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A perfectly lovely scene.
That reflects a beautiful city.
A-glow with white glitter
that covers the city streets
and glistening roof tops.

The icicles slowly come to life
along the sides of buildings
otherwise gaudy with technology.
Odd, how nature puts a wholesome beauty
into things that were never beautiful.

Of all the things that she can do,
beauty, and life are her talents.
Therefore, the lucky ones who see the ice fairies
dancing on the windowsills,
surely must enjoy life more
than those who just see
This poem was written 2-18-1988 during a heavy snowstorm in San Antonio Texas.  During an argument with my mother in law at a family function.  It was the only shared moment we have ever had to this day.
She thought she saw something on the snow dust in the windowsill
I shower you peek
I flash what you seek
I see a glint in your eye
your thinking of cherry pie

I nibble on your neck
a kiss, but just a peck
I linger then bite your lip
you squeeze my hip

You pull me near
i wonder where tonight my dear
your musk fills my senses
your muscle hardens and tenses

I think i want to feel more
so I close and lock the door
This sign is universal indeed
you know i am in need

Your love is devine
to know you're all mine
You know me, I know you
we know just what to do

No more do we guess
or try to impress
Our love is like a dance
during *** it's like a trance

My senses are reeling
i love this feeling
i always want more
waves crash upon my shore

always a gentleman
even when its just for fun
i love the sound you make
right before you start to shake

Your taste is intoxicating
and leaves me pleading
always over too fast
even if it could last
we couldn't anymore
so i unlock the door..
24 years of loving.....
I hurt
I think it's loss and disappointment from
"Hopes" that were never born,
Which leaves me so forlorn.

Oh, and I cry
almost every day now
and I sigh,
then he always asks why....

The pain in my heart,
Why does it go so deep?
the way I weep;
I grieve so hard,
they say I even call & cry in my sleep.

Pictures in my mind of children at play
a dream, a hope, never to be.
My grandfathers were veterans of war, they say.
Agent orange says "one out of four" you see.

Uncle Sam says "no compensation" for me,
No big family to be all around me.
I think I'll give up on me,

"Please make it go away!"  I say,
he can't,
and so he turns away.
Our future we cannot see,
afraid to dream,
afraid for me.

Going through the motions,
trying to do what's right.
Tried all the magic potions,
but  too much DNA's twisted up too tight.

Now I'm hurtin and bleedin all of the time!
Doctor says its gotta go, this womb of mine.
Adenomyosis, got into me, says I'll be fine.
But, no more babies! don't you see
I was not finished with my family!

I dont want to, but I know
I gotta go.
Now its gone,
still ***-ing
Now I'm not healin' right!
Its depressing.....

8 weeks now,  still not released
and the mourning has not eased
Anger abounds when i awake
but I can't eat,
so then I shake.

So I just cry,
and blessed be,
ask God, Jesus and the angels
to have mercy on me
Infertility is, and can be very difficult on the person, the marriage, the family and one's' faith.  A glimpse of how my reproductive diagnoses have affected my emotional life.
At a Paul Jones in 1960 was the start,
at the HermanSons Hall she stole his heart.
Her twenty told Adolph Hoffner when to stop
Ooh! He was handsome and a cotton top.

It starts with a soft shoe, or a boogie beat
he twirls her around up out of her seat,
off they go to the smooth dance floor
he pulls her in, to throw her out once more.

He smiles, she radiates, all so natural,
the two step, the jitterbug, having a ball!
So fluid and together like poetry in motion,
Number 9 was his favorite love potion.

About ten years later, it would be,
back at the dance hall he and she.
Me and my two sisters all around their feet
happy and singing to the country beat.
Then he'd pick us up, daughters all three
and a dancing family we would be!

Baby sister on his shoulders, us on each hip,
mom had his hand and could still get a dip.
He'd spin us all around as if we were one,
I can't remember ever having so much fun!

Sore feet, out of breath, on into the night
never remember them ever having a fight.
Dancer's move back, some room to give
Encore! More! for them to dance is to live!!!

The smells were "Charles of the Ritz",
and "Old Spice",
it used to blend so very nice.
The Texas Tophands were the band
that first night that he took her hand.

That's how she hooked him, she would say,
bribed a whistler, to look her way,
blew the whistle, so that he would stop
and be her partner, spin her like a top!

