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May 2014 · 649
Giving up
I will put my heart
in it's rightful place
locked away, defeated
quietly nestled in cold storage.

I am nobody's gift
Nor anyone's passion
I am not seen with heart shaped eyes
My belonging is futile

I will lay my pen to rest
I will drown in crumpled paper
as my tear stained muse
laments my echo

Love does not live
within the cracked walls 
of silent existence
Love does not sing
within the void I created
Love does not listen
to pleas made in darkness
Love does not love
me.
You could be so pretty
if
your hair was straight
or at least neat 
and not fire engine red

You could look so lovely
If 
you didn't insist on wearing
tatty jeans
Yellow Dr Marten boots
Dropkick Murphys tees
and you weren't covered in tattoos

You could have a better life
If
You hadn't married
that blue eyed
empty pocket
*** smoking
dreamer

You could have more time to clean
If 
you didn't waste it
writing pointless poems
with your head in the clouds
listening to that awful racket

You could be more ladylike
If 
you didn't attend protests
railing against politics
didn't smoke, drink,
swear like a sailor
and stayed away from mosh pits.

You could be better
If 
you were a lot more me
and a hell of a lot less you
After all I've done
You were not what I was expecting..

Well, it was good talking to you
I love you mum
I love you too..
Lets do this again soon!
May 2014 · 796
Hatebook
I'll often go on Facebook
to while away the time
my friends are there,
we have a laugh
share music, pics and "smiles"

but lately things are changing
there's trouble in the air
with ugly hearted bigots
posting hatred everywhere.

I will not hate my fellow man
how ever hard they try
I really couldn't give a ****
if the blushing bride's a guy!

I will not fear a Muslim,
nor any other creed
they're not all bad, they're not all good
They've done nothing to me

So a word to all you fascists
please take your evil deeds
and stick them where the sun don't shine
not on my newsfeed!
I was so angry about this today, we have a few political parties that are a big concern and elections are coming up. They preach hatred, unfortunately many people listen. It makes me sad.
Horizons traced with trembling hands
breathe darkest depths aglow
bring pinkest rose to scarlet hues
all innocence be thrown
dew forming now on swollen bud
sweet nectar old as time
as shaking limbs cry out in bliss
to you, sweet love of mine.

Or....


Rut me, **** me, kiss me, **** me
take me on all fours
throw my back against the wall
then roll me on the floor
Abuse me, use me, wear me out
and make me scream your name
then have a swig of bedside beer
and do it all again.
This challenge was born of conversation, I prefer to write in a traditional style, so my buddy Ryan challenged me to write a traditional verse, with *** as it's theme followed by, as he put it, a translation. There ya go Ry! :-) x
May 2014 · 704
The blues
Little blue pills 
in neat little rows
Promise sweet release.
May 2014 · 774
Echoes in the Darkness
A collaboration with Jack**

For within the veil of darkness
where shadows dance in place of light
Searching for answers…lost smiles
along a curved road of desperation…I reach for your hand

You, my anchor, my beacon of light
shine down on me this day
call my name over roars of bitter sorrow
so that I may chase its echo back to you

And of this night I sing your name
melodic whispers upon a moonbeam
slowly peering through a saddened haze…parting
illuminating the silhouette of your beauty

Then we shall dance upon stardust
our arms and hearts entwined
no more by darkness captured,
your loving hand in mine

Now as we touch I find this light is not of me,
not of moon glow shimmering on the mist,
nor stars twinkling on a velvet night, it glows of your smile
which I have so longed to see…once again
May 2014 · 1.3k
note to an absent friend
I didn't cry when I heard of your passing, didn't fall to my knees or scream at the sky, you would have hated that anyway.The world went on around me, daily routines soaking up time like a desert soaks up precious drops of rain. Your funeral had gone before I heard the news, no black-draped graveside gestures for me. 

All I could think was "that's another one of us gone" both of you too soon but the tears didn't come.

 Days turned into weeks, as they will...

