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Jun 2016 · 667
Tumbling thoughts
Cayla frazier Jun 2016
I want to catch you attention,
        but not hear that I'm beautiful for my size.
The things you say stay with me,
        they tumble around in my head.
I will overthink and pick apart each word,
        compare it to how we act together.
I want to find my butterflies,
        find someone who wants to make me smile.
But I also want to be the reason your always smiling,
        I want to be able to chase away your bad days.
Apr 2016 · 996
recharge
Cayla frazier Apr 2016
I feel like I need a recharge..
need to plug back into myself for a while.
Maybe have the sun charge my soul,
melt away all the darkness.
But I cant find the sun.. cant find the warmth
to bring me back to life..
Feb 2016 · 400
morning love
Cayla frazier Feb 2016
You are forever my Heart and Soul.
My love for you will never cease to grow.
You bring light and love to my day, I love you more
than words could ever say.
From this day on I know this is true,
I cannot wait to spend my life with you.
Dec 2015 · 393
cracked armor
Cayla frazier Dec 2015
There is a crack in my Armor
its beginning to let the dark creep
back in to my life.
I keep trying to patch my life
but my fingers are  numb from trying
from trying and failing..
how can it be so hard to fix
who I am, I don't want who I used
to be.. I just want to figure out who I
even am anymore..
I feel shattered on the inside..
cant remember the last time I felt whole.
Dec 2015 · 423
mental war
Cayla frazier Dec 2015
Sometimes I feel so hollow
just a shell of who I was or would have become
My internal war destroys what I think I want
making me feel doubt about it all
most days I stop trying to fight it
letting it consume what little happiness
I find..its greedy like that
always wanting more..
I know its selfish to allow others in
when darkness will surely win...
Dec 2015 · 507
Mental Riots
Cayla frazier Dec 2015
The chaos in me wont subside,
I try and push myself, make myself FEEL happy.. be happy
but I cant control the Riots inside my head.. causing destruction of
my heart and deteriorating my mind..

I hear people talk to me.. or rather at me, telling me to take my time
that I just need to focus on me.. but how can I focus with all the noise
in my mind.. its deafening ..

My greatest fear is that it will win.. it will completely  shatter the thought of who I was or wanted to be.
Oct 2015 · 371
Came And Went
Cayla frazier Oct 2015
Yesterday came and went
With only the memories that are crushed in
my mind.
Everyone reminded me that its ok and
that I am stronger for having the courage
to leave and want more for my life.
Even though I have moved on from what
became of us, I reminded of the failed parts  
of my life.
Oct 2015 · 706
P*uLLed
Cayla frazier Oct 2015
Who am I?
Who should I be?
Why cant I find my place in world full
choices?

I know that I'm everyone's cup of tea,
more like the tea bag just feeling used.

I pray for peace and self acceptance.
Knowing I need to love me before I can
find where I truly need to be.

Pulling in different directions
barely holding on, my strength depleting.

I'm weak and so tired,
just wanna fold into myself until
it all passes. but the darkness there
can be deafening too.

C.F2015
Sep 2015 · 487
All Wrapped Up
Cayla frazier Sep 2015
Wrapped in your warmth
Snuggled to your side
your arm draped over me
with pride you cannot hide.
I am yours and you are mine
Forever with you is where I want to be
To cherish each day
For all eternity.

C.F2015
forever his
C&C
Sep 2015 · 611
Inked
Cayla frazier Sep 2015
The first time can be scary
not sure you made the right choice.

Unfamiliar sounds and smells
gives you a rush you can never forget.

But with every new one
you slowly become submerged in this world.

The ink lets you express your heart
or heals your soul.

For a moment time stands still
and your at peace.

Accepting yourself and choosing
to live the life you want.

C.F15
Aug 2015 · 350
Souly Destined CF15
Cayla frazier Aug 2015
Its a comfort to know that I am not alone anymore,
alone to fall apart when my
depression and anxiety catch me off guard.

Because I have you watching over my heart and mind,
you can feel when
I need to be held and told every thing will be alright
and that no matter what you will always be there
to wipe the tears from my face.

The connection our souls have is amazing
sensing each other without
having to say a word.

Our souls were destined to
find each other so they could
be together and In love again.
Aug 2015 · 295
Shattered
Cayla frazier Aug 2015
Persistently shaking her bottle,
Not seeing the cracks they are forming.. Little by little losing more and more.. Slowly dripping down, becoming a steady flow. Until they finally break her, the bottle holding her pain shatters.
Jul 2015 · 327
Back in my Life
Cayla frazier Jul 2015
Long ago you vanished from me,
with silent words you were gone.

We drifted apart for reasons unknown,
for gods plan was yet to be seen.

But like a summers breeze,
you have been brought back to me.