He's been her partner now for 48 years
had her hand through laughter and tears.
As their daughter I just wanted to say,
Happy Anniversary! Have a wonderful day.
My parents met  in 1961 at the Herman Sons Dance Hall in San Antonio Texas.; Married 9/2/1961. They have three beautiful daughters, and many happy years.; A poem to celebrate your love. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.
Cookies, Cookies which ones to make?
Cookies, Cookies which ones to bake?
Is it oatmeal for him? sugar for me?
Ooh! these jam ones look scrumptious (in the picture) you see?
Will it be bran for momma, or peanut butter for sis?
Oh, I could cook them all and someone's favorite still miss.....
I could wash, and I could dust & sweep and mop , till i'm dead,
but alas, if you watch, I'll be baking instead because I have cookies in my head.
Cookies, Cookies, which ones to make
Cookis, Cookies, which ones to bake?
Just a silly poem from years gone by when my miracle son was a toddler, and i was filling the time at home.

You have a father
up above
who wants to
fill your heart
with love.

Wants to grant
you forgiveness everyday
and enhance your life in
every way.

So have some faith
and try some love
and remember forgiveness
comes from up above and
is as much for you as
it is for them.  So

Accept your differences
leave judgement to him
and then you will be able
to embrace your
Could not get this one to come out right open to suggestions it just never would flow like i wanted.
Flames and Tears

Flames simmer deep within
from abuse that happened way back when.
Embers flare and others see them
can't forget and can't forgive them.
Offense is taken all around,
and then tears fall to the ground.
Once begun they flow unhindered
like the current of a raging river.
There is no way to dam the flow
when the tears refuse to stop
that is when the temper starts to show
the anger flares up
and dries the tears
but encites fear
in anyone near.
So they all shy away
and never stay
and then, day by day
have less and less to say.
So loneliness encroaches
and snuffs out the fire
which then feeds
the ire
deep within
and then
the cycle
all over again...
A cycle of depression i know well.....feel like Fawkes.
Far away

inside and out

Alone in my pain

cant scream or shout.

Wish I had a person

that i could call

spill out my heart to

anytime at all.

So many disappointments

too many misses

so much loss

not enough kisses.

Wish there were memories

of happy things too

not just losses

and feeling blue.

Tried to do it right

make dreams come true

just sad memories

when i am with you
Sometimes no matter how hard i try, it just won't come out right
Love was a mystery to me
therapist says it started when i was three
with a kissin' cousin who was blonde and handsome
this started when we were both very young.

To love and to marry
that was our plan
when I was a woman
and he was a man.

Our time together was swimmin', and fishin'
no blood did we share, just huggin and kissin'
cousins, skin so bare, someone had to know,  
what was going on when we would go....

Too young for ceremonies
even pregnancy or jail.
Too attracted to one another
to let family hatred prevail.

Can't help but wonder
what started our curiosity?
How it grew to be so...
intense, sexually?
What did we see?

I have pondered for years
through the pain and the tears
whether we were right or wrong?
I have rationalized, made excuses and lied
been therapeutic, accepting and cried.
Tried to release the loss in the words of a song,
but it always came out all wrong.

I never felt guilt
nor ***** or a *****.
But a nightmare remains when i was a bit older
when i had screamed and said no more!

Still he wouldn't let me go,
I'd squeezed with all my might
I tried to keep him out
to stop what wasn't right.
And my father couldn't hear
he'd been drinkin' and wasn't near.

Anger remains for my mother when told,
she became unbelieving and cold.
Doesn't understand my hatred still to this day,
doesn't remember her inaction made me this way.

So now he's a an old shack
where he likes to tinker and hide
I saw him once when i visited there
after my aunt had died,
that's one time that I really tried.

It is quiet when i am around
in his mourning and sadness
we don't make a sound
the silence is like madness.

No police were ever told, no testifying,
i was promiscuous, and must be lying.
My mother and father were to blame,
my childhood would never be the same.

I learned to keep quiet,
to protect family, prevent the riot.
My loss i thought, to never be his wife,
my pain was not worth caging another's life.

So, last year I kissed him on the cheek
and then I told him his grandbaby was sweet
and to call if he ever needed anything
and somehow fixed my broken wing.

Because I hopped in my car,
wished upon a star
and while I slowly drove away
thought of Montego Bay
and stared at my ring
and started to sing!

