Beyond the blurred and blank images
Or a thousand faces like yours
In my dreams I never lose myself
Finding my way to your door

I don't use a map or a compass
I don't need manmade directions
Because of your soul I follow a guide--
A light of constellations

Even if I can't see you
Even if I lose my sight
The heart can only truly see what the eyes don't:
That it's better to love you in the night

a book with ripped pages
a recipe without spice
*** without love is hardly enticing
because you don't feel the emotion pour onto your skin
with every breath and he doesn't laugh with you when you
crash heads, he might call your name but it doesn't shake your bones
knowing that he loves you for everything you aren't;
*** without love is empty,
pleasing, merely, but empty,
it's an impulse move to fill the void
you deny is even there.
You faked your happiness for a year,
and now your ******* on a strangers couch
because you're afraid to admit you don't like *** without love,
you're independent now and it's all you speak of
so you don't need that kind of connection that warms bellies
and chills skin, you just need a strangers bed to sleep in,
right?

Until you can't sleep at night because you know that *** when you aren't in love is an act, one that will never bring the feeling of sharing yourself with someone you love back.

Only our light shines now
Within the gloom that has consumed our lives
One day, our light will be consumed too

Let's not talk about it
Let's not find out when
Our time together will come to an end
And our paths diverge

So, Let's Live Now
Let our last kisses
Be the sparks that light the way
Before life blows our flame out

I have tasted
the nectar of love
that spills out of wildflower stems
and creeps out of caves into
light

It sleeps in every vein
I can track on my arm

It is sweet
like aging wine

Warm
like summer sunrise

Loose
like my father's chuckle
like the crescent
always dangling
on my mother's lips

But for the life of me
I can never hold it
long enough
to remember what it feels like

i am the 1 am drunk text
i am the family pictures popping up on  your newsfeed
i am the polaroid at the bottom of your desk drawer
i am the modern baseball song that you can't seem to skip
i am the candy wrappers in your car door
i am the cd stuck in your car radio that is just me singing a song i never should have written for you
i am the way a dorm room bed is always just big enough
i am the draft of a poem that was never just right

and

you are the space between the lines of the poems that aren't fixing anything
you are the dried up corsage in the back of my closet
you are the third step on the stairs into the basement where i swear i can still see stains of mascara on the carpet from november 8, 2015
you are the post card i never sent
you are the post card i sent but never should have
you are the phone calls i can't make
you are the nightmares i have where we are both running from something not clear to us


now that i've set the scene are you sure you want to delete your audition tape?
are you sure that your first try was good enough?

I miss you
I don't know why.
We talked yesterday

Yes,
I remember how your eyes sparkled
Two rings of a bistre fire
Shining with a midnight's glow
I remember how I was lost in them

I wish that your hand was still in mine
How I wish I could pull you close to me
To share just one more moment with you
Instead of wasting away
With the night's howls as my only companion

Maybe, I just miss your comfort
No matter
I could use your warmth right about now

Comfort
Yeah, I miss that

Despite how it looks, I forget about you a lot,
I think I do, at least, I've gotten better this year.
This semester took me for a spin, I threw up everything,
but I threw out nothing, just tucked away our belongings,
they gather dust but they wouldn't burn so I kept them,
I've gotten better this year, I think I have at least
It's funny how in March I thought I was dying and
since then I've been using the same sheets because
they smell like you.


You are at the bottom of my cup,
you are residue I didn't finish up,
you are left behind,
bitter taste in my mouth,
you are what I complain about,
but I still make time every day,
to drink until I'm sick,
just to make sure you're still there,
and to feel just as pathethic

i know we're in the same book.
but yet to be on the same chapter,
waiting for the other
to be on the same page.
i'll wait for you.
not like a hopeless romeo,
and definitely not like a juliet.
i'll wait for you.
even if it takes us
volumes,
sequels,
prequels,
and even a different author,
for us to meet.

I'm higher now because of you
& the lows subside because of you
My feelings are fresh, senses renewed
I woke up smiling because of you

Sunlight is brighter in these eyes
That have since been stolen within your gaze
Music is sweeter, the mundane is song
The air around is charged all day long

Nothing makes any more sense
But the unknown is no longer the enemy
It is an acquaintance of mine
I shake its hand with eagerness

I look to the stars
I confide in the darkness around
In whispering moonlight I hear your voice
I am filled with warmth

Wherever it comes from,
Wherever it's going
Is not for me to ascertain

I only wish to keep this warmth with me
As long as it sees fit to soothe

I only ask you to warm your hands
Interlocked within my own

I long only to learn how well they fit
In between spaces I can create for you

I want you to teach me,
I am willing to learn