You only judge;
Or misjudge, the minimal effort you saw while my mind was gagged and bound
The many breakdowns you were a part of where no fix could be found
And the deluged of tears you hardly stuck around long enough to see hit the ground

You never asked;
About the profound effort of simply starting a day on the day priors rebound
About the countless cries that tried to break through the red tape but never found sound
Or about the tears I was told weren't allowed to form with other people around

Leaving me to question;
Can a life be built on the middle ground?
I guess the more important question is,
Do you desire to turn this thing around?
Is there any interest,
What-so-ever,
In seeing if a middle can even be found?
I'd appreciate your response but don't expect to see one come around

Fool heartedly yours,

The Crying Clown

©2024

You make me feel like I'm...
A test dummy
A punching bag
An excuse
The reason
The fault at fault
Wrong
The wrong one
A mistake,
Possibly your biggest ever
The bet you now wouldn't take
The "if only I hadn't..."
Bad in hindsight
A wrong you had to right
The time that's never right
Time you'll never get back
Someone you need to get over,
Move on from
And leave in the past
The pain in your a§§
The last time
Never gonna happen again
Someone who benefited from you being in the wrong state of mind
Your weak moment
Your young and dumb years, if you will
...shall I go on?

©2024

I'm almost most certainly about to break
It's only a matter of time but I hate the wait
Holding that familiar panic feeling I can't shake
Leading to a heated, one sided, debate
Pitting good faith against bad take
They're getting more alarming at an alarming rate
Basically arguing that everything's but what's fake is fake
Completely oblivious, a bad trait if you know what's at stake
Because BAM, in a flash, I awaken at my own wake
"Excuse me, there must be some kind of mistake"
But I must admit, the casket occupant is concrete proof I'm far too late

©2024

I do not like it, Sam I Am, I do not like the quite
I fear it when it's silent
Simply keeping the mind busy elevates the possibility the personalities wont riot
As a particular thought client takes centerstage the voices get defiant
Internal chaos runs rampant, so prevalent one finds oneself reliant
Negativity plays with anxiety out in the open in spite of the velvet lined casket
The soil tilled from conception permitted the growth of this poisonous plant
That sprung up out of nowhere, ill prepared, on an almost alien planet
Body longevity becomes insignificant when the need shifts to a mind and soul transplant
Whether a desired life or one deserved, you can't keep it like a secret, people are going to catch a peek of it
The remedy is absolute though illicit, hell, what isn't
The catch?
It's permanent

©2024

I know I've said I hate it but I love it at the same time
Two heavy hitters jockeyin' for position in the same mind
It'd be a high noon showdown in a different timeline
I'm fine,
You ever hear that slip my lip just know that I'm lyin'

©2024

I can only be the me I don't want me to be
I see what I want but can't have what I want to see
Taking a knee to self-loathing, abandoning self-loyalty
The pitiful pity the fool, it make sense then they'd pity me

©2024

Love me for me
or
Bow out gracefully
Schedule to leave me be
For the rest of infinity
If you're not going to do it discretely
And sever the ties neatly
I beg you to erase me entirely
Label me the falling tree
And I'll go quietly
Consider that a final promise from me
Or a threat if need be
Depending on if you need me to be the enemy
If there's any particular story
You're lookin' to re-weave back into your flippant memory
Then sure, feel free,
Go ahead and rewrite history

©2024