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Budhino Oct 2016
When I was 14
my heart was a daisy blue
Till I met you
It turned into colors
every time I saw you

Then I was 16
You made your first bruise
Then the second
and the third
and the next I could not remember

Said you’re sorry
And thought I should not worry
About the words you said
and the wound you made
So I forgave you

Then I turned 20
You started acting weirdly
You kept making excuses
and I got another bruises
Budhino Dec 2016
There is time
When i cry
With a smile
With a strengh
And loneliness is my only friend

He tells me
That my weakness
And emptiness
Are my best weapons

He reminds me
That I should keep on control
That a mind
Is an open paradise
Where my follower
Are belong
And that I am
The leader
Budhino Nov 2014
In a moonless night
A thought of death appears
Showing its shadow
Making its move

A death wish
Mine is just to come faster
They will see me
My body
rotten in flesh
Black in blood
It is dead.

While "me"
Where am I going?
Flying around the clouds
Dancing after midnight

Where am I heading?
My system and compositions
Have deceased
Be as one with the ground

Where am I running?
The departed spirit, the forgotten one
Who have died and want to die.
Where is my soul going to be after I die?
Budhino Feb 2015
Somewhere, someday,
Our home is no longer a prison cell.

Somewhere, someday,
Our souls are still living
Here and there

And someday,
No more intention to hurt and ****
Living as humans, not creatures or devils

And yes, somewhere,
Our home is safe and sound
The sun will burn us no more
This is for my brothers.
Budhino Sep 2015
Don't expect too much from me
For I am no savior
Or a sailor, like father used to be
For you
happiness is money and power and glory,
but not for me
I am a prophet in a desert
With no vision nor dignity
Searching for meaning
Maybe for god
Maybe for home

I will call your name
Under the dark
Of the night skies
And the stars
They will save you
From the night of terror
Budhino Dec 2015
When I almost reached home, I took some water from the ocean. It is as blue as the morning sky.
I passed the market, and bought
you a cup. It is as brownish as the earth I used to plough.
Then I put my best clothes, made of old rags. Sewed by my old lady.
And i walked over the plants, picked a blooming daffodil.
I did not have it wrapped, nor any ribbon to cover it up.
I ran to your garden, faster andfaster till I caught my breath.
I saw you standing there, in your garden of Eden, with a man holding your white hand.
He got roses. Red and white and pink and blue.
He got a sparkling bottle and a beautifully crafted wooden basket.
I just stood there, watching you. Watching him. Watching me.
I poured the blue water to the ground. Left the cup above the earth and the dirts.
Ripped my clothes into pieces of rags.
And i ran, as fast as the wind.
Heading to the ocean.
Budhino Jul 2015
Anna Nikola
Was her name
Given by her mother
Who lived without father

Anna Nikola
Was only three
When she climbed that tree
To read stories
About heaven and hell
Good and evil

Anna Nikola
Was not pretty nor ugly
Was not wealthy but healthy
Was enchanting and entertaining

Anna Nikola
Living with only a mother
She was a venus lover
Worshiping goddess incarnation

Anna Nikola
Planning to move to America
Hoping for a lover
Maybe like her mother
Walking down the road
Hand in hand
Sleeping body to body
And no one cares
Budhino Oct 2016
A body
a body
two bodies
unite as one
there is another body
inside a body
they call it
their baby
Budhino Jun 2017
Plastic bags, big and small
Red bull's bottle
And two straws
Put them on the top
Small blue fire
Do not get too burned
It melts in  a second
Is it going to be as thick as the cloud?
As sour as your life?
Problems go away
Brain and body energized
No more sleep or hunger
All we get is power
Budhino Oct 2016
I work and I pay
I have no game to play
I sit alone all day on Sunday
Thinking about my future someday
Future is scary to me
Budhino Oct 2014
I was as free and brave as a dragon when the sun rose

I was as dark as the starless night when the wind blew

I was consumed by wanderlust

Now it is only emptiness

Blurred patches, sunless ways, gloomy days

Everything is out of my league

Everything is invincible
Budhino Oct 2014
2 A.M in the morning
A pure calming light illuminates the room.
Father is not home, yet.

