A bottle of sin
A glass of foolishness
A taste of revenge
A smell of hate

A time of madness
An awful night
An hour of ignorance
A fearful gate

A wasted chance
A pause in dream
A shaded mind
Here comes your fate

This scripture was taken from the chapter
of the Bible where Jesus was dealing with
the greatest hypocrites to ever walk the
earth. This is from Matthew Chapter 23.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that
which is within the cup and platter,
that the outside of them may be clean also.
Matthew 23:26 KJV

I was an alcoholic.
I drank 'till I was blue.
I liked the feeling of *******,
I was an addict, too.

I was raised an atheist
Disallowed from church
So my spirituality
Was really in the lurch.

I knew there was an answer
that wasn't in the buzz
I just really didn't know
what that answer WAS.

I tried to do TM.
I went overboard, you see.
I even tried the SRF
and Scientology.

I went to many programs
Treatments and AA.
Rehabs by the score
the pain did not go away.

Finally I found one day
a precious little book.
Someone left it on a bike stand
I went to have a look.

It was a LITTLE BIBLE!
Just the book of John
I went to read the scripture
of the page that it was on.

Someone opened it on purpose
to what I read right then,
how Jesus took some deckhands
to be fishers of men.

I had a funny feeling
like someone touched my arms
I broke out in goose flesh
though the day was warm!

I decided to try Jesus.
Church two times a week.
I guess it was just a prelim
for what I was to seek.

I never did find Jesus
in the sanctuary there.
Some had base hypocrisy -
I was in despair!!!

But I did recieve
something of great worth
I learned to read the Bible
the greatest book on earth.

So one day I was writing
a poem... imagine that!
I found what I'd been missing
right there as I sat!

In this poem I spoke about
how an addict came apart
cried out to our Savior
and
ASKED HIM IN HER HEART!

That time there weren't just goose bumps
I knew I wasn't saved!
It was like an elephant
had walked across my grave!

I went outside to smoke.
I was 3 months clean.
But I still smoked cigarettes
If you know what I mean.

A nagging voice buzzed in my ear
you're just a stupid joke.
You still drink your filthy beer
and on top of that you smoke!

Well. I was sure considering that
and other things as well.
I figured if I used again
I could end the hell.

I would go there anyway!
Wasn't that a cinch?
But another voice came to me
it's power made me flinch!

It said, yes, you smoke your cigarettes
and that isn't good,
but the ******* makes you do evil
is that understood?

So break those filthy cigarettes
I'll show you. You'll break free.
Flush them down the toilet
then come talk to me.

Well, I didn't argue.
I did just as He said.
Then I asked Him

in     my
HEART
and
v

prepared myself for bed.

But as I did lie there
I felt like, I don't know,
like things were hanging onto me
and did not want to go!


But I fell deeply asleep.
Because go they did
they were things demonic.
Inside me they had hid.

When I rose the next morning
I felt so rested... GOOD!
I wanted just to sing!
Wake the neighborhood!

I went outside to see
if I had not thrown away
all of the long cigarette butts
for a puff or two that day.

I found out something else.
It was really wierd!
All cravings for those cigarettes
HAD JUST DISAPPEARED!!!

And there were a lot of things
quite different about me.
I had been delivered.

JESUS SET ME FREE!!!


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 18, 2014

I keep my head down and my mouth shut
You speak only when spoken to , I have nothing to say
I cleared the table and head into my room I fall asleep
I hear him approach the bed
I'm so warm, my blanket is soft
His eyes are gray with a hint of green, cinnamon colored hair
I have memorized the top of his head ,every crease every hair
His face is thin, I think he is tired
He smells musty , but he always taste sweet
I hate him but I don't want him to leave
As he takes off his pants he places my hand on his man spot
I was so unsure what to do with it
  I'm getting better he is a good teacher
I roll it between my fingers it's warm and growing
It always wants a kiss my mouth is small I do my best
His hands hold my head tight it hurts
I get so confused when he makes these sounds. He sound's so angry. When he is done he leaves me for the night
I lie rubbing myself against the pillow Confused to why do I feel like this?
My heart beats so fast and I wonder if Daddy will be back?
He is a good dad we go outside and play
He has taught me how to write and read he is so proud of me
I'm special and I get special treats
I set the table where having company
I have a new dress and feel so cute
The woman of the house since mom passed away
It's  hard to remember  the rules I don't like him ,mad, my bones hurt when bruised
Don't eat until Fathers sitting down at the table that is one not to forget As we all sit down to eat, I clench my tiny hands hiding my secrets  under there

Help me decide on matters that always make me cry
Help me understand how things would happen and or why
Explain to me the reasons of staying in a room
Where no love is present and everyday's like a doom

What would I do to be happy, how would I attain my peace?
I feel like locked in a cage, how can I feel at ease?
I cannot do what I like,  I do things that please people
I make others happy but I cannot hear my own heart's call

Can you look at my chains,  here keeping these weak hands?
How can you set me free from this heavy and aching bond?
I made a mistake,  I know,  do I deserved to get this prize?
To die without happiness,  to live seeing what's not nice

Help me to see that there is end, help me to find that open gate
Help me to see that death's beauty is still the best I have to wait
Help me to look at my own face in front of life's unfair mirror
Help me to lay down with a smile on my graveyard forevermore.

I start thinking about my mistakes,
So I think about what & all errors,
Those I made & the world makes.
Some special pattern is absent,
Fail I do to figure it out at all,
Prevent I do from letting the blame,
Shift on others for ruining,
What I did and what I do,
I am answerable to myself,
And no ****** **** else!!!