Why can't they see me?
See past the pretty hair, cute face, long legs and thin waist.
They don't see me.
Rebound is what I'm made out to be.
They come falling back into my arms, heart big and warm.
I catch them.
I'm not to sure why I do, but the is heart worn, not at all new.
So why am I the rebound girl when there's so much I have to offer?
Smarts, talent and skin that's much softer.
I stand here questioning myself, but it ends with laughter.
I answer myself quite a bit faster...."It's not me, it's them"
All they really need is a friend.
Have I tried and tried to be there, and they still don't care.
Why? Because they don't see me.

Creases and folds
Rich lustrous strokes
Bold soft voices spoke
Touch like a ring of gold

In sheets we make things
Crumpled and messy
Like a raging tsunami
A delight in all human beings

Slapping and slammings
A rhythm worth hearing
The pounding and bounding
Sweet pleasurable pain it brings

Beyond what a body could
Handle and take it would
For it is what we wanted
Like a forbidden affair sorted

The melodious chorus
Of wails and moans
The harmonious beating
With stick and stones

Like origami birds
We bend and break
To cure our heart aches
For we are like paper burned

Ashes we become so far
Fragmented in the wind we are
For we never ever will be
As happy as anyone thought it to be

For like origami birds we are
Folded and bent to hold so far
Manipulated by love and hate
Blinded by our own cruel mistakes

We will tear and break
Like every paper bearing weight
Flying into the winds of fate
And burning into the pits of heart break.

Every weekend, I take boys to the beach.
At midnight he grabs his keys and drives me to the most serene, yet rocky beach.
The water feels warm, but it makes my touch cold.
I get wet from playful splashing, we were laughing, but I was holding back my feelings.
Not really ready to dive in. Not touching, not even loving,
Just enjoying his time and the gas he spent.
Just for me.

Another week passes, another piece of magic.
Before college and the knowledge I had,
Before I knew what was about to happen:
I'm nearly **** in a two-piece. Pulling and tugging at my assets, Glancing and once more, laughing at our conversations filled with flirting.
Not knowing what I'm wanting.
Second guessing my flaunting.
I'm a siren singing a song of tragedy.
Luring these boys who want to fix me.
He held me close, and didn't want to let go.
His lips touched my neck, my back, my shoulder, but I didn't roll over.
He still held me near for warmth on this cold, cold, sandy beach.

On my last breath, on my last note, I closed my eyes for a time and I just wanted to go.
I was done with love and searching for closure in the ocean’s moisture.
I was done with making promises, hearing them say they love all of this; I was especially done with the lies that they practiced, behind their eyes there was no reflection.
Now all these boys want the ocean.

And that much I notice.

I am a siren and I sing my song until I can no longer breathe oxygen.
That is when the ocean swallows my sorrow for a while when I follow them.
The boys line up, and I catch feelings for one.
He understands my song.
He sang it once.
Drove two hours just to find where it was coming from.

And on that same beach, different waves pushed and pulled that night.
Smiles lit up the dark sky, and we laughed and kissed under the moon’s tide.
Yes, I am a siren.
I am a hypocrite.
I sing to my heart's content, till it's tired, worn out, and I become irritated.
But my love comes from within.
No matter how dark it is, the lighthouse is in him.

You were a lonely soul
Dark and deep and mysterious

But you were also kind
Brave and strong and loving

But your love was lost
To the one who was oceans away

And so you turned to me
Who was too naïve to know

That romance was not love
And love was not always true

And rebound wasn't just a play
In a game of basketball

And so I broke apart
A fragile soul too broken

To piece together something
worth loving