I fear doing something wrong
Speaking the wrong way
Dressing the wrong way
Acting the wrong way

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear being in trouble
Talking when I shouldn’t
Doing things when I shouldn’t
Speaking when I shouldn’t

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear being wrong
Answering incorrectly
Acting incorrectly
Doing incorrectly

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear judgement
Speaking oddly
Dressing oddly
Acting oddly

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear commitment
Loving someone forever
Working a job forever
Taking care of a child forever

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear independance
Feeding myself alone
Doing my taxes alone
Living completely alone

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear ignorance
Coming off as stupid
Acting like I’m stupid
Speaking like I’m stupid

My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I fear other people
Their anger towards me
Their judgement towards me
Their love for me


My lungs fill with rocks
Heat runs through my body
My heart beats too fast
My limbs shake

I question the reliability of forever
When someone says
“I’ll love you forever”
Then stops loving you
Your faith in love begins to wane
If your heart is broken enough times
You don’t have enough of it
To believe in forever

The pain ripped through my body
Tearing apart my muscles

Electricity shot through my arms
Sending sparks down my veins

My heart pounded against its cage
Each thump threatening to break free

My stomach boiled in its own acid
Sizzling as the bile rose in my throat

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks
Searing my skin as they trailed

One word drummed through my mind
Never
Each time it hammered my skull shook
        Never
The hopeless finality of Never

It screamed in a skull splitting screech
        Never
would I be happy
        Never
would I be myself
        Never
would I be free.

Is my heart mistaken?
They tell me it isn’t right

How will I get into heaven?
Without losing a part of me
I won’t get into heaven

Maybe I don’t want heaven

Is anybody out there?
I'm screaming but no one seems to hear

When words are spoken into darkness do they lose their power?

These red lines cover my paper skin
____________________
­Like a pen dragged
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­These red lines slice through my paper skin
___________________
­My pen breaks
___________________
­Red bleeds
__________________­
Covering the page
____________________
­Every night
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over......
________________­__

Some times I wake up missin' you
Some times I wake up glad your gone
Either way its still gonna hurt

Like a knife to the back
Like glass to my gut
Its all gonna hurt

Either way it still hurts

Like a hole in my chest
Like blood on my arms
You still feel the pain

Either way it still hurts

I like someone I shouldn't
The one person I can't have
To me food is the enemy
It makes me fat it takes away my bones
I wish I could say I don't get nervous
But my hand is constantly tapping
Giving me away
I dress more like the opposite gender than my own
I'm more other than either side
I know one day I'll get it but right now its hard

This noose is my only friend in the world now

I see my reflection
I hate what I see
I punch the glass
My knuckles bleed
I'm shattered
Pick up a piece
Slit my wrist
I bleed, I bleed, I bleed, I bleed, I bleed, I bleed, I blee........

911 what's your emergency*

I'm dying. There's blood everywhere.

Stay calm. Can you tell me where you are?

No I just need someone to know. I hope when this is over I'm going to be someone new.

Can you tell me where you are?

The cemetery. Don't bother sending anyone I'm already gone

-The line dies-

Paramedics arrive on the scene to find a rotting corpse as if its been there for weeks. The police investigate, but the truth is never found out. Or was it there from the beginning?

This glass surface shows myself
It shows how I look, how I twitch
It shows my kinks and flaws
I see how big I am, over run with fat
I see how I wish I looked
Eat an apple go on a run
Eat fruits and veggies
  This glass surface shows myself
It shows my face, my slight collar bone
It shows my pale skin and dull hair
I see I've gotten bigger, wider than before
I see how I wish I looked
Eat some granola maybe some water
Skip a meal maybe two
  This glass surface shows myself
It shows my ribs and my hips
It shows my sullen face and jutting bones
I see I'm still big, as fat as before
I see how I wish I looked
Fast today, Fast tomorrow
Drink some water and have a *******
  This glass surface shows myself
It shows a skeleton with skin
It shows my brown eyes, void of light
I'm bigger than I'd ever thought was possible
I no longer see how I wish I looked, just fat
Fast today, Fast tomorrow
Fast the next week and the week after
Stop consuming stop the fat
If you don't eat you can't gain

Most people don't know this but only 1 out of 5 guys will be diagnosed with anorexia and 2 out of 3 girls will be diagnosed with anorexia. People think guys can't have it. Well truth be told they can and they do diagnose or not. People really do this, they hate them selves because a piece of glass said to. Society just fuels it. I'll be honest and say that this is true for me.
                 ~<>~Jinxx~<>~

I love
You always

Can you hear me!?
Andy!?
Andy can you see me?!
Come on Andy!
Don't give up now!
Please don't give up. I love you, know that and please hang on. Please.....

You've given me hope and I can't thankyou more

You picked me up
You laid me down
You put the pieces back together
You made me whole

You gave me light when I had none
You've helped me through
You've been at my side when things went rough
You've been my friend even when I wasn't the best one back

Because of you,
I play basketball
I know how to say food
I've healed faster
I'm not scared anymore

You are my true guardian angel and I thank you a thousand times for it.

Sitting is my only choice
I rolls slowly down the halls
I don't really have a voice
No one ever seems to hear my calls

******* the gloves of black
Pushing and pushing all day
My teachers think I tend to slack
I really have a lot to say

It's harder than you think to be me
To not be able to walk
And not be able to see
People tend to think I can't talk

I wish the world could see it
What it's like to live on wheels
You can't do anything alone
You need help and more help.....

