Cayla frazier: Poems

Cayla frazier Sep 2015

Wrapped in your warmth
Snuggled to your side
your arm draped over me
with pride you cannot hide.
I am yours and you are mine
Forever with you is where I want to be
To cherish each day
For all eternity.

C.F2015

forever his
C&C

#love #eternity #destiny

Altered

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Altered

Altering your mind to keep
Thoughts out, may alter
your heart from letting
Feelings in...

#altered #buzzed

Always with Me

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Always with Me

I woke up to a beautiful day,
full of life and love.
You open my eyes to its beauty,
showing me your amazing grace.
I can feel your light run through me,
warming my heart and soul.
You make me a better person,
just by you loving me.
I do not fear falling,
I know you will help carry me.
You guide me through my life,
walking beside me all the way.
Always with Me
@C.F14'

#love #god #grace

Awake

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Awake

I woke up changed..
finally coming out of the dream,
seeing past all the lies..

#awake

Back in my Life

Cayla frazier Jul 2015

Back in my Life

Long ago you vanished from me,
with silent words you were gone.

We drifted apart for reasons unknown,
for gods plan was yet to be seen.

But like a summers breeze,
you have been brought back to me.

Instantly we are connected,
like two soul destined to meet.
@C.F15

#backinmylife #godsplan

Banish away

Cayla frazier Jul 2015

Banish away

The wisest men say
never wish away your days.
Pushing everyday to thrive
never taking for granted your alive.
Cherish the good days to
banish all the bad.
Always turning you eyes to the skies
soaking in the positive waves,
washing all your pain away.
Knowing your not alone in the world,
together finding a way to cure the hate.

C.F15

#hate #banish

Caged In..

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Caged In..

I feel trapped inside,
unable to free who I want to be.
I try and Fight, lose more than I gain..
But I still fight..fight through my pain.

#trapped #neverfree

Came And Went

Cayla frazier Oct 2015

Came And Went

Yesterday came and went
With only the memories that are crushed in
my mind.
Everyone reminded me that its ok and
that I am stronger for having the courage
to leave and want more for my life.
Even though I have moved on from what
became of us, I reminded of the failed parts
of my life.

cracked armor

Cayla frazier Dec 2015

cracked armor

There is a crack in my Armor
its beginning to let the dark creep
back in to my life.
I keep trying to patch my life
but my fingers are numb from trying
from trying and failing..
how can it be so hard to fix
who I am, I don't want who I used
to be.. I just want to figure out who I
even am anymore..
I feel shattered on the inside..
cant remember the last time I felt whole.

creeping

Cayla frazier Jan 2015

creeping

The hands on the clock are creeping by
like fog across a road, slowly reminding me of
how much time I truly waste.

Creeping Darkness

Cayla frazier Aug 2014

Creeping Darkness

The Darkness creeps in,
into my mind and soul.
I know after awhile it will take its toll.
I must continue to fight, hold it off...
but how long can I stay strong or
will it consume me??

Danger

Cayla frazier Dec 2014

Danger

Opening my heart again is danger..
to my mind..heart and soul.
Am I ready to risk it all again??
Each time I do it takes it's toll..

#risk #dangers

Dark Castle

Cayla frazier Nov 2014

Dark Castle

I can feel the darkness trying to find me,
tracking me down to pull me under.
I continue to run towards the light,
But it finds me before I can save myself.
Always inches away from a happier time,
to just be pulled back to the dark castle in my head.

happiness is a myth

#why #darkness

deeper ink

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

deeper ink

My ink runs deeper than paper.
It runs on my skin and heart.. mapping my character
and giving me my art.

People stare at my ink, on paper and skin..
casting judgement of both now and again.

#art #ink #judgement

delusion

Cayla frazier Oct 2014

delusion

Do you even know the truth anymore
Or are you that deluaional ??
The darkness that spews out of your
mouth will not break who I am anymore.
So if need to lie to make yourself
happy or try and destroy my good name,
Then I will pray for you..
Pray you find peace in your delusions
That I'm the reason this is over..

Did you know?

Cayla frazier Oct 2014

Did you know?

Did you know I prayed for you?
I asked everyday for happiness,
and you turned out to be just that.
Somehow restoring my life day by day,
putting me back together one piece at a time.

#feelings #life #hope #pickingmeup

drained

Cayla frazier Apr 2015

drained

They take and I give
they take and I give
Taking, taking , taking

I slice at my wrist to give more,
Remember to go down the tracks and not across... but nothing comes out, they have drained me..drained my life..

Dream Landscape

Cayla frazier Feb 2015

Dream Landscape

When my eyes close at night
I dream of ways my life could take flight.
My mind runs with ideas of how
I could have been different from
the past to now.
Its always changing
never the same.
I never know which way to take
to shift my dreams and raise the stakes.
But changing in my dreams isn't really living
because I'm proud of the life I was given.

