As I write this poem,
I feel pain at all.
As I type the sorrows of odds,
Internal locust is on call.

As I close my eyes
Dark past haunts me the most
As the time goes by
My heart trembles, not fall.

Tomorrow might be another day
But I will choose to stay away.

I woke up late
And try to wake
the happy state
of my inner sane
But, as I move along the way
I felt that there is no other play
that I can raise
the happy state
because as I intake the meds
and remove the shelf of craze
I can see myself
lost in space.

That the happy state
was no longer my pace.

I already taste
the bitterness phase
of you leaving my maze

Stars beneath the trees we see.
As we drink the last bottle of beers
And I got sober because of this.
Then the truth set me free

Drunk and inlove to you is my theme
And when I told you how I feel
You laughed and smiled about it
And answered in a manner I can't remember.

Then we head home drunk and sober
While I was driving , you're leaving marks on my body
Then we reached home.
Love was filling the air.

The last thing I remember,
Was when you told me how you feel
For almost a year you kept for real
And that moment I don't know here

For 4 years of waiting and 3 times of rejected wee wee.
For the 4th time, she said yes to be with me.

And that is the best decision that kept me for years

Have you ever experienced
Having your motorcycle towed?
Have your ldruver’s license ground?
Have your work jammed ?
Have yourself broke till ******?

It is today,
It is where you relay
Your rant to your mom
About how life did dumb?

Yet, as you finish your day
You eventually take your meds
You eventually took the bus
You eventually realise how rush

Thus, as the bus ran it’s day
As your destination gets closer
You felt the need
To go home and get some beer
To feel the sense
Of belonging
And sense
Of living

I took the last pill
reserve for this wonderful evening
until I can only feel
the stabilization that heal

as I stare upon the ceiling
I did recall the rhythm
of the hymn that you are singing
before you left me hanging

after you have left me,
I kept on finding
what love is really hiding
yet, I failed to kept on riding

Past keeps on winding
until an idea rewind it
everything I taught was eliminated
because of something that made me haunted

For all the things that I've done
For all the dreams that I have run
For all that I am for now
Because all along, it was only you.

for all this time I thought it was because I love you
But, it is all because I did all along.

so long, my tiger

The taste of your blank
Made me wonder how to be black
Mistress of the past
But was never a passion of lust

An indefinite trust must be ******
As the time bound us
Do you even wonder how to smack?
Or you’re not bothered by my shock?

Dear, the games were done
Remember I told you from the start
Im only into flock
And you keep on denying my facts

Now, informing me how much you felt
It’s too late to get the melt
Be shameful because you’re still wore her pair
Definitely your label is bare

The only things I caress
Is the pillow of my sucess

I am falling. In a way of hoping or crawling towards darkness. At first, it was only a small piece of reckless emotions chasing one another. And, there was a thought of manageable continuity of love.
The days with thee was magical and special in terms of dopamine and serotonin rushing through my veins. Felt deeper the words that was light to mention. With split second there was a reply, an acknowledged endearment towards each other.
As day goes by, I felt the gravity pulling me downwards. A sudden shift of grudge and gladness. However, as time goes by, a mild sensation of desire of owning you. Eminent of catching and marrying you. But, earlier I saw the proofs of an undying relationship. Again, the sharp pain elevated. A sudden light bulb of me being a villain. A flashback of thousand words dispersed. The only words invoked. No tears revolved.
Thus, instant idea came up.

I love thee. But, you love thee. Once in a lifetime opportunity of being with thee. You must be happy. As high as you could be without me, in the circles you belong. I’ll let you be. As I let myself be. Choose the right path as God will make a difference in your life. I won’t hope of my own aspirations towards thee but, will continuously pray for thee. And walk through the walks of dusts

As I think about you,
my mind goes blank,
my breathe goes sharp
my head goes drunk.

It is a feeling of ecstasy.
rushing around my veins
loosing all my chains
like a butterfly flying all day.

All I know is that
we have the same feelings
same vibes
same directions

But, like an unchained melody
everything might be inside my head.
keeping all the dusts and trust.
twirling beneath rusts.

Oh and I think.
I like you so bad.

I wished to ****
I missed to go with luck
How I go down
And lick her tiny round.

I wished to finger
Inside and rolling linger
Deeper and longer ******
While I hear her moaning lust.

I wished to kiss
French or tender list
Little by little I go underneath
Or later, you'll go playing with it.

Ahhh, the pleasure I have
How I missed to **** someone I love

Honey, you're like a lemon tea,
and it taste bitterly sweet.
in every sip you make,
The more ***** intake you'll fake.

Have you ever felt,
Longing for something?
Rather, someone,
You linger to be yours?

Felt the heat of the waves,
Of your undying shame.
Oh, you no-no wonder why,
She wasn't afraid?

Afraid of haunting you more,
Caressing, pretending.
She's yours and you're hers.
But there was "never an us?".

Us is a big word
Full of responsibilities and sincerity
That kept you from striving and crying.
Until your heart fade in despair.

Have you ever felt loved?
Because I, never felt her,

Back.

I'm always waiting for the one to come.
The right woman who'll fall for who I am.
And even if she won't come yet,
I'll be the right one
For myself.

The moment I saw you walking towards me,
I was staring at your eyes.
It was sparkling, sensual yet passionate.
It caught me off guard.

The moment you share your life,
Little by little, I linger more.
As naturalistic ambiance seduces me,
Making me want you more.

The moment we walk in the night district,
It wasn't just an ordinary walk,
You keep on knowing me more,
Yet, I'm scared of letting you know.

I'm a slacky icky man, rather a woman.
You're a goddess fallen from the dawn
As we get closer and closer
I was so afraid in falling for more.

Would you rather be seeing me?
If giving you a chance,
To love someone like me?
It's a heaven pretending to be like hell.

The back of the moon
Doesn't turn as you do.
Like how you appreciate the little things,
That life give to you.

Does it make sense?
How your heart was fallen, too?
Do you understood?
Love was flowing into.

Through the deepest, cringe of his toes.
Following him like it was few?

Thinking of you trapped inside
Thinking of you crawling real time.

Does I,
No,
I didn't

And never will