Dead beat loner trapped in a world
Soon to be stoner not moving forward
Friends off to college, mistakes of the past
Keep him stuck at home, life changed so fast
From bright with a future to dumb soon to die
Chain smoking cigarettes, maybe tonight is the night
Sick in the head, broken down mind
Illness killed potential, future died those nights
Flirting with death while my love was asleep
Nobody to help me, nobody to set me free
One man army always doomed to fail
One man army, now a corpse so pale

I feel inspired
Inspired to write
Like my father and father before me
Inspired
To fight the good fight
For I know it's my purpose to show people
There's a light
Deep inside of them even if they
Don't see it shine so bright
For I know that every line
And breathe, breathed in to me
Is for a reason
Addi gave me 19
19 reasons I wasn't swimming in a sea
Of misconstrued energies
Lost in repetition
Everlasting patterns
They poud on but never see
Round and round they go
In the pattern of the beast
Lost blindly in a daily regimen
A material sin
They'll never see
If it wasn't for like lost boys like
Addi
Who make it there mission
To tell everybody
That these lines have a reason
Each year an eternal voice
It's all your choice
Addi sketched something on a night so bleak
On a page once blank
A work of art I'm blessed to keep
And written above those masterful 19 lines
"Put it in your thought bank
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to run away"

Each flower
I picked for you
I wished and wished
For your words to be true

But even the stems
Knew you told lies
Slowly, they shrunk
Without saying their goodbyes

Each flower i picked
Reminded me of your eyes
And the stems were are strong
As your permanent lies

There I was
Like a fish on a hook
Reeled in and cast back out
Cast out then reeled back in
The hook never even leaving my mouth.
Unexpectedly then, (evident now)
He pulls me to shore, (removing my silver trophy)
Lays me down to peel off my skin
Then he cuts me right open
But that's alright
A fish is a fish
And it's not as if he really meant to do this.

The mountains are never lonely
as they are kissed by lilac clouds.
Painted by a setting sun,
spectators of beauty,
a part of beauty themselves.
Free of responsibility, or any need to call
on why the sun rises and then falls;
the mountains live a perfect life
a life of no troubles.

If the skies suddenly cleared up
And my tears suddenly dried up
Would my days then, be the same as old?
and would my heart then, go back to being whole?

If another came by
And swept me off my feet
Would my mind then,
forget how I loved you and also follow?
Would my heart then,
finally give up on you
and stop feeling oh so hollow?

I’m falling apart at the seams,
Trying to keep you out of my dreams.
Every night I see your face,
A perfect image of my shame.
A time in my life where I went so wrong.
I’ve moved on I just want you gone.

The memories come flooding in,
from a place in my mind that I thought was dead.
Who is that man pretending to be me?
Was I really that awful?
I’m so sorry.