I once saw a magician
make a woman disappear
I couldn't understand it
she was there, then wasn't here.

Over many years that followed
my mind still wandered back
to the disappearing woman
in her box all draped in black.

Was it nice there, in that moment
When existence wasn't hers?
Was she tempted to just stay there
When the crowd called out the words?

When the box had finished spinning
and the crowd had settled down
she appeared there, smiling brightly
perfect hair and sparkling gown.

But out beyond the stage lights
'neath the make up and the glitter,
the disappearing woman knows
it's all just smoke and mirrors.

As blood drips slowly from the hands
of monstrous men from foreign lands,
we bow our heads and wring our hands
but the song it never changes.

The lyrics speak of death and fright,
the guns by day, the bombs by night,
another mother's soul takes flight
but the song it never changes.

As tempo builds, hear the melody swell,
a million babies born to hell,
we hear the slowly tolling bell
but the song it never changes.

The mortars crash, the weapons roar
to soothe vain men from distant shores
who'll never know the price of war
but the song it never changes.

Time slips through my fingers like
quicksilver kisses.
Forgotten dreams,
haunted days and scream filled memories mark the hours as they darken.

(I know not this creature, nor her needs anymore
she covets all but comfort, as scar tissue stifles her cries)

Spinning wildly now,
shadows heed my warning and run.
Silence whispers gladly
"a friend to none and foe to all"
Loneliness, my redeemer beckons with a knowing smile
and I am lost once more.

For sale, one heart.

In basic working order.
The exterior shows many failed attempts at repair.
The interior, hollow.

Many previous owners.
Sold for use as scrap or parts.
Any bids considered.

Pick up only, as fragile.

The whispers of madness now leach through the walls
and darkness it draws ever near
buried in sorrow, hope faded away
and left only anger and fear.

I do not fear death everlasting
nor the weight of a judgement long due.
What I fear is the monster I harbour
as I'm slowly but surely consumed.

I stared up at the mountain
she didn't notice me
this speck of insignificance
with tattered hopes and dreams.

I wondered at her beauty
She didn't notice mine
in silence we both stood there
as her colours marked the time.

In spring she's draped in emerald,
through summer purple hues,
with autumn come the russets
'neath a sky of palest blue.

Winter comes and how she shines
beneath the starlit night!
Embroidered with some evergreen
her robes of ****** white.

I stared up at the mountain
for countless hours, alone
and there, within her shadow
I found comfort, I found home.

Time to say goodbye it seems
to all I've loved and held too dear
as fate has turned her hand again
and loneliness has turned to fear.

There'll be no saviour for my soul
no prayer to light it's leaving,
no bowing heads nor wringing hands
in sad pretence of grieving.

No more to walk this earth alone
No more to bare my sorrow
No more to dread with every eve
the promise of tomorrow.

I felt my spirit leave me
she danced with my last breath
she twirled to one last heartbeat
then stilled to mourn my death.

She only mourned in passing
as others would have done,
then faded with a whisper,
a hushed farewell to none.

I went down to the river
washed the sin out from my bones
let the current take me over
cut my skin on sharpened stones
I felt the spirit move me
as I tumbled through the black,
sent my soul to see valhalla,
it ain't ever coming back.

As my tattered body surfaced
I looked back unto the shore
and knew that in that moment
I was lost forevermore.
I lingered low and lifeless
in amongst the tangled reeds
just a body filled with whiskey,
broken bones and evil deeds.

Let the water wash me over
let it cleanse the flesh away
let it crush my bones to powder,
leaving nothing to decay.
Let me live in constant darkness
filled with rage and zealots fire
only then will I taste liberty,
the one thing I desire.

You might think it silly
you might think it strange
you might think I'm crazy
or even deranged.
You can call me a hippy
a snowflake or worse
for putting my feelings
into rhyming verse.

My poems release me
from a world filled with hate
where everything's wrong
if its not white or "straight".
Where we persecute immigrants,
and  breastfeeding mothers,
the helpless, the homeless
and millions of others.

I yearn for a world
where we all live in peace
arm in arm with our brothers,
would we then find relief?
Or would hatred still flourish
in the smallest of minds,
passed down through generations
'cross the passage of time.

So, call me a Marxist, a snowflake, a hippie
call me a communist, bleeding heart leftie.
While you rail at the world with your ignorant view,
fearing all others who don't look like you.
I'll still be here like a thorn in your side
filled with love for my brother, with arms open wide.
Your hatred will fester, an insidious cancer
as you hoist up your flag and attempt  "Rule Brittania"

Scream

Hold your breath, don't look down
take the pills before you drown.
Pretty hues, a rainbow cure
to salve your soul, to make you pure.

