i saw you in my dream
your face it made me scream
i woke up drenched in tears
having to face all my fears

your blood shot eyes
your piercing cries
your cold blood
your mean love
hands around my neck
i am begging for death
you never let go
you want me to know
what pain feels like
**i deserve a painful life

too afraid to admit you ****** up
so you carve the apologies on your skin
hoping that somehow the pain outside
will help **** the pain within.

I like the way you think -
sinking your own ship just to take a drink.
Soiling yourself in order to keep everyone else from scraping you clean.
I find it pretty keen -
drowning in a sea of air and floating on the steam . . .

It's disturbingly nice.

By that I mean,
if our links got intertwined we'd find ourselves in quite a knot;
Running through red lights just to make the others stop.
Brushing up on legal terms to confuse all of those cops.
Boarding over doorbells just to force our guests to knock.

I find your broken logic beautiful.
I think you're perfectly top-notch.

Hair entwined upon a frogs throat no words escape,
Phrases silenced upon glyphs her fingers shift.

Skulls oculus vacant onyx blighted in introduction
Or demise, unseen  glyphs taint your sight mine.

Hair warped on twigs embrace, like a servant I
Usher your will entwined on fingers legacy.

Soul is charcoal in my thoughts no purity, nevermore.
I am the shadow lingering with string behind the door.

there are too many hours of the day that I am awake for;
twenty-four is a number I have come to dread.
I hate that I'm rolling around for hours and hours,
watching the colours shift across the sky
from one agonising hour to the other
when I'm trapped in this body, this brain, this mind,
this me.

i hate the fact that an empty echoing house
is all that I have to come back to
and that my worst nightmares
are my every day realities;
just me, awake, all day, all night,
all alone in this ******* world.

i hate that the warm body and warmer soul I want to make love to
in whose arms I want to spend every night -
wants nothing but return to the comfort of his own bed,
leaving me to battle another ****** night
with the demons that devour my brain.

i hate that for every twenty seconds of sleep I sneakily ******,
i'm made to pay through weeks of wakefullness
that settles heavily into my muscles and my bones
leaving me aching and restless, making survival
a struggle and not a goal.
I hate this.
there are too many hours of the day that I am awake for -
**i want to be awake for none at all.

every day, speak a little less
reduce the number of words you say from half to
ten less, and then none at all.

Don't forget to be soft.
Kiss your mountaintop goodbye for
one last sunrise and descend
into the night
where it's quiet
like you should be.

one by one, pull back towards yourself
the orbs of energy you've left
bouncing around you in the
atmosphere.
be their chalice
one last time
and watch them burn out.

and when you're reduced to
dying ashes and deathly whispers
a strong voice will suddenly falter
and they wonder -
*didn't we once know a ... ?

sometimes i wish
you'd see beyond
the color of my eyes
and the cloth wrapped around my head

i wish you would
think of me as an individual
put away my appearance
and regard me as a person

my thoughts matter
my ideas aren't all bad
i have opinions
and i choose to speak my mind
if only you would
listen to my words
and try to comprehend what i'm saying
rather than focusing on my accent
and the way my lips curve when i speak

the cloth on my head
does not rid me of ideas
it does not limit my mental capabilities
it does not lower my tolerance
have a debate with me
spark a conversation
instead of complimenting my smile
compliment my mind
instead of assuming that my beliefs are enforced upon me
ask me what i believe
ask me what i value

tell me what you base your morals on
question me
give me counterarguments
talk to me
instead of staring at me
and making biased assumptions
already concluding who i am
and where i come from
before you've even
said hello!

i am not just the color of my skin
i am not just the size of my thighs
i am not just the design of my clothes
i am not just the price of my purse
i am not just the pattern of my headscarf
i am not just the length of my nails
i am not just a body

i am a mind
i am a heart
i am a soul

i am my theories
i am my thoughts
i am my perceptions
i am my opinions
i am my viewpoints
i am my objectives
i am my purpose
i am my outlooks
i am my intentions
i am my reasons
i am my perspectives
i am my choices
i am my principles
i am my ideologies

i am a thinking, feeling, living, stimulated, motivated, inspired being

i've got a world inside of me
take a look see
before you choose to pass judgment on me.

I live in my own world
Inside of this cruel world
Awaiting the next world

©