Then came the music, funny how music can do that. My speakers spoke of Jesus riding a motorbike and there you were, dancing, or something like it. Your face radiating happiness as it always did when we misfits were all together, that grin, oh how I miss that grin, wide as the grand canyon and equally beautiful. I laughed, mascara black tears staining my cheeks, as a torrent of despair set forth, bleeding old wounds and cleansing my heart. I still miss you, even now, you with your ever- worn parka and your party tricks deemed unacceptable in polite society, I always will. I wrote you a poem. You wouldn't like it, because it's sad, the one thing you never were...
Written in loving memory of my friend Twix, many years have passed, my love for him has not. He is the Him in "For Him"
May 2014 · 443
The quote that spoke..
Elizabeth Wortzel**

I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible...
I read this this morning and saw myself..
Taken from Prozac Nation.
May 2014 · 1.2k
Flight
Fly away little bird
flee from the blackness that swarms ever closer
it's bible-weight threatening the air in your fragile lungs.
Quicker now little bird, I beg you!
Soar above the hurt that dares
capture your soul
it has no comfort to offer
no warmth to grant
it will break your fragile wings
and steal you away to darkness
where your poet heart will sing no more.
Fly little bird. Please won't you fly...
May 2014 · 348
Untitled
When all is lost
how does the heart find peace.
A title eludes me.
May 2014 · 871
Fake escape
With a joint in the ashtray
and a pen in my hand
I travel through vapours
to my neverland
awareness fades slowly
to the drum beating time
as I float, now enraptured
slow-captured, sublime.
Where I am an island
no hurt at my shore
here grief doesn't beckon
'cause I love you no more
but deep in minds shadows
l feel you draw near
my bringer of sadness
sweet wringer of tears
I hear your dark whispers
rekindling our ties
I'm fighting, freefalling
through love laden lies.
May 2014 · 318
Falling Slowly
Glen Hansard**

I don't know you, but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can't react

And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
The moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black

Well, you have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud
Falling slowly lyrics by Glen Hansard, one of the best singer/songwriters ever!! in my humble opinion.
May 2014 · 927
choose your weapon
Always choose words wisely
as they can do such harm
use them not to wound or hurt
belittle or disarm
for confidence is fragile
it masks the truer self
that child inside wrapped tight in scars
that dare not love itself.
The pen is mightier than the sword
May 2014 · 494
'Til death do us part.
Laid out in front of me
gasping for air
as hands apply pressure
and eyes coldly stare.
Grip tightening
eyes widening
knuckles whitening
Skin bruising
you're losing
your battle with me
You're struggling
Eyes bulging
pulse slowing
now knowing
that I'll be the last thing you see.
Murderers are a preoccupation of mine, so I thought why not write one? Not convinced it works yet though. Any feedback and suggestions are more than welcome and would be much appreciated. Thanks for stopping by..........He's behind you!!!! :-)
May 2014 · 7.8k
self esteem
Am I anything at all
if I'm nothing to you?
May 2014 · 620
Yours..... in frustration.
"I want to throw my head back
dig my nails into your skin
and ride you like a rodeo
while taking swigs of gin"

You say in no uncertain terms
"I'm much too old for that
these dishes still need washing
and I have to feed the cat"

"Lets tear each others clothes off
paint our bodies with delight
and crumple up our fresh washed sheets
let passion burn the night"

You look at me like I've gone mad
and say "that's not for me"
"I need to put the bins out and
  there's football on tv"

So I dress in finest flimsies
in the hope of causing thrills
you tell me "put a sweater on, it's cold, you'll catch a chill"

You see I like loud and rowdy
and he likes slow and sound
I haven't got much time for that
We're too long in the ground.
Now I've given up completely
don't know what to try or say
so our missionary marriage
lives to see another day.
Inspired by "Lets do it" by Victoria Wood. Any likenesses to my own marriage will be strongly denied :-)
May 2014 · 588
Awake.
Settle here with me a while
with cup of tea and morning smile
let sunlight bathe our waking skin
and listen as the day begins

The birds they sing of gloried morn
while sleepy kittens stretch and yawn
as chiffon clouds go floating by
suspended in an azure sky

Then face the world with all it's trials
my hand in yours,your heart in mine
and go with doubtless courage true
for I am always here with you.
Probably a bit rough but I only had 5 minutes before work and felt the need.
May 2014 · 548
For a friend.
If I could bring myself to you
on broken wings through dusky skies
we'd press our backs to twisted rails 
to sit and shoot the breeze a while

If I could bring you here to me
across the raging moon-bright sea
we'd walk down melancholy streets
and share our lovelorn broken dreams.

We'd sing in star lit shadows
and **** our broken hearts!
our laughter ringing through the night
and rattling the dark

We'd be silent as the sun rose
because this one thing we'd know
we may be broken sometimes
but we are more often whole.
May 2014 · 791
She loves you
Gaslight Anthem**

On President Street, you'll find the sisters
Praying over
My city's heart
While Union Avenue
Turns to its disciples
Who feels the pressure heat coming on hard?