Sing your song in darkened corners,
use your light to help you through
let your mind be free of borders
feel no shame in being you.

Do not run from your reflection,
seek the starlight in your eyes
listen not to others leanings,
stand your ground, ignore the lies.

Then when you are feeling stronger,
your battle scars a faded dream
I hope that peace will settle gently
upon your brow to quell your scream.

Out of the black
into deep blue
my soul swims
an ocean of tears
to a place of calm reflection.
Things I have lost,
places I've roamed
all distant now.

Echoes of a life shared,
the constance of a beating heart
are but strangers
now that fate has dealt her hand.
Stumbling through particles of time
within the overwhelming ache
of empty arms
I search for myself.

Sunsets the hue of broken hearts
Cast shadows on my silent tears
how can a love lie down and die
when nurtured for so many years
The bell it tolls as darkness falls
its solemn tone beguiling
a final death knell on our hearts
that once were bold and shining.
When morning comes we'll wake once more
to maintain the charade
and hope to gather up again
the love that we betrayed.

While sitting quietly where you lay
I heard the little drummer play
his beat went on forevermore
calling all young souls to war.

His beat it echoed o'er the  world
Come one come all you boys and girls
Be strong be brave, now is the time
to take up arms, to join the line

The little drummer silent fell
his call to arms a call to hell
no longer heard 'cross hill and glen
until the marching starts again.

I sat beside your grave and cried
for those poor souls sent out to die
in battle for anothers cause,
then spoke a prayer to end all wars.

Won't you come and raise a glass
to faded faces from the past
to those we've loved no longer here
so missed around this time of year

Here's to the smile we'll never see
outside of hazy memory,
the echo of now precious laughs
ring out from faded photographs.

Here's to the memories I now hold
the lives I've loved, the stories told,
and the sometime tear that falls astray
for those I've lost along the way.

I wish I had known you
before darkness came,
as the girl who danced freely
barefoot in the rain
but all of my sorrows
have wrapped me too tight
and left me at mercy
to the perilous night.

I wish I had known you
when my eyes were of fire,
all lit up with youth
and boundless desire
but that girl is now broken
held together by fear
and wonders if someday
She'll just disappear.

I wish I had known you
before fading to grey,
my hair like the autumn
my smile on display.
But my smile is an echo
that stirs in my soul
I wish that I'd known you
back when I was whole.

She bore the sweetest lips I'd seen
and eyes of winter fire
her beauty lived within her grace
her soul lived in the mire.

She moved as winter strips the trees
with slow yet bold intent
and in her hands the hearts of men
were torn and truly spent.

She lay down where the nightshade grew
at many souls' behest
she took their love and lives the same
then laid her head to rest.

On summers nights I hear her call
a coldness at its depth
it wills me on to take my place
within the arms of death.

Bow down your head and pray my love
For  all that's gone before
Rejoice and know that you are held
in love forevermore

The lark will ring her joyful tones
the bells will flower blue
while all the while my heart will mourn
this aching lack of you

Then when the final bell does toll
and all our hope is gone
I'll walk in darkness til we meet,
My ever loving one.

I saw you today
for the first time in an age.
Troubles drifted off with the long summer breeze
and swept your hair from your understanding eyes.

I heard you today
and all the bells and birds
rose in symphony at your laugh
as the sun envied the brightness of your smile.

In this quiet place I sit,
all alone, yet never quite,
to watch the twilight bleed the day
and bring the bounty of the night.

He comes to me as evening wakes,
His silent solace ever true
bewitched I fall into his eyes
and there I feel my soul renew.

Hold me close, then let me fall
away from you and all I know,
leave me lonely where I lay
down where the water lilies grow.

Loathe my heart with every cry,
**** my eyes with every breath.
Rejoice! for I am happy now
within this sweet, eternal death.

All alone and feeling free
nothing here to bother me,
blue as far as I can see
being all that I can be.

Walking barefoot on the ground,
not another soul around
a sense of peace is to be found
when the joys of Spring abound!

I have no need of salvation
My soul is my own
It stands defiant
within this mortal shell.
It bleeds as I cry
Every drop a blessing
to those who wish me harm.

I have no need of forgiveness
I am humbled by my deeds.
I do not linger on every indiscretion
they are the flames from which I grew.

I have no need of redemption
I do not hear the voice of God
he speaks not of my virtue
but I will raise my face to his
as surely as the sun rises to mine.

I have only the need for love
rare and precious in its truest form
yet deserved by every being.
I will accept no less, nor ask for more.