Brother, go to sleep.
Tell mother, I will wait for him.
Brother, don't be afraid.
I am here facing the darkness and the wind.

Here, in front of the thing he called home, I am waiting.
Waiting for him to come home.
Waiting to **** him.

How badly i want to stab his heart.
One, two and three. He'll be dead.
One, two and three. I am a winner.

For my mother and my brother.
Go to sleep.
Father won't be home.
He has gone away taken by the wind.
Budhino Dec 2014
I saw him kneeling
Saying gibberish of unspoken words
Hiding the tears

Then I saw him fighting
As darkness crept into the gloomy night
Screaming gibberish
Unknown language

He was a sailor
One of those guys who loved the ocean with such bravery and dignity

He was a loner
One of Flander's lovers with golds and coins around his neck

Yet, luck was fading away
As the ship he made destroyed by the storm
All of his men died rotten to dust

While he
he knelt under the stars
Praying, probably

I was just standing in emptiness, watching him and wondering

An old man he was
between madness and nilness
My father was a sailor. My father was nowhere, but somewhere in the ocean away from the earth.
Budhino Dec 2014
Among those starry eyes of people
The clearest are yours
Warming the cold of December
Turning the frozen into summer

Your eyes
Are black
Are medium size
Are naughty sometimes

Tell me, when will I get to see
Those clear vision of yours
Tell me and I will be there
Mi manca
Budhino Dec 2016
I pretended
that I was a red apple
ripe in an old tree
in your backyard

you found me falling
and held me high
praising my nature
and my feature

you rubbed me
with your soft hands
peeling off the ***** soils
from my body

then you pulled me
so close
i could feel your breath
it was warm
it was wet

until you bit
my red body
dry and cool
and you taste
a soft white meat
till it turned into brown

in the end
there was nothing more
of me
and you threw me
right where you found me
under the old tree
This is my love story, there is no give and take.
just give and give. till I have nothing left.
Budhino Oct 2016
we were never meant to be
like a pair of shoes
Walking in the same direction
always together
be with each other

it was not about
the distance
you were the moon, the stars
of my lonely, sleepless night
you would leave
when the mornig comes

it was about time
i let go
of your shine
I would sleep in the dark
Waiting for the morning light
Budhino Jan 2016
A sky never tells me that he is high and big and wide
A tree never tells me that he is lonely and sad or happy
A wind never tells me his power or his dignity
But men,
        Hungry for glory
        Hungry for power
        And for money
That's all what they told me
Even the wisest of all,
Still, a greedy
Budhino Nov 2014
I am as hungry as a shark in the ocean
Swimming deeper and further
Looking for a body
Looking for a pleasure

I am as wild as a lioness in the woods
Tearing a naked flesh
Licking the blood to fill its thirst

I am as crazy as Mr. Grey
Living in a fantasy
Wanting a goddess beauty
Making love endlessly
Amore mio, I desperately want you to get inside me. Well be a perfect harmony. One unity.
Budhino Sep 2015
Dearest black sky,
Please lend me your moon
And your stars
Let us sit around the garden
We'll talk about our days
Happy days, sunny days
Gloomy days, rainy days
Let the wind comes by
And we'll build a fire
To warm the cold, lonesome souls
And let us cry to sleep
All through the night
Budhino Oct 2016
I call it
my pleasure
my comfort
my best friend

I create you
Once you have to go
I can only see your shadow
Then I create another you
I keep you alive
Believe me
There is always a space
In my body
For you
Budhino Jun 2017
The heights,
Same coffee
Same lighters.  
Tell me
Are you a fighter?
In a crowded train
Or the empty street.

2 a.m.
Eyes close or open.
The lights,
Or the city you never know.
The foul smells,
Garbage cans,
Humans swears.  