And If all was well
And your heart could find the words
Would we be for better baby
Would we be for worse
And if there was a way
To navigate your seas
If tonight my true love
Dared belong to me

And Juliet she's just smoking by the window
Saying stone cold
I believe in you Romeo
And the raindrops in the cars
Keep on falling from off the bars
Blocking out a good song
Playing on the radio

And if all was well
And your heart could find the words
Would we be for better baby
Would we be for worse
And if there was a way
To navigate your seas
If tonight my true love
(Dared belong to me)

Well I've been down
I've been out
Had my head and my heart kicked around

I've been down
I've been out
Had my head and my heart kicked around

But in the quiet of the night
Romeo's mind is burning
From putting all of his blood
Into them sermons

And If all was well
And your heart could find the words
Would we be for better baby
Would we be for worse
And if there was a way
To navigate your seas
If tonight my true love
Dared belong to me

(Do you miss her right now?) Dared belong to me
(Do you miss her right now?) Dared belong to me
(Do you miss her right now?) Dared belong to me
(Do you miss her right now?) Dared belong to me.
Because it's a truly beautiful song :-)
May 2014 · 958
whispers
She whispered I love you into the dark
The dark remained indifferent.
May 2014 · 883
Hush
Let the beat of our besotted hearts
bring rhythm to our knotted limbs
with no one here to tell us now
where I should end and you begin.
May 2014 · 431
The poetess, introduced.
She walks alone, defiant
in clothes as black as night 
hiding her heart in shadows
never seeing light
she kicks at life and lovers past
and picks at healing scars
she'll talk to you in riddles
and hide behind her 'art'
she fears the darkest deeds within
her  blackened, broken heart. 

She has need of nobody
that's how she makes it seem
and only few will ever know
the glory of her dreams
but if she lets you come inside
she'll beg you not to stay
as love is never hers to keep
and every heart must stray

She'll push you to your limits
as you sink into her skin
her passion overflowing
with sweetest velvet sin
but when the game is over
she'll lay sated on your chest
then lock her heart away once more
at her haunted soul's behest.
May 2014 · 487
Now
Now
Throw caution to the wind
Come mess up my bed.
I think the sentiment is self explanatory
May 2014 · 2.6k
Black
Pearl Jam**

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All of five horizons revolved around her soul as the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

and all I taught her was everything
I know she gave me all that she was

And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside, I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head, I'm spinning, oh,
I'm spinning
how quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
all that I am, all I'll be.

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky,
But why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?
I'd noticed a few people posting lyrics, I love that, music is my passion, I can't go a day without it. These lyrics are some of my favourite ever written. This is the song that breaks my heart. Everytime. Yet I keep listening :-)
May 2014 · 859
Brazen
I have loved you
Though you are not mine to love
For this I remain
Unapologetic.
May 2014 · 901
Nos Da
Wrap yourself in me tonight

let darkest dreams appear 

Fear nothing now, for you are loved 

there are no monsters here
Nos Da is Goodnight in Welsh. I've been reading horror alone in bed again, so this is my sleepy attempt at self soothing.
May 2014 · 468
A fond farewell
You little ball of golden fur
with eyes that sparkled bright
may dandelions fill your path 
as you leave here this night.
You filled my daughter's heart with joy
and laughter everyday
Your cage it sits abandoned now
on this her saddest day
So bless you sweetest little pig
as moonlight guides your way
Sad tears have fallen, true of heart
on this your dying day.
My daughter has guinea pigs, sadly one passed away last night. It's always so hard to see such sadness in the eyes of your child.
May 2014 · 1.7k
Return to me.
Return to me oh fondest love
as roses bid their buds to bloom
and all of nature springs to life
to wonder at the bluebirds tune

Return to me when sun is high
with warmth and golden sheen
to sit beside me for a while
beneath the evergreens

Return to me on Autumn winds
as blazing leaves decay
and place your precious heart with mine
in hope that it will stay.

Return to me while winter snows
ring in the seasons charms
for I have waited far too long
to be back in your arms.

