.

Everyone*




Needs to hear that *it's going to be okay sometimes.


And it **will.

I take this.
I take this god given brain that I love to hate to live with,
and think so hard.

So hard, that I can't turns into I didn’t...

...and never did.

And because of that.
Because of the insane way I chose to use my brain,
I never could.
I only can’t when I take away the opportunity.
Because it’s there.
And chances come and go.
Not always tangible,
but absolutely obtainable.
In a world where a word like freedom,
is waved in front of my face;
like a donkey, pulling a wagon,
walking towards the almost never worth it satisfaction,
of the carrot.
Told that the work, and struggle, is worth the Earth's crumble,
and that ***, is willing to bear it.

Balanced*
on the *fence
of common sense
and my **insanity

The way that I know, you're knowing me.
Was the older me.
That old is over, see.
There's a few mistakes god needs to oversee.
I’ve done such bogus things.
I repent in the words of my poetry.
Refocusing.
The direction of a reflected
soulless me.
Misguided and couldn't hide it,
I wasn't fighting,
the vices holding me,
back
and whats sad is that these manic laughs,
as ecstatic as they come,
stem from the fact
that I'm feeling like crap
sad sap, too fast to play dumb
sad-sack ,
trapped rat
thats numb to the things that once would make me run.
Rock bottoms not a problem for my partna
who’s drug drama and habits are this fun.
These rhymes that I've designed inside my witty mind
redefine what is brand new.
The reflection of perfection,
the best is my profession,
and the rest belongs to you.
The professors teaching lessons,
of transgression in repressive,
unimpressive
back road routes
perspective is subjective but
effective in selection
and reflection of the truth.

Truth.

I’ve seen a fiend inside me,
who seemed destined to be,
so attentive and aggressive at manipulating,
these doctors and these nurses
whom when they see me,
they lock up all the pills,
and then they swallow the key.
But I moan and I groan to own the script that I seek.
Let insurance pay my habit,
now my checks spent on ****.
it might be a life without light,
but to me,
its alright i’m just fine
so stop worrying please.
If I need some help then you know,
you'll hear it from me.
But until then just chill,
while i **** these zanies.
Once I’m gone then I’m gone
and i know that I’m wrong,
coping with prescriptions just to string me along.
Cause addictions a sickness,
and a big ***** to live with.
Your mind plays these games,
and fools you with tricks which,
say it’s okay,
and it starts to convince you,
you cant walk without your crutches,
when life starts to trip you.
And thats when it hits you.
The fact of the matter.
Which gets even sadder.
The higher I was,
the lower the ladder.
The lighter the buzz,
the chase even faster.
Used to smoke bud,
like some just for laughter.
But moved onto drugs,
that sent my life down to crapper.
So i just flushed,
and rushed in a new chapter.
Not saying I’m perfect,
but it works if you work it.
I wouldn't say I’m an addict, just a curious person.

Paper.
Is canvas so white,
I ruin what it is every time that i write.
Or create what it had the potential to be...art.
So she breaks me down.
Uncreates someone that had potential to be...smart
but dumbed down,
lower than the ground,
to appease his main squeeze.
Everytime she came around,
it was like he lost his ground;
and with lost ground comes broken dreams.
Broken hearts and unspoken things,
that needed to be said.
I cant believe the things I've heard or seen.
*******
**** kisser.
*******.
used to love her,
now I miss her,
every hot summer.
Every cold winter,
to hold so close.
Like a puzzle we would fit we could sit nose to nose,
and not say a word,
not move one muscle,
we would still find a way to get us into trouble.
The better we were,
the worse that we got.
However clever our harsh words were,
we always worried a lot.
When things got too good,
we hurried to stop.
And blame got very,very blurry a lot.
Our own worst enemy.
Or are we?
Who are we?
We’re not we.
We are you and me.
Separate as could be,
ill be a,
you and you be z
because you see...
we were a canvas so white.
You ruined what we were
with the habits and the fights.
Now we is a past tense term,
that isn't spoken
because its known when,
brought up
the subject takes a wrong turn.
And things are said that were never meant.
Ego’s tongue spits out its two cents.
But more than two or three or four,
so many cents we’re talking dollar stores.
So many ups downs all arounds,
peaks and valleys,
so many smells and sounds,
that equal you.
Like a sequel taking me back to the first time,
the very first case of some stomach butterflies.
But now i feel empty,
so empty down inside.
If you hadn’t marked this canvas,
this blank white canvas of mine.