i crave to be seen but i wont let anyone look at me
i’m tired of feeling this way
i’m tired of not feeling anything
even when i’m standing here
i am nowhere
this isn’t living
you’re not supposed to just
let time happen to you
let me out
everything is a blessing in disguise if you allow it to be
it’s clinging onto nothing and refusing to let go
let me fall in love with you
just so you can break my heart
i miss writing
you’re in my head, and i can’t sleep
you were the sunburn i waited all winter for
we put on our favourite pair of socks and light some cranberry autumnal scented candle and try to pretend the days aren’t becoming painful
“see you next week”
we had no idea
i know this makes no sense its a personal one ok im sorry
this time of year feels like a memory already
you keep me awake,
i feel you in my veins.
you’re a stranger that i know so well
you treated me as if my spine was a wishbone
cold plastic flowers in a chipped ceramic vase
the sunburnt skin on my chest is peeling
the same skin that your fingertips grazed over
softly at 2 am's and 10 am's
but i don't want to
i miss you
i wish i wore sunscreen
the seasons changed and so did we
i spend too much time in my head
i feel like a ghost. i'm just numb and moving forward to nowhere. i'm tired of fake friendships and i'm tired of having no goals. during this time full of beginning i am immersed in the ending of the only good thing i had. i want everyone to step away from me. not in some tragically dramatic way, i just think i need time to create myself and find me because god i feel so lost. i'm craving adventure and freedom because my mind is locked up and terrified of almost everything. i miss being myself. i don't know when exactly i lost myself or where i went, but i haven't seen myself since you drove me home.
come back, i miss myself.
i drunkenly scribbled this down in my journal on august 21st.
you have to be lost before you can find yourself.
and i am hopeless and scared but i am on the right track.
it's cold outside tonight
the air is sharp as it blows snow around my city
i have wrapped myself in blankets
the same way the snow has wrapped itself around trees and blanketed the cold ground
and its dark,
and the edges of my nose get so red and cold that my skin starts to peel
but the sun can shine so bright
and it can bring so much light
the cold winter is brought powerless
everything that is bitter and cold
can be turned sweet and warm
with some sunshine
and the sun is always there, waiting for her turn
to show you how warm and beautiful life can be
seasonal affective disorder am i right ladies
happy birthday to the boy that broke my heart
this isn’t a poem i just wanted to write this somewhere
i still miss you. i never stopped missing you. but i'll be okay.
i lay awake because you are in my head. you keep me up to late hours that seem to be so dark and lonely. the same hours we used to stay awake till, holding hands and whispering about whether or not ghosts exist.
i am so tired.
so tired of you.
and tired of you not being here with me.
— The End —