I sit in the crowded lecture hall,
Surrounded by faces, not talking at all.
I try to blend in, to fit the mold,
But inside, I feel so withold.

I came here to learn and grow,
To find my place, to let my soul flow.
But as I listen to the professor speak,
I feel so lost, so weak.

I crave a place where I belong,
Where I can be myself, and sing my own song.
But until then, I'll keep on trying,
Hoping one day, I'll stop denying.

For though I may feel misplaced,
I know I am loved and embraced,
By those who care, and by the stars above,
Guiding me with endless love.

It’s like a disease
Spreading
All over my body

Unfortunately

This disease
Is spreading fast
Without a cure
                                     And Only I know about it

I let my hand slide
Slide down of the side
Straight - curve - straight - curve - straight
Then I grab
hard
I hate
Hate the love I feel

Mama says

Find a man
            that makes you happy
Find a man
            that takes care of you
Find a man
            that loves you beyond limits
Find a man
            that will cherish you
Find a man
            that is loyal and trusting


Dear Mama,
I found him

But Mama, what do I comprimise?

We both know we know and yet          we     don't       know

Why
is hiding easier
than telling?

Why
is secrets
the best solution?

Why
does
it
continue?


I suppose I'm not better
all I do is hide
the proof I find

I don't want to keep doing it


I can't

Sometimes
You forget
that I'm a real person

We talk love
We talk future
We talk us

We say
We want the same
We will take care of
       eachother

Still

I'm alone
on making us

                                                             ­  Us

I was DREAMING

I was PLEASING

I was LOVING

I was FORGIVING
__

I'm SCREAMING

I'm ABSORBING

I'm HURTING

I'm RELIVING

All night
All day

You seem so in love with me

All night
All day

You look so perfectly at me

I keep seeing the future to be
Between you and me

But when alone
You focus on your own


Knowing well I'm still here
You rather risk my disappear


than changing into the same gear

I close my eyes
hoping i won't find
the image of you
behind the tears of mine

I open my ears
fearing
your voice
still being there

I close my lips
hoping they wont feel
the everlasting
touch of your kiss

I open my heart's corridor
fearing
someone new
only will find
the broken pieces

from you

It might have been a week since last
What do I know
I don't think about when, where or who

You think so highly of yourself as I look at you
with tease in my eyes
                 but oh baby
it's just a disguise
You are not the one
Not for me

                                                    But easy

In the moment the only thing I see
is you pleasuring me
When I'm done
I leave you
like a piece of toy
left filled with joy
                                                    But easy
It's just for a time
you got the prime
When i find
something new  
You have been chewed

I leave you wanting more
Letting you know I'm out to explore

                    sorry boo
I'm not for you