blanket of blue
wrapped around me
some time long ago

it can get hot and muggy
but i don't really mind
it's the color of blue
something new
maybe
it's mine

oh blanket of blue
how true of you
to finally let me in

i'll let you grab and tangle me
so long as you don't cave in
you wrap yourself around my neck
and linger there a few

soft and heavy breathing
as tears begin to spew

blanket of blue
how cruel of you
to leave me here like this

your soft touch
captured my sense
as i cry here for you

you wrap yourself a little tighter
dashing away my hope
you sure love turning my lips
to your shade of blue

I have these fingers
that are slower then my thoughts
in my mind I am afraid
that I will get caught
in the tangle of a world that trys to **** me with every swirl
my world is neither turned upside down
but rather reverse
in the way I walk
with the things I say
but all I couldn't do was talk
I dont want to ask for help
But instead scream within my eyes
that I am not alright
and would like some company right next to me
but no
I cant even ask for that
cause I have issues that include trusting ones who can love
I want to fix this by myself
but I know better then to go looking somewhere else
and all I need is just to breath and tell myself I'll be okay

running, running, running gears,
quickly, smoothly,
running, running, running gears,
all towards the same goal,
running, running, running,
pop,
one jumps out, the gears continue,
running, running, running gears,
it lays there, useless,
running, running.. running...
it joins the pile as the gears continue
running... running.....

i run my hands
through her
imperfect hairs
wanting to feel
each and every one them
my slender fingers
combe the knots gently
it was soft and smooth
from much use
of hair products
her ginger strans
fell around her beautiful face
pale
paler then what its
supposed to be
skin white as paper
as dark shades
hung below her
long mascara lashes
my eyes overflowed
with tears that were always
never ment to be seen
they
drip
drip
down my face
falling onto the dry crimson
that matted her beautiful hair
the scent so thick
i could feel myself suffocating
in the scent of her own blood

Callused fingers run along the strings of the chord
A riveting hum echos through the wood
A note or two before it starts
The riveting beat of your own heart

i have always wondered why i wrote from a boys perspective. is it easier. i dont know. i make sentences about boys who find love in girls. weird. i cant say. its not that i too am attracted to girls. its more or less that i write these boys to love these girls because thats how i want a boy to feel and think about me. i suppose so. but i believe other girls deserve these boys then me. for i dont believe these words are ment for me. i create these boys through sewn words for the girls who have wanted someone to look at them like they want boys to. to talk to them like they want boys to. to feel like they want that special someone to. ah. what even is this. maybe i write nothing and have bad rythme. who knows. its hard to opinionize myself. but i guess this will suffice.

You are my dainty little flower,
I love the little things about you
You are the reason why I love

I love you dainty little flower
So delitcate and fragile
Your colors stand out from the green
Dainty little flower, will you allow me to pick you
Are you grounded to the ground
Or will you snap easily off your stem

Dainty little flower, please last long in the winter
The frost will protect you from the bitter cold layers
Please stay safe until the next spring
Because I love you beautiful little flower

The sun shone bright
against the clear blue sky
The waves pushed to and fro
making paste from the sand

Seagulls cried to the others ashore
as their shadows shaded my eyes
A cool ocean breeze passed through
oh it feels so grand

I lift my eyes up to the sky as
skin stretches into a smile
I wish to shout but I like it
how I could be here forever

All I can hear is someting that
stands from a mile
A being, no, somebody, no, either way
something kept calling never

It only lingers in my head but
soon I was walking to the body
The water was cold and warm
as it gently licked at my feet

The water was like a friend
inviting me in like I was cloddy
Yet as my toes dug slowly in the sand
my feet walking deeper beneathe

This is very much a situation
I find the ocean to be very funny
And so I laugh
I laugh until my sides hurt

The water is now up to my neck
my body slowly turning gummy
I just stand there
salt clings onto my shirt

The ocean gently rocks me
as it takes me away from the pain
And which I call to life
I will be alright

i can feel your arms wrap around me like a big soft blanket
your smooth fingers graze my head gently
the darkness of your cloak is so soothing as if the colors itself could envelope me
you smell of nothing only a soft scent of something fresh yet old
you whispher sweet nothings in my ear telling me to not let go
my eyes droop into the warmth
tired and exausted
but then i sense the scent of something sweet
my body awakens as something walks nearer
the warmth of a light drives away the comfort of the cloak
i feel bare yet warm
my eyes open again revealing a child who wears a yellow dress
barely reaching above their knees
it smiles at me
such happiness pours into me
i crack a smile
it holds a hand for me to take
i give it a finger its tiny hands grasp around it
pulling me somewhere
we begin to walk my eyes widening
i rip my finger from its grasp
it looks confused but i only shake a head my body trembles
i run back to the cloak
for its arms to devour me again
the familiar warmth kisses me as the process starts over again
the cloak whispers sweet nothings to me
like a mother comforting her child
she says
theres nothing for you but me

day by day i realize
everything i miss about you
was never there in the first place

-the person i fell in love with was a mirage