Dear world of writers,
                                         I am a writer as well, but I don't have the simplest life. My mother died when I was young. My dad dumped me into foster care and left. I can't walk but basketball is still my game. I can play guitar better than most pros and I can sing better too. But I'm blind. I'm a bitter person most of the time, but it's not like I really have friends. I get picked on at school for being the freak kid. They push me into walls and call me names I can't repeat. They physically beat and harass me. Today will be my last write. Goodbye.

The dark is my cloak
My hiding spot
The wheel is my friend
Forever moving me

I feel the heat of day
The cool of night
But no longer see the sky
Or the glimmering stars

The life I once had is gone
But this is one I cherish
Every moment counts
You never know when it will be your last

They whisper in the halls
They spread a simple rumor
The rumor turns to truth
They believe why shouldn't you?

They point and gasp
There's the *****
She bangs three guys a night
She's aborted nine kids so far

Find your voice
Speak up, to the people who bring you down
Stand tall, stand strong
Fight through it all

They point in the halls
They whisper and giggle
They throw food at lunch
They laugh so why isn't it funny?

They yell, ******
They write hate words across their locker
There he is the gay of the year
Hey twinkle toes! Going somewhere?

Find your voice
Speak up, to the people who bring you down
Stand tall, stand strong
Fight through it all

They scream and they beat
They cut and they bleed
They loop a rope
They cry so why doesn't someone save them?

They cry and they weep
The attend the service
She was a daughter and a sister
He was a brother supporting his family

Find your voice
Speak up, to the people who bring you down
Stand tall, stand strong
Fight through it all

I slit my own throat with a razor sharp feather
I drown in the think wet liquid
Slowly dying a painful death
I sink down, down, down
Deep into the fires of hell
I bleed into the air and suffocate on my own blood
My body burns away leaving me a naked soul
I fall down, down, down
I breathe in the ashes and the smoke
I feel the fire burning my skin
I seep into the earth *down, down, down

You heard my cries
You saw the good in me
You don't care that I can't see
You've lifted my spirits
You've given me hope
I know tomorrow will be better,
Just because of what you said
Thankyou

Knives and pens cut through my paper skin
I write and write and write
You cut me open and bleed me out
I cry but you don't seem to care
Knives and pens cut through me
My notebook holds my thoughts
You shred it down without mercy
I scream but you don't seem to hear
Knives and pens cut through my paper skin
I write a note, a cry for help
You tear apart my hope
I bleed but you don't seem to see
Knives and pens cut through me
The ink seeps through my sleeve
The blood pours into pools
I'm dying and you walk away
Knives and pens cut through to my paper heart

Darkness is my blanket
Pain is my pillow
My blood pours out
My thoughts are almost as dark

Tears bleed from my eyes
They seep back into my skin
My eyes sink back
White takes the front

Taken over by my demons
Red and black clouded together
Death coming now
Over and over and over

my mind is lost
my heart is lost
my sight is lost /
my soul id lost
come find me
i wonder alone searching dor you
you font seem to care
your soul diminishes without a trace
yourw a shell of what you used to be
i search for you
but you dont seeem to want to be found

My heart beats fast
My head throbs
I stare forever searching
The inky world fills my vision
Nightmares when I close my eyes
Screams in the night
I look hard
I really do
For just a glimpse of him
My head aches from the looking
But I know it'll never work
I succumb to the black
I finally except the fact that I'm blind

1,2,3
One after the other they spread
The possible names filling my head
Unmarked graves from after the war
The possibilities making my heart soar
4,5,6
How many people are buried you think?
The ground unfoot so soft that you sink
Piles of dirt, dying grass, and elm trees
Filled with soldiers who've traveled across the seas
7,8,9
The clouds cover the sky over head
My feet start to drag, heavy as lead
I march on forward as the clouds grow darker
Not a single grave has a marker
10,11,12
A figure looms in the distance
I pick up the pace and match his stance
"It's time?" I asked
The figure nodded, The grimreaper unmasked
13,14,15*
A new unmarked grave is found
They don't dare disturb the ground
My body lies inside, killed by the hand of death
I guess that's what happens when a guy plays with meath
*16,17,18...

There is absolutely
No one in this world
That can say that you can't.
Only you can set that limitation
-Andy Biersack, BlackVeilBrides

Roses are red,
That much is true,
Violets are purple,
Not f*cking blue,
BVB soldiers,
Are more than just fans,
We are a family,
And if you ever,
Hurt one of the guys,
We promise we'll find you,
And that you'll die

When life gets you down
Remember it could be worse
You could be me
You could be jinxxed
You could be stuck in a well
You could be lost in the woods
When life gets you down
Remember it could be worse
You could be me
You could be jinxxed
You could be dying
You could be burning
When life gets you down
Remember it could be worse
You could be me
You could be jinxxed
There's no need to cut
There's no need to starve
I know what they said
I know that it hurts
I know there's little escape
I will hold you up
I will catch you when you fall
I will remind you again, and again
You are kind
You are pretty
No, You are beautiful
You are smart
You are funny
You are wanted
You are loved
Don't you ever forget that
Bvb army together we stand