The little bird no longer flies
she sits and mourns her broken wings
her tattered feathers, faded now
will never feel the breath of spring.

She sings now for the life she lost
a silent sweet lament
such sad refrain, if heard aloud
would break the hearts of men

The little bird falls quiet now,
Her end is drawing near
and not a single soul will know
that she was ever here.

Oh how her tiny wings flutter
against my heart,
her sorrow mine.

All encompassing love
could never hold her.

She exists within summer whispers
with never a cold touch to her soul.

Beyond beauty she flies.
Never to be held,
Lest she falls apart.

Buried in my shroud of tears
I walk among the ******
I count the souls of dreamers past
Upon my weathered hands

There'll be no solace in my name
no mercy at my feet
as daylight crumbles into dark
your soul will cry defeat.

Yet should you feel my icy touch
and hear my ragged breath
fear not, for I will hold you close
in sweet unending death.

Amidst the rich tapestry of our dreams
We walk side by side through the dark
Each longing for echoes of lovers long past
Both blindly in search of a spark.

Through turmoil and riot we stand apart
Our silence a sumptuous repast
To those who would too gladly dance on our bones
and witness each breath as our last.

How should it be said?
Should it be written in pretty prose?
Signed with blood, distilled through memories of  initial carved trees
and passions spent
Should it be told within the stillness of a whisper
Or with joyful cacophony ?
Three small words bring me to stumble,
while all the while my eyes betray the thousand words needed to describe your beauty.
Do you see me now?  my heart aflame, held within my quaking palm.
A smile alone could free me from this incessant torment.
Your voice brings rain, summer sweet and oh! how my world awakens in your gaze.

Too long have I suffered silently
within a silken chrysalis of deceit
Today I rise in bejeweled glory
soaring above all that has rendered harm.
Above the black I glide in colour
my truest form revealed.
Such joy unbound has come to pass
My heart sings at its revelation!
"I am more!" I cry to a thousand singing echoes
"This world is mine and life, it's best reward!"

Silent codes
solemnly whispered
halt the silent scream
burning in the throats
of stronger men than I,
who care to remember
days free from the abyss.

souls reckon amongst scrolls
of all that is lost.
I find myself adrift
on strange tides
time no longer a concept,
brings a primal urge to destroy.
Sanity now a hopeful myth
Pounds at my brow
with circadian flow
banishing emotion to vessels unseen.

Blindly into the black
Sensations muted
this patient
impatient, in-patient
writhes with silence
infested with love
yet tempted by the void.
Seeing all.
Feeling none.
Numb.
A state of delusion beckons
Serotonin downers
melancholy malaise.
Survival is key.

I am scattered shards
many prisms
rainbow hues
cover black.
Blue ovals,
white circles
seek cures.

Words run deep,
cutting trenches
through scar tissue
best forgotten.

Untouched too long
by happy hearts
the broken self
Will sing once more.

He moves within the darkness
time slips and drips at his behest
while I, alone, become prey
caught within the glare of infinity
cascading now into doom laden cries.
Dark promises slumber, then tumble wildly
from lips too moist with rage.
He is the needle and I the ****** skin
He is every screaming sinew, stretched and drawn
He is the lie I tell myself
He is the ink in my blood.

Play me a tune with the bluest of notes
Sing me the words in your heart
Bring me to tears with the lilt in your voice
bury me deep in your art.

'Neath a blanket of stars with your sad guitar
Courting the moon in her prime
the simplest of gifts you bestow to her glow
A kiss in D minor, sublime.

A first bloom
gold against green
proud headed and upright
swaying slightly in the March chill.
Oh such cheer in her countenance!
A presence of mind
breaks through frozen earth
leading a crescendo of life.
Abundance abound!
Beautiful as a glimmer in a childs eye
She cheers on the dawn.

You mean nothing to me
You are but a whisper
playing upon my conscience
twisting the sacred curve of my mortality
Until all around me burns.
Ash collects the tears at my feet
while you dance gaily in their wake.

To you I am everything
Your first, your last, your always
I am suffocated by your darkness.
Drowning in despair beyond measure
I scream for you to leave
while yearning for something more.
Your touch, subtle, yet forever damning
will bring torment to my wanton flesh.

We are all to each other.

This goes out to all the anchors
The ports in storms.
The friendly smiles
the quiet hugs and handholders.
Those who brave the darkness
for the smallest ***** of light
are the most precious souls.

Like the coming of the seasons
Expected yet revered
the tide whispers in
bringing with it
the cries of the oyster catchers
to soothe my weary brow.
Foam twists and wanes
rushing to my form
only to turn tail
and reappear within a ripple of time.
This water holds my soul
She heard my raging birth
as I heard her raging heart
We are connected
My turmoil hers
her turmoil heavily mine
as the moon sits uneasily
upon her horizon.

