it's cold in this cave.
i see my breath in every shuttering exhalation i force
my throat is closing
i see icicles on the cave ceiling
she's shivering too
what used to be rosey cheeks full of life
now look like death.
i see little color.
even her blue eyes look frozen. gray.
her brown hair is riddled with specs of snow and ice.
this is our shelter for the night.
we share a gaze that we both know speaks 'i hope we make it through the night.'
outside is a roaring blizzard.
and not the tasty kind that you hold upside down before you eat it.
eugghh.
even as hungry as i was, the thought of eating that frozen treat sent a violent shiver up my spine, resulting in a loud chattering of my teeth.
im not sure how we ended up in this situation.
i try to rack my brain to find the steps we took to land ourselves in this damp, frosty cave, but my brain must be freezing, too, because i cant picture anything but what i see in front of me.

we remained in silence for what seemed an hour. the only sounds were our rough breathing and the occasional shiver and chatter of teeth
she was losing motor function…she had been rubbing her arms for warmth and it slowly ceased.
she laid against the cave wall in a slump, her head resting awkwardly sideways, and her arms lumped at her sides.

i went to speak, but i only mouthed my words.
i coughed to clear my throat and only a pathetic whine came out.
so i stood up.
her eyes followed me, but her body still laid lifeless and heavy.

i tried to speak again, but only heard rough whisper.
i grabbed an icicle with a wrapped hand and begun writing into the snow in front of her.

it read 'need to move. or we die for sure, right here.'

it took her great pain to maneuver her head to read my script.
she nodded weakly.

i stood quickly and offered my hand, which she took with limp wrist.
this poor girl.
i don't even know her name, and i may be the last person she'll ever see. and vice versa.

as soon as our hands made contact, i saw a flash of me, running across a white, snowy field.
there were large black circles on the ground, smoking.
i was carrying something. i remember a sharp pain in my side, but i knew i would not put what i was holding down, no matter what.

i lifted my shirt, was immideatly bitten by the frosty atmosphere.
ooh. i exhaled in shock from the sudden exposure to the cold.

on my side, i saw a grouping of multiple gashes, still ******, but crusted over by now.
my eyes widened.
Tabatha.
I was carrying a little girl. she had a large piece of glass sticking into her shoe, and couldn't walk on it. the glass had reached her bone.
but she was brave, i remembered that.
she did not cry. she was strong for me. and i was for her.
i held her close, her foot bouncing at my side as i ran for our safety.
i could feel every cut and ****. every tear of my skin. and it hurt terribly.
but i did not put her down.
we ran atleast a mile. the little girl who i did not even know, clinging to me. her only chance of survival.

I just want to be loved, but I struggle with rage
And this rage is from years of no love, and each day
I just try to find how to become who I see,
In my body, my soul, buried deep in debris.

And I sift, and I sift through the years of confusion,
Through the damage I've taken and the ever-there bruises,
But all come up with is more pain and rage,
When all I want is a new, clean page.

Why do I hate the world and the masses?
That's easy, because it's full of *****.
Now riddle me this, it's a little bit tougher,
Did God put me here on this earth just to suffer?

I'm no fish out of water, I'm a human off land,
In a world that I drown in, there's no place to stand.
I'm only this far in my life 'cause of time,
If it weren't for that, I'd be left behind.

In a world full of sheep, if you don't join the crowd,
And you're not the Shepard, you'll be left out.
So where do you stand when you have no place?
If you want to find out, remember this face.

The days I've wasted comparing myself
Could've gone to building my own skill wealth

To my own talent, blind, only focused on them
Thought no value in me, but believing them gems.

Rack my brains, put on masks, try to emulate all.
Climbed their ladders, not mine, and everytime, fall.

"Why can't I be like these people so great?"
Listen, you are, but their gifts aren't your fate.

You've been looking around, never looking inside.
You've got talent galore, but it's something you hide.

Learn from them but don't try to become what they are.
They aren't you, YOU are you. You're the best You by far.

We've got plenty of Thems, we don't need any more.
What we need is a YOU. Never had one before.

They were each gifted talents unique in their own.
We can't all do the special things others have shown.

But neither can they do the things you can do.
That's why they're YOUR talents. It's what makes you YOU.

Thunder booms
Lightning streaks
A storm inside my soul for weeks.
Tender wounds
No one sees
Reopening with painful ease
I heard your name
I miss your face
Its cold here, in this lonely place
They see me walk
They say your name
Whispers stinging 'such a shame'

It's true what they say.
A gift is a curse.
A curse is a gift.
That curse is hers.
And her? That's me.
I'm her. 'That' She.
That girl, who's gifted.
Whose curse, has lifted,
her higher and higher
To the point I'm at now.
You look up and you say 'wow'
I'm flying here, upside down.
I don't think I'll ever ground.
What feels so wrong,
it feels so right.
I'll never leave this cloudy sight.
Not any day.
Not any night.
Try all you want.
Use all your might.
I'll stay right here.
I'm meant for this.
My heart is home.
My head's in bliss.
I've got a voice.
I'll yell it out.
You'll recognize it, in a crowd.
I'm all alone.
But I've got you all.
More than half of you hate me,
but I can't fall.
I'm here for the duration.
I'm a fixture, now.
Get used to me.
I'm never coming down

I've got.
3 siblings that I don't even **** know about.
And.
2 siblings, who I'd never wanna live without.
But.
with 5 siblings, I've always been an only child.
Alone in my room, playing with my toys awhile.

I'd.
walk along alone, my thoughts my only company.
Wondering what the world is for, whats the need it has for me.

Confidence, It,
Never really was in me.
But, as I learn me more, It's always been abundant, see.

This pain inside my heart, it's what we call reality.
The life I want to live, lives only inside of me.

Nobody ever saw the saddness that resides in me.
The tears in my heart, they're never gonna dry it seems.

I've got a block. It belongs to somebody named Writer.
I'm not getting too far in this life I'm living, either.
My head is swarming, but my pencil is dull.
I guess this **** will have to stay in my skull.
I'm not a kid, but I don't think I'm a grown up.
All of my life, I feel I've let myself be shown up.
I've got it in me. But I guess I've got some demons.
Any shine that I have, they dull it out, "yeah Syn, keep dreamin."
I face my fears, but they always seem to stay with me.
They've been my longest companions, sad reality.
There's a spectrum inside me, but I touch both ends.
I try to live my life as both, but they just cannot blend.
I wanna Rest. And if I'm lucky it'll be In Peace.
But God said to me "Syn, you're not much help deceased."
I met Kurt Cobain. Told him the feeling's mutual.
To finally mute the thoughts I know unmutable.