Poem Comments

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Insideme commented on Innocent Love

    The pain of it being ignored or looked past, the coming to terms with what happened, and then this.....So, last year I kissed him on the cheek and then I told him his grandbaby was sweet and to call if he ever needed anything and somehow fixed my broken wing. Forgiveness is the only way to move foward and it sounds like maybe you have a bit of compassion and understanding about his situation too...good for you, hate is a strangling rope that hangs us when we hang on to it. love and freewill to you beautiful one!
    Reply to Comment


    YOUR WORDS ARE SO GRACIOUS AND VERY APPRECIATED. Hope you and yours are well. Tlady

spbsdude commented on Innocent Love

    Were you only three when this all happened? Or was that where it just started Takes a lot of courage to write and publish one like this. I have written one called "In My Ten Year Old Bed" of my experience as a youth. Maybe I'll post it here. Alll the best, Spbsdude.
    Reply to Comment


    Started when i was three, ended about 6th grade. Yeah, courage, but nobody in my family cares enough to read my **** and try to get to know the real me, and I'll never meet most of you so its a pretty safe releasing place. Thanks for the understanding comments and for stoping by to read. I really appreciate it. Write on.................Tlady

Mareann commented on Innocent Love

    The way in which you shared your pain , is delivered in a wonderful poem, well written and expressed. Blessings to you, Mary
    Reply to Comment


    Thank you for your time and generous comments. Tlady

jec commented on Innocent Love

    Very personal I know ... and well done ... I have a desire to read the book that follows this poetic introduction ... I believe that may not be your choice ... thanks for writing and sharing ... jec
    Reply to Comment


    Think I should write a book about it? What a concept, never even considered it before, Thanks for the idea, and for reading and rating............write on................Tlady

stellar commented on Innocent Love

    so innocent indeed...and again love how you expressed this unusual happenings...i find these lines so cute...Too young for ceremonies even pregnancy or jail. Too attracted to one another to let family hatred prevail.
    Reply to Comment


        The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)
Hard to say certain things with the right attitude. But did you like it? or were you disturbed or angered by it? Just wondering. Thanks for reading...Tlady
In the dugout
Bases are loaded
he's up to bat
he swings and it's
a line drive up third.

Then it's first base
second base
third base
and sliding into home.

Afterwards I am amazed
at the trash and litter that abounds
that humans can do this to a place
it astounds.

In my disgust I look up
there you are still glowing from
the play,
looking at me as if to say
your next.

We walk a while
we talk a while
I learn about the game
I need a chair
the dugouts there

An awkward pet
my ******* wet
he lays me back on the bench

he rubs me there
hasn't a care
of when or where i've been
just drops his pants
and starts the dance
of an innocents last chance.

Pushing the wall with his toes,
helps it to get where it goes good again
poking my eye with his nose
its over as awkward as it began

He goes in a rush
leaves me in a flush
wondering what it was all about
left all alone with sorrow
the soreness will be better tomorrow
I'll try not to pout
and in PE dress out
A short take on a ****** encounter of the elementary  school kind.

I was created...
I was created to care for every living thing
to raise up my voice and to sing
to grow and multiply and to spread my wings
to love and appreciate all that it brings
to have faith in all that i cannot see
and to be all that i can happily be

*** can be such a complicated interaction
There are so many things
that each partner must consider.

First where "to begin"
There are STD's and also condoms.
There is maturity and
what each partner can and can't
emotionally handle, will
it be love or lust?

Then there is the whole inadequacy issue
of body, and perforance.
When it's right it really
a wonderful experience.  But
when its doesn' t feel right
emotionally or physically it can be so detrimental
to ones pursuit of happiness.

Everyone deserves to be loved
regardless of disability or ****** orientation.
I earnestly accept any
representation of Gods true love,
and yes kids,
puppy love is still true love.
and fills needs asked for
from up above.

Like this!?

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    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.
    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.
Just some insights on love and ***
My Lucky One

You were my first heartbeat,
got sick in the front seat.
Baby, what took you so long?
thought you'd never come along.
I dreamed of you so long ago,
There's so much I want you to know!

Your so big and healthy,
blonde with steel colored eyes,
i hope you end up wealthy,
with a few good close ties.

I cannot reproduce in captivity, i guess.
The ob/gyn doctors made such a mess,
impossible they said it be
tested, medicated, and cut on me.

I should have known they'd be wrong again.
I should never have thought it was punishment for sin.
Your smart and bold and happy and funny,
you make my life bright and sunny.

Four of seven, is who you are.
My miracle baby, you have no mar.
56 hrs of pain, to get a 10lb baby boy,
what i feel for the first time, is pure joy!

My arms and heart are full,
the doctors were full of bull!
Let's go see the easter bunny
and your jokes are even funny.

Our blessing you are
we know you'll go far.
Always know we wanted you here,
they just had us full of fear.

Uncle Sam, and Agent orange I win!
He won't have to go, like my grandfathers then!
Because he is an only son!
He is my lucky one.

He won't have to carry a gun.
He'll be free to have a daughter or a son.
The carrier gene, will end with me!
Finally, my heart is free!
I prayed for a healthy big bouncing baby boy.  9lbs 13oz and 21 1/2 inches long is the miracle I received.  He is all I have ever dreamed of and I could not be prouder.  Maybe it was supposed to be this way after all.  You have many talents, thank you cause of balance.  You helped me to see, this was maybe meant to be.  Peace..