Instantly we are connected,
like two soul destined to meet.
@C.F15
Jul 2015 · 560
Banish away
Cayla frazier Jul 2015
The wisest men say
never wish away your days.
Pushing everyday to thrive
never taking for granted your alive.
Cherish the good days to
banish all the bad.
Always turning you eyes to the skies
soaking in the positive waves,
washing all your pain away.
Knowing your not alone in the world,
together finding a way to cure the hate.

C.F15
Jun 2015 · 564
Eternity
Cayla frazier Jun 2015
Swiftly I come to you
like a shooting star in the sky.

Swiftly I come to you
praying our passion never dies.

In your arms is where I
want to stay..
Never losing grip
for Eternity if I may.

@C.F.15
Jun 2015 · 798
flooding
Cayla frazier Jun 2015
Are those tears..or the rain
mix them together lately
there all the same.
salty droplets of my pain
pouring from my eyes and
the skies...flooding my pillow.
May 2015 · 282
Little Words
Cayla frazier May 2015
T R U S T
how can a word and action
be so simple, yet be
the hardest thing to give someone.
F A I T H
the one thing we can feel
so deeply, but lose in a
single breath.
H O N E S T Y
the best characteristic of the
all, but is lost with
those who break you down.
then there is L O V E..
four little letters that
can hold all the others in it
or
make them fall by the
way side and never be
the same again.
Apr 2015 · 418
drained
Cayla frazier Apr 2015
They take and I give
they take and I give
Taking, taking , taking

I slice at my wrist to give more,
Remember to go down the tracks and not across... but nothing comes out, they have drained me..drained my life..
Apr 2015 · 331
fighting the blue skies
Cayla frazier Apr 2015
Lying here watching the clouds go
slowly by, wondering why do I
even try??
I fight myself when boredom comes
of whether what I do is enough...
how can I fly high in the clouds
to spin out of control towards the ground.
Feb 2015 · 412
Dream Landscape
Cayla frazier Feb 2015
When my eyes close at night
I dream of  ways my life could take flight.
My mind runs with ideas of how
I could have been different from
the past to now.
Its always changing
never the same.
I never know which way to take
to shift my dreams and raise the stakes.
But changing in my dreams isn't really living
because I'm proud of the life I was given.
Learning to love myself one day at a time
Jan 2015 · 320
no vacancy
Cayla frazier Jan 2015
My internal closet is full
Of everything I keep
Bottled up..
I hope it can hold it all
Jan 2015 · 383
creeping
Cayla frazier Jan 2015
The hands on the clock are creeping by
like fog across a road, slowly reminding me of
how much time I truly waste.
Jan 2015 · 2.5k
Haunted Heart
Cayla frazier Jan 2015
My heart is haunted
by the ghosts of my past,
the struggles of my present,
and the unknown of  my future.
Dec 2014 · 383
Spinning
Cayla frazier Dec 2014
Some days I wonder why I even try..
Feel  like I'm just stalled
my feet spinning in place
digging my own grave.
Dec 2014 · 321
WHAT???
Cayla frazier Dec 2014
I succumb to the shark inside me, tearing me apart
piece by piece..bleeding me dry.
My hormones are messing with my thoughts,
making things seem so much more foggy..
i know that nothings wrong but that feeling
keeps coming back into my mind..WHAT IF??

What if he changed his mind?
What if he doesn't want this anymore?
What if its me??
i must fight these thought before they wreck
my mind and heart..before the walls
build back up and im trapped in the darkness again.

Ive come to far to let the bad thoughts find
their old home in my thoughts..never again!!
people always talk about how everyone
is messing with their heads, but my insecurities
are my biggest demon..
Dec 2014 · 9.5k
The Struggles
Cayla frazier Dec 2014
Struggles, your and mine,
are different but the same..
MONEY
         JOBS
    BILLS
        DEBT..
Learning that its not what struggles you have,
But how you come out of them that matters..
Dec 2014 · 5.2k
Danger
Cayla frazier Dec 2014
Opening my heart again is danger..
to my mind..heart and soul.
Am I ready to risk it all again??
Each time I do it takes it's toll..
Dec 2014 · 364
You Saved Me
Cayla frazier Dec 2014
You came into my life
when  I was at my lowest.
Making me smile and forgetting
all the bad in my world.
You gave me hope
for better days to come.
Lifting my spirit
while repairing what he turned to rubble.
Your love saved me from myself..
Nov 2014 · 257
today
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
Today is a better day..
the darkness is retreating
from my thought and im seeing
clearly the truth..
or lack of..
Nov 2014 · 526
Pieces
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
Are these tears I feel or Pieces of my soul??
Is there a difference..they both pour out of me.
They are all I have left of me...
My purpose I'm unable to find,
Do I hold on or let you go??
Can I let half of myself go??
how do i let go of my other half??
do i have the strength??
Nov 2014 · 241
no Escape
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
Music was my escape
until you...
Now your in every song i ever loved..
reminding me your gone, and that
I wasnt good enough
Nov 2014 · 366
HOW
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
HOW
How can a month hurt worse than 5 years??
HOW did  you bring me to the light to just watch me F  A L L..
I cant find my grip to bring my self back up,
Forever doomed to live at the bottom.. A L O N E..
Nov 2014 · 1.8k
wish
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
I wish I could be somewhere else, be someone else..
Never again to feel the pain in my soul or run from the
darkness in my mind..
The longer I'm alone with my thoughts, the more they
pull me to the darkness.. with no light, love or life..
Nov 2014 · 415
melting castle
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
My white castle was just a mirage..
Fooling me to believe that there is a happily ever after.
The ivory walls are turning black and crumbling to the ground..
The sky is darkening, pushing the light away from me..
Its useless to chase the sun, when u know u should let it go ..
Nov 2014 · 755
Dark Castle
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
I can feel the darkness trying to find me,
tracking me down to pull me under.
I continue to run towards the light,
But it finds me before I can save myself.
Always inches away from a happier time,
to just be pulled back to the dark castle in my head.
happiness is a myth
Nov 2014 · 1.1k
Through The Tears
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
I fight through the tears,
fight to stay strong and positive..
slipping  on the puddles of my soul.