Learning to love myself one day at a time

#dreams #loveme

Eternity

Cayla frazier Jun 2015

Eternity

Swiftly I come to you
like a shooting star in the sky.

Swiftly I come to you
praying our passion never dies.

In your arms is where I
want to stay..
Never losing grip
for Eternity if I may.

@C.F.15

#hopefullove

fighting the blue skies

Cayla frazier Apr 2015

fighting the blue skies

Lying here watching the clouds go
slowly by, wondering why do I
even try??
I fight myself when boredom comes
of whether what I do is enough...
how can I fly high in the clouds
to spin out of control towards the ground.

**FILED**

Cayla frazier Oct 2014

**FILED**

I filed for my freedom from you today,
paying the fee so it can be done.
awaiting 30 day before I know,
that i can finally be done with you.
You hurt me more than i ever could imagine,
but im healing everyday..everyday im away from you.
My friends, family and god give me the strength to move on,
the strength you took from me is restored.
I have no fear or anxiety, I filed those away.

#strength #divorce

flooding

Cayla frazier Jun 2015

flooding

Are those tears..or the rain
mix them together lately
there all the same.
salty droplets of my pain
pouring from my eyes and
the skies...flooding my pillow.

Get OVER It!!

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Get OVER It!!

Get over the fact that I have tattoos..
Get over the fact that I'm overweight..
because I know im an amazing and
talented person, who doesnt need or
want your approval..

Haunted Heart

Cayla frazier Jan 2015

Haunted Heart

My heart is haunted
by the ghosts of my past,
the struggles of my present,
and the unknown of my future.

#haunted

Hippie Soul

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Hippie Soul

My soul feels older than my years..
like its lived for centuries before me.

Maybe that's why I think different,
feel different than the world I'm in.

Compassion, hope and love run through
me, helping me push through this world
of hate.

Accepting myself and those around me for
who they are and not conforming with the
masses..
@C.F.14'

#love #noh8

HOW

Cayla frazier Nov 2014

HOW

How can a month hurt worse than 5 years??
HOW did you bring me to the light to just watch me F A L L..
I cant find my grip to bring my self back up,
Forever doomed to live at the bottom.. A L O N E..

#depression #alone #fall #how

Im Fine

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Im Fine

They worry if I'm alright,
If maybe I'm depressed.
Flooding me with love
and support, trying to
show that they are there..
But I'm fine, I tell them, that
they don't have to worry.
I'm slowly finding my own
way, its just taking a little
time....To figure out that I
am worth a the fight, that
I deserve to be happy..
Without the darkness trying to
flood my thoughts and dreams.
So I smile and same I'm fine
and the hardest part is
believing my self..

@C.F14'

#fine

Inked

Cayla frazier Sep 2015

Inked

The first time can be scary
not sure you made the right choice.

Unfamiliar sounds and smells
gives you a rush you can never forget.

But with every new one
you slowly become submerged in this world.

The ink lets you express your heart
or heals your soul.

For a moment time stands still
and your at peace.

Accepting yourself and choosing
to live the life you want.

C.F15

#pain #inked

Internal Clock

Cayla frazier Aug 2014

Internal Clock

Beside me he peacefully sleeps,
not knowing the fears I secretly keep.

The fears that silently tear me apart,
those I keep hidden within my heart.

Not knowing how it will all turn out,
is the roughest part without a doubt.

Doctors tell me there is always hope,
but nothing really helps me cope.

My fear of never being able to say,
that we have a baby on the way.

-cayla frazier

#depression #mycurse

Just One Night

Cayla frazier Oct 2014

Just One Night

In just one night...
You found
the butterflies I had lost.
You cleared the clouds that
hid my heart.
You gave me hope
after the storm.
You showed me the
way to shore.

#hope #butterflies #onenight

Little Words

Cayla frazier May 2015

Little Words

T R U S T
how can a word and action
be so simple, yet be
the hardest thing to give someone.
F A I T H
the one thing we can feel
so deeply, but lose in a
single breath.
H O N E S T Y
the best characteristic of the
all, but is lost with
those who break you down.
then there is L O V E..
four little letters that
can hold all the others in it
or
make them fall by the
way side and never be
the same again.

low expectations

Cayla frazier Aug 2014

low expectations

There may never be a knight on
A white horse.
Never a castle hidden far away.
Never hear the sound of little
Feet running around.
Never being Beautiful, smart, or
Rich..learning to live with those.
Why dream of things when
They could never happen anyways..
Lower expectations keep the fear and
Pain from defeating me

#depressed #numb

melting castle

Cayla frazier Nov 2014

melting castle

My white castle was just a mirage..
Fooling me to believe that there is a happily ever after.
The ivory walls are turning black and crumbling to the ground..
The sky is darkening, pushing the light away from me..
Its useless to chase the sun, when u know u should let it go ..