The funniet man in history
died today.
A true power to create
and give happiness
left our race intentionally.

A man who could make numerous
toys from a plain stick.
A man who being human
sufferred to endure his
existence....I am empathetic.

It is a shortcoming
when we cannot even show
true brilliance its own reflection;
or have that source of brilliance
believe it; or even coerce it
to accept the possibility of being worthy.

For if he could have seen
all total of all of the laughter
that he had created
all at once?
Would he have been overwhelmed
by his creation? We were.

What if he could have accepted
his happiness open hearted,
then maybe he could have
found a reason

to wait until tomorrow
to see if it would be better,
instead of deciding that today
was the last laugh.
A lovely and man and comedian with a rare gift and a far reaching humor ended his own life. He and the power of his work will be missed
Southside Cinderella
Its about a life
full of strife
and heartache
until Jake.

I was young and wild
wanting a child
untamed and strong
but, the dream was wrong.

The life is changed now,
too late for hope now,
those dreams can't come true now,
too late for me and you now.

Now my heart is heavy as a clod,
How will love and god,
when grief and disappointment prevail
put winds back into this sail!

I fear I will hear baby laughter then,
maybe i will pretend
that the jealousy is gone.
I will go on,
angry, but will you see
there is no more baby laughter for me?
Just infertility!
Just an expression of the loss and disappointment of infertility.
There was a time it was f! that noise
then there was yelling at the boys
an alcoholic cacophony
we put the fun in dysfunctionality.

Only a wish for peace and quiet
then it was there
and there was you
and quiet you could do.

I had scars, horrors to tell
i needed to cry and scream and yell.
A listener you turned out to be.
A perfect friend for me.

I have talked it through
and here are you
quiet in your independence
but nothing to say hence.

I see your horrors now
and wish for you to take a turn
and talk it through and learn
how healing it can be to let it out you see.
Please, just talk to me.
Quiet men, i love one. He is what he is, there is no changing that. I wish sometimes he could win the fight inside you see, and finally talk to me..
Death blew through today
took a thousand souls
and went on his way
Nothing to give, only to take
just left tears flowing in his wake.

I saw him on the news gloom
my dad says he was ever present
in the emergency room
opened the door for my nanny
she said no it's too soon.

Religious quarrels pave his way
hard economic times make his day,
no prayers or pleas are heard
just collecting souls, in the wind like a bird.

The storms, wars, and accidents
make it necessary to dig holes
to take the very young and very old
and those that always sell their souls.

Yes, death had a long day today
so hard to see the sorrow and
the young and the old beg and borrow.
The widows and the mothers crying
and so many dying.

It is a fact of life
we must go when we are through with the strife
a quarter for the ferryman
or to take the incarnation of death by the hand
either way we cannot stay.

So much death and loss in my family and in the news lately. Thought i'd let my feelings out. Hope you enjoy. Write on...................
Peacefull lying there
engaged in your slumber
watching your warm glow of love
effect your surroundings like no other

Taking in your essence
addicted to your smell
your eyes flutter
my senses reel
Oh! the way you make me feel.

Your warmth and sweetness
open hearted and pure
A dream come true
one that will endure

Joy like no other
a new leaf on the old family tree
a chip off the old block
An answer to prayers
for me
This one is about you, With a K. (Withake). Just a memory of a newborn napping miracle and a holiday with the extended family. It had been so long since a baby had been around our reactions were exagerated to say the least. Hope you can relate.









Yellow butterflies
are flitting all around me,
I never see them touch the ground, see
their always whisked this way and that,
and they really seem ok with that.

I see them in the most unlikely places,
from sewers to castles,
ball fields and home bases.
They always go just where their blown
the wild wind seems to be their home.

They appear in all weather and all seasons
they've have had to harden,
they've had their reasons,
to multiply so well in our concrete garden.

I wonder sometimes of their motivation?
Is it to breed? to eat? go on vacation?
but then what would the point really be?
When your final day is only three.
Wouldn't life just be a haze
of noise, cacophony and rays?

Well it will be, what it will be,
but next time you see a yellow butterfly
light on a tree, think of me
and wonder why you strive...
as the yellow butterfly thrives
as the wind from your car
whips it to and fro right on by..
This is kinda embarrassing to me, but yellow butterflies are always a symbol of happiness and a reason and example to be carefree. I have seen them on my best and worst days and for some reason they are always a welcome sight, and try as I might I cannot explain why even for the shortest while they make me smile.....write on............Tempestlady

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