Though time has passed I still hold on
my heart it never strays
It beats for you, oh fondest love
until my dying day.
May 2014 · 1.1k
Muse
Funny how
your cruel beauty
fills me with words
yet renders me speechless.
#love #inspiration
May 2014 · 372
here.
I am here
do you hear me whisper
as your name plays upon my lips
do you see my smile
in the light of my eyes
as you walk untethered through my mind
leaving soft fingerprints on my heart
like the echo of moonbeams
that once lit lovers on their way
I am here
reaching for you
do you sense it
do you dream of me as dawn approaches
am I real to you?
May 2014 · 1.0k
Stories for the street
I remember you well
at the halfway hotel
dusty corduroy ragged
shambling shoes smiling
toothless and untethered.

You, shop door keeper
sidewalk sleeper
a torrent of tall tales
and misery sweet
You, invisible to those
who see beauty 
in possessions alone
while all you possess
hangs in blue plastic noose
from your weathered hand.

Me, the bearer of bread
hot soup for the soul
and soft blanket warmth.
We settle together
to watch the world wane
You tell me your story
hushed tones as sun sets
homeowner to street roamer
family man to castaway
as an eye blinked
and winter frosts left their bloom.

We shared our love of Cohen
as the stars forged the sky
you sang a little
with tobacco rough lungs
the sweetest sound
mixed with bitter tears
picking through all that remains
in the ashes of your life.

You thanked me for kindness
grateful for a chance at visibility
your gratitude reciprocated
by the impression left upon my heart
your face forever summoned
by Leonards finest song
I remember you well
at the halfway hotel...
I've met some wonderful people that live their lives on our streets, this particular guy has always stayed with me and I give thanks with this verse for all that he taught me. Oh and thanks and big love to Leonard Cohen, for the title, first two lines (slightly altered) and for supplying the soundtrack to my rainy afternoons.
May 2014 · 2.5k
The troll.
Do not poke the sleeping beast
that hides behind another's mask
his words not written to inspire
but to wound and belittle.
He crows for attention, 
this loathesome creature,
with boundless ego
and tongue firmly 
rotting in pustuled cheek
he will not be the thief of confidence
he will not be the silencer of hope
for he is the keeper of bitter misery
the captain of a sinking ship
not one will touch his heart
as it sits within it's cavern of disdain.
May 2014 · 412
fear
I fear that it is my fate
to love deeply
in a world without echo.
May 2014 · 393
Last dance, unending.
We spoke again last night
your sweet lips dripping a heady bouquet
I love you
I miss you
I need you.

You said that when we kissed
the twenty years since our last
melted away
I want you
I need you
I'm sorry

You said that if it could be me
and we could be we
then you would move mountains
to make it so.

I know I should tell you
the lies I tell myself
I'm tired
I'm broken
I'm letting go.

Yet still you play your tune
and I always loved to dance.
May 2014 · 645
Hope.
I will stand in petals
torn from blooms
and hope with all I've got
that someday soon
my heart will heal
and I will love you not.
May 2014 · 5.7k
Sweet Mary Jane
The marchers make their way today
through town to Cardiff Bay
with whistles, shouts and banners up
for sweet old Mary Jane
they're marching for her freedom
all ages, colours, creeds
have come in joyful spirits
to help us free the **** 

The rich, the poor, the movers and shakers
the blowback kings and part-time partakers
the rollers, the tokers, the bongers and such
the teenage goth stoners who've had way too much
skin up as they march while making their point
and meet up with new friends while sharing a joint.

Then down at the bay side
when the bands start to play
they'll **** in the sunshine
till the end of the day.
Cardiffs annual Marijuana March is today but I'm under the weather and had to miss it :-(
May 2014 · 865
The Cuckoo.
Take your concerns, sweet mother
weave them with your hatred,
your bitter contempt of youth
Take your forced confessions
like poison from my Judas tongue
while you sigh in eager disappointment
at the damage done long before.

I was not made in your image
this was not my crime to answer
I was the cuckoo in the nest
a child of a wayward child, 
given in hope of more
in many ways gaining less

Affection in monetary value
a room full of treasures
to hide my empty heart
loveless and longing
for a connection with something other than your stinging palm

My rebellion, taken in personal tones
was against my existence, not yours
Unwanted, unloveable girl
my constant internal monologue
screaming above the screamers
that made my speakers bleed.