Whispers surround me
my name murmured
in a thousand dialects
though I am alone.
Blue sky thinking
black sky despair,
unpleasant bedfellows
for a corpse.
Hope lies steadily,
her icy depths temptation,
her followers below
glad eyed and grinning.
I am loss eternal
I do not beckon to the light,
I only live within the black
of my heathen creation.

Tears fall like rain
scarring skin
as my heart breaks in two.

Who am I?

Swirling in a maelstrom, deepest black
as bruises form unseen.
Hands tremble like leaves
reaching for purchase
grasping for the last vestige of light.

All are beyond me now
Touch, a distant memory.
Sympathy tilts in time
with broken clocks
as impatience looms large
on my souls horizon.

Blood drips its crimson path
tainting all and maiming none
as temptation laughs her last
at my broken shell.

This night, too long to sing of
will not be my last.

Hold me tight against the chill
Bag my bones and bind my eyes
then lead me down to where you sleep
to lay amongst your pretty lies.

Whisper to me hymns of pain
Bind my hands with silver twine
then do your bidding, as you will
for there is none as sweet as mine.

Words like knives
issue violence
beneath dreams foretold,
a thousand sorrows
etched by slumbers hand.

"all is not lost"

a bitter platitude now
as I merge with the stillness.
My shoulders heavy with silence
I wait.

Did you hear me whisper
through the rustling of the leaves?
Did you feel my kiss up on your brow
as I swirled among the trees?
Did notice how my love for you
shone with the midday sun?
Although for now, we are apart
we'll always be as one

Did you hear my happy laughter
in the babbling of the brook?
see my eyes among the bluebells?
won't you take another look?
Did you hear my song sung gently
with the stirring of the pines?
a song of longing for the day
when your heart lives with mine.

I will search for you on rooftops
when the moonlight lights the tiles
I  will search in each reflection
for the light once in your eyes
I will dance with every passing breeze
and howl into the rain
until you come back home to me
to live in peace again.

The tree is decked with tinsel
the house is full of light
we sit around the fire
on this holiest of nights.

We sing our hallelujah's
praise the little baby born
then wonder at the magic
of another Christmas morn

The table's overflowing
the champagne sparkles bright
the gifts have all been opened
and there's not a tear in sight

We open all our presents
laid out for all to see
under the glittering branches
of a laden Christmas tree.

Then with some wine we snuggle down
our spirits filled with cheer
and raise a glass to absent friends
so missed this time of year

And when the day draws to a close
Its plain for all to see,
The greatest Christmas gift of all
Is love and family.

I tried to die tonight
I opened flesh to scarlet ribbons,
cast in your shadow I bled
as you stood and watched

I tried to die tonight
a new concoction swallowed
rainbow hues for the weak
as you sang a lullaby

I tried to die tonight
you shouted hallelujah
and I was ****** forever
within your gleeful cry.

You shoot words like bullets
Tearing me down
Every sentence delivers a blow
harder than the last.
You hate these words I write
they sit upon your heart like scar tissue.
"Not good enough,Never were
Never will be"
Your mantra will echo eternally.
You know not the damage you've done.

I lay here, alone
pushing in pins
feeling my form disappear.
Years spent searching
as blood seeps slowly
sickly sweet
against craving skin.
I will walk in shadow,
when dawn breaks.
Time will snap these hollow bones,
folding my soul
into butterflies
as flight takes hold.
This final girl
will be no more
than she has ever become.
This will be my triumph

Dark days brought me here,
ragged and blown I stand within the devices of my fate
My roaring mouth wide, yet silent
against the cacophonous background. Brittle now, this heart of splendour
as flesh is drawn from parchment bones
revealing only words, their rhythms forever etched into my echo.

There are no stars tonight
the sea, granite smooth,
whispers secrets to the shore
as it sits in wait.
Cliffs green with moss appear grey
and lend shadows to the silvered sand.
A lonely cry splits the dark
fading swiftly into the hush.
All boats are silent now
haunted by the sirens call,
they hold their breath
under a sliver of moon.
Silence rules the landscape
as the drowned take breath.

Blow a kiss and let me go
bid tempestuous fairwell
Such lies have passed these trembling lips
the truth of which I can not tell

Stand and let my shadow pass
through evening shades, to darkest black
Soothe my soul to sleep once more
with tales of never looking back.

Then **** my love to deepest hell
though countenance may break your heart
and break our spell to set me free
to live in peace now we're apart.