Am I strong enough to win the
FIGHT??
or will I loose it all..
C.F14
Go from a beautiful high in life, to the bottom of the ocean..
Nov 2014 · 255
Untitled
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
Like ghosts passing by,
never truly seeing each other..
my soul was lost among the world,
until it found you..
I feel like this is complete, yet could say so much more..
Nov 2014 · 33.3k
waves (10w)
Cayla frazier Nov 2014
With every crash of a wave,
My stress is washed away..
Oct 2014 · 389
**Rush**
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
Don't rush it..
But how can you rush something that
you know is right??
Time doesn't define love,
whether its a week or year.
When your soul finds it other half,
then there is nothing left to fear.
when you know you just know..
Oct 2014 · 406
Did you know?
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
Did you know I prayed for you?
I asked everyday for happiness,
and you turned out to be just that.
Somehow restoring my life day by day,
putting me back together one piece at a time.
Oct 2014 · 393
Just One Night
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
In just one night...
You found
the butterflies I had lost.
You cleared the clouds that
hid my heart.
You gave me hope
after the storm.
You showed me the
way to shore.
Oct 2014 · 463
Morning smile
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
We sat and talked for hours
not caring about the time
No distractions to worry about
nothing occupying our minds.
Oct 2014 · 323
delusion
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
Do you even know the truth anymore
Or are you that deluaional ??
The darkness that spews out of your
mouth will not break who I am anymore.
So if need to lie to make yourself
happy or try and destroy my good name,
Then I will pray for you..
Pray you find peace in your delusions
That I'm the reason this is over..
Oct 2014 · 518
**FILED**
Cayla frazier Oct 2014
I filed for my freedom from you today,
paying the fee so it can be done.
awaiting 30 day before I know,
that i can finally be done with you.
You hurt me more than i ever could imagine,
but im healing everyday..everyday im away from you.
My friends, family and god give me the strength to move on,
the strength you took from me is restored.
I have no fear or anxiety, I filed those away.
Sep 2014 · 786
Altered
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
Altering your mind to keep
Thoughts out, may alter
your heart from letting
Feelings in...
Sep 2014 · 636
Always with Me
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
I woke up to a beautiful day,
full of life and love.
You open my eyes to its beauty,
showing me your amazing grace.
I can feel your light run through me,
warming my heart and soul.
You make me a better person,
just by you loving me.
I do not fear falling,
I know you will help carry me.
You guide me through my life,
walking beside me all the way.
Always with Me
@C.F14'
Sep 2014 · 353
Rifts
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
music is part of my existence..
the kick drum keeps my heart in rhythm.

The rifts from the guitar help lead
my down these roads in my life.

With each lyric, I'm closer to being
saved from myself.

Giving me hope and motivation to get
through each day..
Sep 2014 · 2.0k
Im Fine
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
They worry if I'm alright,
If maybe I'm depressed.
Flooding me with love
and support, trying to
show that they are there..
But I'm fine, I tell them, that
they don't have to worry.
I'm slowly finding my own
way, its just taking a little
time....To figure out that I
am worth a the fight, that
I deserve to be happy..
Without the darkness trying to
flood my thoughts and dreams.
So I smile and same I'm fine
and the hardest part is
believing my self..

@C.F14'
Sep 2014 · 1.6k
Hippie Soul
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
My soul feels older than my years..
like its lived for centuries before me.

Maybe that's why I think different,
feel different than the world I'm in.

Compassion, hope and love run through
me, helping me push through this world
of hate.

Accepting myself and those around me for
who they are and not conforming with the
masses..  
@C.F.14'
Sep 2014 · 2.0k
deeper ink
Cayla frazier Sep 2014
My ink runs deeper than paper.
It runs on my skin and heart.. mapping my character
and giving me my art.

People stare at my ink, on paper and skin..
casting judgement of both now and again.
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