my need for you has not diminished
nor will my love for you fade
there is no understanding
for the misunderstood it seems
we remain locked in battle
bathed in tears, questioning love
your scars deep, my gratitude deeper.
I was fostered out as a baby, my relationship with my parents has always been a difficult one. I always knew I didn't fit there, they never understood why I felt that way. I was quite the nightmare teen! Although I love them both dearly, they have never filled the void I have, perhaps I just haven't let them....
Apr 2014 · 501
Within your calloused hands
Take me home on broken bones
tiny steps o'er jagged stones
lift your star filled eyes to mine
breathe me in and drink my wine
sip it from my broken cup
as burning yearning lifts me up
to shake within your calloused hands
and scream your name at loves command.
Apr 2014 · 3.0k
decisions.
You,
(Like the ink on my skin)
Are indelible.
Apr 2014 · 611
instructions.
Love
Loathe
Hurt
Repeat.
Really annoying song on the radio this morning, the kind you'll sing all day long, so I stole the bare bones of the chorus and made it a little more relateable to my life.
Apr 2014 · 394
Why?
Love tears at flesh and shatters souls
yet still we seek it's sweet unending agony.
Apr 2014 · 1.5k
The "Cuck"
The cuckold sits with empty pride
at all that's on display
he does not yearn for awful truth
'bout where she is today.
he dreams of travels far and wide
and promises the earth
he knows not that his dreams are lies
a source of lovers mirth
when she returns as day goes dim
he'll try to light a spark
he does not see that it's not he
who owns her weary heart.
Apr 2014 · 480
Forgive and forget.
If I die in this moment
back arched and brazen
your cursed name like nightshade
upon my ruby lips
will my sin be forgiven?

If I'm still here tomorrow
alive in loves echo
all things returned to rightful owners
familial harmony restored
will I be forgotten?
Apr 2014 · 577
sorrow
The song took flight on whispered breeze
and fled the warmth of nest and home
infusing dusk with sorrow sweet
to soothe the village down below

swift passed the pious mourners now
that weep where beauty lays 
near crumbling stones of pitied souls
in decadent decay 

Onwards it soars o'er sideways streets
clean steps in tidy rows
dark windows lit with single glint
locked doors show no remorse

the melody it rests awhile
then builds again reborn
no joy is found
where sadness blooms, for she is here no more 

but death he will not linger here
his reaping swiftly spent
and in his wake on whispered breeze
the nightingales lament.
Apr 2014 · 727
We
We
The musician and the poet
such a cliched pairing
in love with brutal love
our melancholy muses
chasing shadowed souls
into the brightest of light.
Apr 2014 · 510
A dream.
Could you love me
if I let you
If I dropped my guard
at your feet once more
would you hand it back
or stand triumphant in it's wreckage.
If I offered myself to you
Would we litter the floor with our rags
hastily unwrapping eachother
with the delight of Christmas morning
discarding sweaters and shame
caution lost to the biting winds
that have always whispered our names
as our lovers slept unknowing
that we were never truly theirs.
Would you lay me down before you
Stretched out and yearning
and marvel at how your touch
has brought me back to life
while our kisses bring warmth
to hidden places
would you press your soul deeply into mine
while our bodies merge and meld
as fate intended
the weight of you a boundless comfort never felt
All I have ever wanted, in every aching moment
Is this.
Apr 2014 · 454
Night.
The world is bathed with orange glow
sweet dreamers weave their way
as darkness wraps it's heavy shroud
around the close of day
While weary bones seek welcome rest
and lovers play their game
I'll linger here and dream of you
My sweetest secret shame.
Apr 2014 · 604
Last nights support.
The girl she stood upon the stage
amongst the rainbow glow
and sang with power raw and wild
a passion all her own.
She sang of youth and politics
and of the poor man's plight
but as she sang the crowd talked on
ignoring her, despite
the fact they'd paid good money
to hear music here tonight.
They waffled on ' bout nothing much
the weather and such like
while all the while she sang her heart out through her lonely mic.

Guitar strings thrashed, her voice it soared
as though her life depended
on bleeding out her heart and soul before the night had ended
with the crowd engaged in other things
their selfies, blogs and texts
she left the stage with happy thanks
and introduced the next.
Apr 2014 · 393
Self portrait.
I am nothing

Insignificance itself

Spiralling rapidly

flailing in stillness

Words etched upon skin

black ink staining alabaster

bring judgement

upon my weary brow

unforgiving frowns weigh heavy

upon my already laden being

Lies paint my face in colour

while inside

only black remains.
Apr 2014 · 6.3k
Cruel pleasure.
These scars that bind my heart
still bleed at the mention of your name.
You love that, don't you?
He really does. The struggle continues.....
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