No flower to be seen
Old tall trees,
Grey leaves.
Your hood or mine,
It's all the same.
Budhino Jul 2015
Stop singing me blues
Let'***** the fifth avenue
Then we'll have a coffee or two

Stop talking about future
Let's run and forget tomorrow
The night is young and
we'll get some more fun

Stop calling your daddy
Oh baby it's still early
Let's crush a party
Hosted by my buddy
Folks call him Brother Andy

And stop acting lady
You'd better drink the brandy
Or maybe try some whisky
But never **** that xany
Budhino Jan 2016
A good friend of mine
Who keeps me all night
Till my face wet from tears
And burns my eyes
Till they're red like dragons eyes

Who reminds me to wake up early in the morning, before the sun shows herself,
To get up and start a new day

It's always been Pain
Who crawls all over my body
Till it hurts
Till it bleeds

Pain, is a good friend of mine.
Budhino Dec 2016
I walk down the street
My heart is tattered, shattered
Into pieces like unfinished garments
Stitches one by one
Still undone

I see
People pass by
Immersing in their little
Valuable and miserable lives
They don't know
Oh they don't care

Maybe, they are no different
Their hearts suffer of the things i don't know
Maybe, some are filled with joy and laughter
Of a happiness i never know
Budhino Nov 2014
The raging star is nowhere to be seen
The skies are as dark as the sinner
The rain comes finally
Washing the devilish world
Replacing with the new petros
And giving the scent of ichor
Budhino Jul 2015
They said
She was walking down the street with no name
She was unadorned but adored
By the children of her generation

Then they added
She was
In an old blue jeans
In a dingy white t-shirt
She got a book on her hand
And a mark on her wrist

And they heard her
Or singing

She was young
Wild and pretty
She ain't got a daddy
Yet, she
Was the queen
With no fancy
Budhino Dec 2014
You disgusted me
Yes, you were.

We called you family, our guardian
Who gave heavenly promises with your ***** mouth
Who quoted prayers from the holy books

You took his life
You ripped his clothes
Made loathing  scars around his flawless skin
You ate and chew him
Like the wolf in the tale we read

You were a monster and a sinner
You were ******
No one would forgive and forget
For your sins
For your scenes
My best friend was ***** and brutally murdered when we were at the orphanage. This is for the ******. The guy who pretend to be our father.
Budhino Nov 2015
A darkness
Will never hurt those eyes
Yet, once they see the light
A blue fire
Will surround them
And turn them into dust
Those are the sailor's eyes
Full with glory and dignity
Conquer the ocean
Under the darkest nights
One day they come home
Those eyes are red and black
"A hurricane destroyed the boat" they say
Later, when their woman appears
Those eyes
No longer red nor black
They are white and yellow
They speak a lot
Indescribable language
Budhino Mar 2017
I am a sinner
Who can make you a believer
Welcome to the sisters
Let us walk through the fire

I am your saviour
I will pour some holy water
Let you drink and fill the hunger
Your eye, your eye
Will never be the same
Budhino Aug 2015
Last night
I googled your name
And found out
That you're one of those kids
Who got a thousand friends
on Facebook and
Hundreds of followers
on bluetweety and I-gramy
Then, I checked
Dozen of your photos
Your  moments
Captured in places that oh-so-fine
Your fancy friends
covered in diamonds and pearls
In a party with celebrity

I realized
You're a luxury
I can't afford
Budhino Jan 2015
You are the yellowest sunflower
The shine you bring
Will not **** pairs of eyes
Unlike any other
You glow in the night
Yellow under the blinking diamonds
Orange when the fiery ball goes down
An actual beauty
That is what you are
love i and am to theres nothing describe your affections
Budhino Jun 2017
Big city hits me too hard
Leaving the door open
And it always sounds so loud
Even till the morning light
Budhino Mar 2015
Let us sail!
Let us soar!
Let us conquer the night of terror

Oh holy father
Forgive our countless sins
Recklessness and unfaithfulness

Let us say
Carpe Diem
In the end!
Budhino Dec 2014
She runs out of the door
Passing the empty road
Looking right and left and up and down
Walking slowly, desperately
Finding shelter under the evergreen tree

Mother, mother, we scream loudly

But she just sits there tranquilly

Then she says, the ocean... the whisper... can you hear him?

Mother, mother, we say softly
There is nothing, only the wind and the sparrow's cry

Then she says, black sparrow or Sparrow the captain?

