they told me that
i am a pessimist
that i should wear
my positive hat
and not think of malice.

i am very sure that
every pessimist
were once an optimist.

they went through
things that made them
lose hope
and lose their courage
to bravely trust and believe
again.

from the tiniest bit of betrayal
to the biggest act of treason.

i believe no one is born a pessimist.
they were all once, optimists.

hope may be a superficial belief
but it's not as fake as you think it is.

there's a lot of questions
regarding my heart
that remained unanswered.

is it made of fragile glass
or strong diamond?

is it fixable?
hammering nails
and drilling screws in
or we just glue it all back together?

what colour is my heart?
definitely not white.
is it red?
jet black?
or merely grey?

is it beating
or maybe sound i've been hearing
were the marching parade
to respect the death of my heart?

is it broken
or it was never complete?
but then *if it's broken, how can it still beat?

From Popularity…
              (comes danger)

From popularity comes hazard,
Risk of peril,
Boy or girl at danger’s call.
From anonymity comes shelter:
No one knowing you at all.

Every country loves its tourists -
Bridges, tunnels… easy access;
Weapons, drugs,
Lawbreakers, thugs:
In short, new foes;
New secret foes that no one knows.
From popularity come woes.

Self-imposed expansion low.
Moderation is the answer,
Modesty the balancer
Of friendliness
And isolation.

From Popularity 4.17.2017
Our Times, Our Culture II; Definitely Didactic;
Arlene Corwin

run from the cat
the light the giants
run from anything
not everything
is trying to **** you
but any of it could
there's enough crumbs
on the edges to survive.

an ode to what I am not
convenient
or skinny
organized
or welcoming
an ode to what you beg of me
all of these things I cannot be,
I will not be not ever
forever is a long time
to spend bending
your image of me
into something
that fits in your wallet
an ode to what I am not
gentle, rose colored china
sunday mornings with herbal tea
your hope or step in your 12 to get up
a beam of light at the edge of blackness
an ode to what I do not possess
healing powers like some 2,000 year old man
you pray to every day and beg I do the same
patience for another human who whats to change
who and what I am not
so I can play the part
I did not even audition for
an ode to what I am taking
back, my life
all of me, front and center
of the floor

In my arms
She felt so light
Her body against mine
Her head on my shoulder
This place feels like home

Home
This night feels exactly the night before you left
Ambitious,furious, hot yet addicting
I missed this for years

Remember
When after that night you sloped.
I burned my bed down that day
And bathed in the ashes of my broken dreams
It feels meaningless now

Alone
Yes alone I went down to hunt down
My Incessant desire to touch your skin
To caress and pull you closer
I thought the desire died
But it was subtly breathing deep within

Oh you
Your smell is still the same
It still seduces me
It still captures me through and through

I will never get over you

I peer out the porthole into the chaos of the storm,
Disorder, my sole companion

Blue waves crash along the jagged rocks
sprays of melancholic gloom
the wind howls
sounding like the ghosts of past memories
decayed wooden decks rotting from
the salty air
a wailing gust originates from the rusting iron of the ships hull
a hex is placed on it’s journey as the shadowy vessel tears through
the gloomy waters of its past

The past is only a memory,
as I find myself once again in the company of madness

The bird was there, standing alone
Singing a song, closer to a moan
I knew something was wrong
It was obvious, I know that song
It was the song of death
The melody of the last breath
I wanted to do something
I wanted a change of situation
I didn't know what to do
No idea for a solution
I just sat there silently watching
Watching a fallen bird, burn down to ash
It hurt, I felt the pain, the heart crash
Why is reality so evil ? Why am i so ?
Can't I feel empathy ? nothing to do ?
I put a step forward then a second
Step after another arrived in a second
Released my emotions in a word of truth
Gave it all out, my fountain of youth
I expressed hope, expressed love
Expressed everything blindly, in despair
I wanted the bird to live, express it's flair
I wrapped my hands around, it felt it's warmth
walked all the alley back and forth
Lost my rhythm felt the bird was lost
Slowed my pace, couldn't look at my hands
I no longer felt the pulse, shiver down my spine
I closed my eyes, tried to believe that all was fine
But nothing was right, i had commited the crime
It was all over, there was no more time
I called out to the sky, wished i be heard
I called, was a desperate try to bring back the bird
I sat waiting for the reply
It came moments later, i heard a cry
It came, this is the call from the sky
It felt blurry at the beggining couldn;t understand
But the truth was awful i was alone in a barren land
I heard my echo, thought it was hope
It was the voice of despair
Death ? no way to repair
it said it clear: Leave the bird alone
You have no power to change the past
You are weak, you will someday last
The bird is gone now, live with that fact
Try not to forget, for memories are your identity
Sit, Watch, listen and learn: build your personnality
The bird is a mere experience between a thousand
Life is still full of surprises you will have to withstand
Life is gift, you either accept or deny
Life is the bird, with whom you refused to fly

By: GuessWho....... 24/02/2017