You say quote, "it should be easy to see" that you love me
Promising me, biyearly, that I'm your one and only
Your heart was supposedly given to me willingly
But you kept the key
So I wait endlessly for you outside the entry
I pine for you in spite of me
Yet you waste no desire on me
Avoiding anything resembling intimacy
Can't even toss me something phony
Hiding that half of your beauty from me
While forcing me to ignore that better half of me
Both instantly and,
It's occurred to me more recently,
Possibly for all eternity
Won't ******* like I'm somehow below me
I faintly remember you'd at least pity fuuck me
Now I seem to turn you off completely
Acting like you need to do absolutely nothing sexually
Literally refusing to be seen hand in hand in public with me
You constantly go out of your way to physically avoid me
The reason?
Because you know you've hooked me already
Leaving you to instantly cancel the pageantry
But is it to much to ask to willingly snuggle up close to me?
Hell...it must be...
Because you're giving off that type of energy
While ******* the entirety of my passion till my souls empty
Not s single thought on how this might affect me
You've more that just damaged me
But go ahead and ignore what's going to finally break me completely
No, really
Step back through the stage curtain and curtsy, you've beat me

©2024

If I where to ever get around to it,
There will be very few who would care
Okay, maybe a little bit
But they will roll their eyes
There will be scoffs and sighs
They will try to disguise the smirk
That comes with the pride of being right with no surprise
Because "todays the day"
They will finally be able to say
"I told you so"
"I told you he was a monster"
"I told you he didn't care"
"What did I tell ya, huh? He didn't want to be here"
Nope, not true
But what do they care?
Had they ever?
Whatever
What's true is I will no longer be there
To wave like hell to clear the air
And attempt in vain to clear my name
I will have proven them right once again
By not being able to prove them wrong
Just another loser's dance and song

©2024

So you stay there
And I'll start from here
But when I get near
Please don't feed my fear

©2024

I no longer dare to take a breath, can't provoke me, I won't breathe
Finding it too risky under the pressure of a thousand seas
Plus, you see, I must conserve the air for my self-righteous pleas
To produce more I planted the forest I can't see through the trees
Gods speed please, I've already been brought to my knees
By the artic breeze off a shoulder so cold it threatens to freeze
This house of cards I call a home sheds support beams with ease
From the inception of my very first organic thought
I've been largely ineffective at controlling my plot
Have I earned that first breath I got or not?
Probably not
The gut shot is how obvious it is that everyone at my table agrees

©2024

Watch
Just watch
Patiently
You'll see
If you pay attention
Just listen
Listen closely
Don't just listen with your ears
That will only drum up fears
Something they conveniently forget to mention
Hoping no one learns their lesson
Raise your hand with an open
Minds eye when you ask your question
What you do
With the answer given
Is up to you
But there's no knowledge that should ever be forbidden

©2024

Everyone that has ever said that they love me
All those who've mentioned that I'm their one and only
That their desire is to be with me, hand in hand for our eternity
All those who've told me that they care about me deeply
But have otherwise only ever proven to be phony
Compassion is something never aloud to me
History is rewritten by present and past company
Because when it comes down to the nitty gritty
I'm just a stepping stone obviously
I mean hell, just look at my track record then back at me
Don't even need a degree in forensic diplomacy
Actions speak loudly
Leaving me stuck in an unwanted and completely unnecessary purgatory
But no one cares about a no guts, no glory type story
No one cares how their actions have affected my energy
Turning me, molding me into the evil reflection that won't stop staring back at me
All sides have proven extensively that I am unworthy of being wanted, forget loving unconditionally
All I've ever wanted was to be somebody's somebody
But everybody says the same thing to me openly
No friendly faces and behind their smiles is a judgement and verdict of guilty
So I struggle with the fact that somehow they all agree
If the problem isn't me it at least resides in me
I've got a penny, two maybe,
We'll find the appropriate line to walk eventually
I just hope there'll be someone left standing next to me
Because an eternity is a long time to spend lonely

©2024

You break my heart every day and twice nightly
Hell, I'd rather be lonely
I'd rather be lonely
Than to be rejected by my one and only
I'd rather be lonely
Than feel unwanted by another claiming they love me
I'd rather be lonely
Than completely dismiss the better half my personality
I'd rather be lonely
Than watch you act like it's a chore to explore a little intimacy
I'd rather be lonely
Than to witness you go out of your way to avoid my advancements like they're icky
I'd rather be lonely
Than feel more unwanted than I did through my first 40
I'd rather be lonely
sigh
I can't imagine anybody actually choosing to be lonely
But here I am, holding out for my somebody to join me

©2024