I am tirelessly tormented by black thoughts that mercilessly mock
shame and scar my broken body.

My worked worn bones bend
as I will my bruised body to rise on shattered limping legs.

I’m forced to lift myself off the cold cruel ground once more.

I climb out the grave that
I
decided to dig.
While a dark hazed figure tries to bury me alive

I see the cold shaking hands of insecurity shrouded in a dark cloak standing by my side

As we look over the pit I escaped.

I intentionally let a sadistic smile slip. Laughing with an unwavering stare.

I grabbed his  old steel shovel
and filled my grave

M.O.I

I imagine I’M writing in Red.
I imagine I pulled this pen from
My Heart
like a sword from stone
and that my feelings
Bleed onto this page.

I hold my breath and I pretend.
           I pretend
That I am NOT drowning
       In these...feelings?
and I Pretend that I have gills
instead of scars ‘round my neck.

And ... I try , I REALLY try
to keep these hands steady
as I recklessly collect these fragments
of myself
But these sharp edges cut deep

and i try to see with tears in my eyes

BUT I CAN’T
       IMAGINE
              PRETEND
                   OR TRY
not any more.
because i can’t
hold on, forgive , or forget

All I can do is lift this pen
write
Then stick my hole ridden heart
one more time.

-M.O.I

Happiness vibrates in my chest
and echos down my spine.
Thousands of tiny electric shocks
Excite my bones,
as My heart beats faster and louder
than My tapping foot.

My chest is tight , like a fierce embrace.
My mind buzzes like a confused crowd
as My focus shatters like the plate
I dropped

Tong tied and speechless.
Out of joy I collapse
My excited bones
       Give out
                        Underneath Me
My tied tongue spouts mumbled riddles
While My brain beats against the side of
My skull.

My tapping heart inflates
My veins like a balloon
i’M Locked away in my body
Limp and Scared

I scream out...
       I am still here
The voice rattles in my mind
as I remain silent

Held hostage with a plastic smile
Fading slowly into unconsciousness
I let go
Comatose

-M.O.I

Let me set fire to the tip of my pencil
And use it as a candle
To light this dark room.

Let the fuel I pour
Be the very writing
That burns me
So I don’t have to close my eyes.

Let the torch I hold that scares
The monster lurking in my mind
Warm my cold thoughts.

As I hold my breath and sink
In a room filling with water.

The price of warmth ...
                  Is the little air I have left.

Please don’t leave me
In this cold dark room
With hope extinguished.

So I claw at a locked door
With a burning piece of wood
As I slowly drown in a cold dark room.

Trapped in here
With myself.

-M.O.I

If pen and paper should serve as sword and shield.
I would willfully wound those
with lashing tongues
as a knight to those without ink.

I would pass down my pen
through generations
filling countless books
with bitter truths.

I would tell a thousand stories
of beauty and wonder
in my written world

and mend mind and soul
in cursive letters to my loved ones.
that only they can read.

But a pen is a double sided sword
that writes in fading letters
leaving space to fill false truths

What of the history
in languages lost long ago
that’s rewritten by the victors ?

And the books burned because of ignorance?

Propaganda and lies
Spread
like plagues in our history books.

The pages become stained
by the blood of those written out.

So when we pick up our pen
and write to make others bleed
they do bleed ,
nearly as much as the hand we write with

-M.O.I

It’s time for me to hold my head high
As I wave to my demons and say goodbye
I’M finally winning a long fought fight
I will never let go of this light.

The weight that pushes me down
Is’nt enough to make me drown
I’M found anew with a better purpose
I’M stronger now and swim to the surface

The dark days still trail behind me
That is something people can see
But it’s time that I start to heal
Because it’s ok for me to feel

It might become a type of grey
That I will have to keep at bay
But
LISTEN
to me when I say
I will keep the black away

Now I have a clear sight
Of all the colors I invite
I lift myself to a
NEW height

Everything will be alright

-M.O.I

You’ve mastered the act
You’ve turned off emotions
Now everything’s black

I am truly sorry
I slowly grow colder
It’s always my fault
She breaks when I hold her

He’s bitter and angry
There’s pain in his eyes
He bleeds from his struggle
His will slowly dies

There’s things I’ve done
The things I regret
The problems I caused
I won’t easily forget

But i’M nowhere near perfect
And neither are you
Let’s all hurt each other
I’ve lost you two

-M.O.I