#hurt #pieces

Mental Riots

Cayla frazier Dec 2015

Mental Riots

The chaos in me wont subside,
I try and push myself, make myself FEEL happy.. be happy
but I cant control the Riots inside my head.. causing destruction of
my heart and deteriorating my mind..

I hear people talk to me.. or rather at me, telling me to take my time
that I just need to focus on me.. but how can I focus with all the noise
in my mind.. its deafening ..

My greatest fear is that it will win.. it will completely shatter the thought of who I was or wanted to be.

#struggle #pickaperson

mental war

Cayla frazier Dec 2015

mental war

Sometimes I feel so hollow
just a shell of who I was or would have become
My internal war destroys what I think I want
making me feel doubt about it all
most days I stop trying to fight it
letting it consume what little happiness
I find..its greedy like that
always wanting more..
I know its selfish to allow others in
when darkness will surely win...

morning love

Cayla frazier Feb 2016

morning love

You are forever my Heart and Soul.
My love for you will never cease to grow.
You bring light and love to my day, I love you more
than words could ever say.
From this day on I know this is true,
I cannot wait to spend my life with you.

Morning smile

Cayla frazier Oct 2014

Morning smile

We sat and talked for hours
not caring about the time
No distractions to worry about
nothing occupying our minds.

#hope #happy #allnight

my curse

Cayla frazier Aug 2014

my curse

Slowly they fall down my cheek,
Expressing the words I cannot speak.

Releasing the pain that builds up inside,
Nevermore for me to be able to hide.

Easing my hurt and my fears,
Those I cannot speak unto your ears.

Framing my mind around the worse,
About why I was given this horrible curse.

#mind #paper #to #mycurse

My Home Run

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

My Home Run

The World tells you that it doesn't exist,
that you will never find it...
Believing that you can find your happily ever
after, regardless of how people put it down.
I'm holding out for the out of the park home-run
feeling you get when that person walks in the room.
Never again will I fight against my heart, it alone
knows where im suppose to be and what I deserve.

#fairytale #waiting #homerun

no Escape

Cayla frazier Nov 2014

no Escape

Music was my escape
until you...
Now your in every song i ever loved..
reminding me your gone, and that
I wasnt good enough

no vacancy

Cayla frazier Jan 2015

no vacancy

My internal closet is full
Of everything I keep
Bottled up..
I hope it can hold it all

Opened my eyes

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Opened my eyes

OPENLY...
I love too openly.
Trust to openly.
Care to openly.
not anymore, I will guard against the hurt..
Of being made to feel like it was all my fault..

#hurt #never #fault #divorce

Pieces

Cayla frazier Nov 2014

Pieces

Are these tears I feel or Pieces of my soul??
Is there a difference..they both pour out of me.
They are all I have left of me...
My purpose I'm unable to find,
Do I hold on or let you go??
Can I let half of myself go??

how do i let go of my other half??
do i have the strength??

#depressed #pieces #mypurpose

P*uLLed

Cayla frazier Oct 2015

P*uLLed

Who am I?
Who should I be?
Why cant I find my place in world full
choices?

I know that I'm everyone's cup of tea,
more like the tea bag just feeling used.

I pray for peace and self acceptance.
Knowing I need to love me before I can
find where I truly need to be.

Pulling in different directions
barely holding on, my strength depleting.

I'm weak and so tired,
just wanna fold into myself until
it all passes. but the darkness there
can be deafening too.

C.F2015

#unknown #trainwreck

pushing the darkness

Cayla frazier Aug 2014

pushing the darkness

The music seems to flow over
and through me, pushing back
my pain..fears.. and problems.
I can feel myself sinking
deeper into my happy place and
forgetting how lost I really am.
With just a beat..I'm FREE

#darkness #music #imfree

**Puzzle Parts**

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

**Puzzle Parts**

I am not just one thing.. there are many parts to my
puzzle I call life.
I have my mothers hands and strength.
My fathers humor and courage.
The heart God gave me allows me
to be who I am and help those I love.
You only see what you think
I am..
I am strong and weak
Brave and scared
confident and insecure..
But I am who I was always meant
to be..ME

C.F

#life #me #mypuzzle

recharge

Cayla frazier Apr 2016

recharge

I feel like I need a recharge..
need to plug back into myself for a while.
Maybe have the sun charge my soul,
melt away all the darkness.
But I cant find the sun.. cant find the warmth
to bring me back to life..

relaxing breathe

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

relaxing breathe

With a single choice,
my anxiety is gone..gone from my
mind and my heart.
Now that I am ease,
the world feels different..
as so do I

#relaxed

replys for matt

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

replys for matt

ahh the hung stud..
never have I had the pleasure..
to witness and feel all of there zeal..

#hung #matt

Rifts

Cayla frazier Sep 2014

Rifts

music is part of my existence..
the kick drum keeps my heart in rhythm.

The rifts from the guitar help lead
my down these roads in my life.

With each lyric, I'm closer to being
saved from myself.

Giving me hope and motivation to get
through each day..