Yes, I can stay here just like this,
And keep doing this to myself over and over, forever.
Eventually my mind will break.
Eventually I'll lose it and I can stop loving you like this.
Every single word that burns my ears leaves them ringing,
Because each time you do,
I know that's the last time I'll hear it.
Eventually I'll be deaf.  
Then I will stop hearing your song.
Then I can stop loving you like this.
Eventually I'll learn to associate your name with pain,
So that I flinch back at it,
So that I'm scared to come around,
All that will be left is a rainbow over a dead, burnt, empty field, amidst a gray sky,
And I'll wonder why it continues to shine it's colors in the darkness,
So deep light cannot escape it,
Then you will not reach me,
Then I can stop loving you like this.

Beyond my faded skin is more than you can see
Beyond my glassy eyes is more than you can know
Beyond my broken frame is more than you can understand

You don't look beyond
You think you know
You don't really understand

All you see is my crumbling skin
All you know are my foggy eyes
All you understand are my collapsing bones

You don't take the time to look beyond

"I love you."
Words can't touch me anymore.
My skin is coated in lies
Nothing penetrates.
My last hope is caught in my throat
And I can't swallow it,
Bumps and bruises are hidden behind
"I'm fine," "I'm just tired."
Words are branded into my skin.
They have left layers of scars
So thick there's no room left to carve -
So imprinted there's nothing left to root.
Nothing more to say to boot.
Prickly like a porcupine, consonants stick off of me,
Petruding like my long buried personality
Used to,
Like my personality used to.
Vowels form a new face of expressions
I was once able to pen for myself
But now
I can't.
I wear words instead of speak them;
I wear words like a coat of armor on top of my numb skin.
I swear words don't even touch me anymore.
There is no need to carry a shield ,
Instead you built for me a castle.
And I'm somewhere inside,
Untouched.

There will be a morning
Like all the rest
When you turn over and open heavy lids
As you exit slumber you are startled
Because you are alone

You fell asleep alone
Yet you will be surprised
You call out, remembering the lives that once mingled with yours
They can be heard calling back
But they are not calling back to you

You lay in your nest
Wondering how all the birds flew away
When you've barely hatched

i could feel your eyes on me as i laughed
i looked up across the room and there you were
looking straight back
you weren't wearing your glasses
and i don't know about your contacts
so i don't know how much of me you could see
even though i've shown you more than most will ever
i'm sorry for that burden
that painful privilege
i hope you could see me today
well enough to notice my hesitation before i looked back
to the source of my cheer
you are the source of confusion
my desire has been untangling itself but i fear i'll never be free
and i'll be stuck under your gaze
while you continue to not love me

Red blemishes appear,
And they fester and burst.
Crawling fast, they tear.

No one screams.
No one remembers they hurt.

The skin turns dead --
Flesh black not red --
Bodies becoming dirt.

In the distance is heard
One last choke,
One last word,
Mumbled through the smoke.

Ash rains down.
In this blood they will drown.

And a small voice mutters
                                                 "don't".

Breathe me in like your last cigarette,
because you swear you're going to quit,
as the smoke swirls past your head
and heads east.

Drain my cup like the last coffee
you pour yourself, even though it's 11 pm
and you really should go to bed soon
because you never sleep enough.

Color between my lines like you tried
to show your little sister, when she stole
your colored pencils and scribbled
all through your sketchbook.

Give me the kind of attention you give
sunset on the beach,
because someting about it makes time stop
and brings you peace.

Love me,
even though the only time you ever thought
love just might be more than a façade or a con
left you detached and empty.

Love me,
because I promise
I'm already trying
to love you.

It comes on
and he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
(This song saved your life.)
The radio blares the **** of the latest joke, but songs
aren't allowed to save lives any more so you keep quiet.
Music isn't a cure, and The Cure have been long out of style and
it happened
before anyone had ever heard of Twenty One Pilots anyway and
since long before Rose killed herself with a twenty pill crash diet.
it happened
but he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
Those chords saved your life
But "can you believe we
ever listened
to this song?"

The sunset looks beautiful with the windows rolled down
and you wonder how you ever survived this long, anyway.

I think about it
I think about it
I think about it
Sitting here with you
I think about it
I feel shame
I think about it
I feel hate
I think about it
*** has changed
I think about it
Sitting here
With a smoke in my hand
A coffee on my lips
And I think about it
I think about it
Red light
Worst night
Too drunk
and I think about it
Not my house
Not my friends
Making out
God I think about it
Studying
Writing
I think about it
Red light
Worst night
I think about it