Again, she runs
Heading to the town
Reaching the harbor
Looking among those young and old group of men

Have you seen him? She asks the Captain

Madam, madam, the sea was perilous and vicious
He was the bravest and the honest
He was the tiger who roared against  the monsters, the sirens and the gods
He was only a man, unfortunately

Later, she whispers to the sky and the fading sun
Something deep and thoughtful
Something about love and hate
Mother, let him go.
Budhino Dec 2014
I hear the crickets sing
4 in the morning
And the wind blows
Acting like your hands
A mother's hands

I hear the man
Announcing the first calling
Loud, louder and it grows louder
Waking those pious men & women

As the rooster crows
The crickets no longer be heard
And the wind stops its job
And the black divider
Between the earth and the space
Turning into colors
As maroon as the blood stains
As orange as the dusk
As blue as the ocean
As white as the hopes
Cant sleep
Budhino Sep 2015
Oh, walls of my chamber. Don't be so mean tonight. I am tired and in a need of a sweet lullaby.
Stop showing my dreams vanish and dash into small pieces of sparkling diamonds and black stones.  
Stop reflecting my deepest fear and my darkest side.
And stop foreshadowing my future as a failure.
All I want is a good night and a sweet dream. A dream of a garden. With a peaceful melody and a right company.
Budhino Jan 2015
One tick
Time goes by
A cup of coffee
100 and 10 strength
Working foolhardy
Chasing the sun
Leaving the moon

Two ticks
Getting tired
Stuck in deadlines
More cups of coffee
Reaching goals
No friends
No love

Three ticks
Wrinkles around the body
Thousand cups of coffee
Feeling numb

Acting like a sword
Time stabs through the brain
Freezing the heart and senses
Turning human into working robots
No song to sing in the end
No memory to remember
Budhino Aug 2015
You bore me
I came to this world
As a baby
And you said
I was pretty

I was going twenty
Have been living
With no man in the family
All you said
I was ugly
Budhino Dec 2014
They said they saw my baby
Down in the city that never sleeps
They said my baby acting like one
Asking for direction
Begging for love

He was my baby
Hair curly and was a nasty
Rendezvous for two
Drinking our favorite coffee
No one knew he was a daddy

All I know that
He left the door
To the place he thought he belonged
Far far away from the sorrow
Budhino Dec 2016
At midnight
She goes to the river
For darkness hiding
Her reflection
Her being
From the world
That keeps demanding

When the morning shines
She feels new
But blue
For her reflection
In the mirror
Showing her true nature
Away from expectation

She yells at the screen
And later
Accepting the way she is
Feeling relieved
She goes on living
Budhino Jul 2015
O God
I've been handicapped
By laziness
They said it's the devil
And I said
No, it's just me
Budhino Jun 2015
Don't show me your black clouds
Don't give me your rain
Don't tell me your roaring thunder
Just let me take your pain

If today there is no sun
I'll tell her to come
If tonight there is no star
I'll tell him to shine
Just put your best smile
Then your world will be fine
Budhino Oct 2014
We are the people
Living in the old and ugly world
Running around the circles
Waiting for nothing

We are the people
****** by capitalism
Squandering to be seen
Sacrificing our true colors
As requirements to be those modern people

Yes, we are loners
Fortune is the only thing we seek
Yes, we could not care less
The evergreen will disappear

As the sun keeps burning our eyes
The heat underneath our feet
As if the hell is leaking
And the rain is leaving

Oh my Lord, let us scream
Let us find our ways to you
Budhino Dec 2014
A plain love
For you
Who asks for diamonds and pearls
Never enough
And will never be

You ask for the stars
In a cloudy night
You want roses
In a snowy day

Silent prayers
Silent hopes
For you
To be with you

Though I know
You will ask for more
My only flesh and blood
My last breath
Will never be enough
I am sorry. I cant forget the words you have said. The problem you have created. Haunting & hurting me. Giving me aches. I know, for sure that I will never be able to give you what you want. I've tried. You let me down. Though you've ruined my senses, still you are that I  want.
Budhino Jul 2015
They speak
of thousand words
They show
a deep affection
They sing
a children's lullaby
They are vibrant
as the fire,
ocean, and
morning sun
They look so fine
tell me, are they mine?
Budhino Feb 2017
The wind
Blew me away
Like a candle
On your birthday

The night
Was cold
Like you
Treating me, stone cold

I was there
And I saw you

A shadow coming
And my heart
Started screaming

You and the shadow
Was dancing
As my faith
Was shaking

— The End —