I guess what I'm trying to say, is I want to take a bite out of your soul like an apple.

want to leave a bite mark in who you are,
to give my antibodies to help fight infection,
build a scab over the tooth mark

want to regrow
slightly darker scar tissue over the bite mark I left there.

Leaving a little island on the orb.

I guess what I'm saying is
I want to mechanically be a part of you

want to digest who you are to help fight diseases in my body.

wanna take you like a vitamin  
wake up every morning to take my daily dose

like a nice clean bite out of an Apple.
Wispy Orb of you. your essence

then stick it right back in your chest.
with a tiny little tooth mark indent left by my bite.
ready to heal where I left it.

I want you to take a bite right outta my soul too,
want the nutrients of who we are to coarse through our bodies
repair the bite marks.
leave scars on us.

Dark little landmarks so we never forget the bite.
we both love kissing scars
so much that why wouldn't we want our own personal landmarks

i guess what I'm saying is, I'm allergic to apples.
but i'm not allergic to people.
If I run out of allergy pills and vitamins
I might as well get my daily dose of happiness.
i'll be ****** if you aren't my prescribed dose of happiness
no doctor handed me papers or charged me a fee
i don't have an insurance plan to help me pay for you.
but at least I can't run out
so i don't need to worry about faxing my doctor to renew my pharmacy pickup

I guess what I'm trying to say is
if my personality was an apple I would be allergic too it, but I'd let you take a bite.

I guess what I'm trying to say is:
I already have a scar for you, and you already kiss it.

I want you to know that you are precious to me.

Not precious like some rare stone around a ring finger or
a sentimental gift.

precious like a photograph of a child in your wallet.
precious like a young girl finding kitten wearing red ribbon under her Christmas tree.
precious like a young girl holding cardboard box kitten.
precious like a mother Glowing. singing to her belly
precious like a mother holding a cardboard box.
precious like ashes on a fireplace.
precious like a photograph in a wallet.

see, when I met you.
we had no idea how long we'd love each other.
we didn't question we did.

when you said you were leaving.
I Asked, "do you have a bucket list?"

What's next?
We did everything on it.
Went skinny dipping,
Climbed a rooftop
Went to a seafood restaurant
Because, you hadn't yet.

Then the day before you left you said:
"I love you"
quiet.
underneath your breath, so I wouldn't notice.

"what was that?"
I would ****.
You'd turn 50 shades of red.

"You've sure been sending a lot of hearts through text lately.
did you say you love me?"

You nodded, but never spoke up.

I kissed you.
"I love you too."

You didn't say it again for awhile, but,
I did.
So many times that I lost track
then every once in awhile
1,595 Miles away.
you'd send me a facebook message
you were wearing my cologne, you missed me, you loved me.

I would glow brighter than the moon each time.

Now you're coming back.
In just one week I get to hold you again.
kiss you again.
like a photograph jumping out of it's film to breath.
You are so precious to me.
Just thinking about touching your hand.
looking you in the eyes to hear you say any words to me.
Listen to your dreams, Build us a living room, and Make them happen!
because every precious thing happens there.
A fireplace, a Christmas tree, a carpet covered in pointy children's toys.
Your clumsy body and my clumsy body, interlocking fingers watching pointless Television.

Because we can.
Because you're home.

In my family.
We never lock the bathroom door.
we are not prudish,
we acknowledge that if we're taking a shower
someone might need to ****.

"If I keel over and die in there I want you to be able to find me
Not have to hire a godamned locksmith.
By the time he shows up
I'll have stunk up the place
Even worse than this ****,
And you'll have a hell of a time washing that out of the carpet"

For some reason, This confuses guests.

I'll never forget the day I was cooking scrambled eggs.
My date opened up the bathroom door.

in all her glory my 62 year old bapbap smiled at her from the toilet
"hey sweety, whatcha need?"

One of them was red and screaming
And it wasn't my Bapbap.

Last week I was taking a shower when I heard the phone go off behind my loud music.

My grandpa busts through the door with phone in Hand.
"Nicholas!"
Yes papa? I respond orderlly.
jumping naked quick out the shower
Assuming he was in pain.
Or needed medical attention.

Tell me what she's sayin'
he holds a phone out to me.
he's mildly frustrated, but healthy.
my wet hand takes on the phone.
She mumbles on the other end underneath my music.
"Huh?" I say.
Fumble for my spotify to turn my music off.
"sorry I couldn't hear you over my music. I'm in the shower."
"oh I'm sorry sir, We're moving dons appointment to this Tuesday. Is that okay?"
"They wanna move your appointment to tuesday. You okay with that?"
"oh jesus, christ. yeah that's okay."
Papa was not in need of any medical attention.
But now that my heart was beating a hundred miles a minute
I thought perhaps
I would soon
So when papa hobbled out,
I left the door unlocked.

I once sold a hair straightener to a woman going through keemo

I once sold a a weight loss supplement to a girl struggling with anoerexia.

I once sold female libido enhancers to a forty year old man.

Sold a car to a Parapalegic

Sold a telephone to a deff woman.

I once sold a child an imaginary friend.
And a Vaccuum for their sandbox.

I once sold a soul to a telemarketing company.

They paid me in biweekly installments.
And they got a hell of a deal.

Imagine having as many hearts as you have hands.

Imagine one Doesn't Belong to you.

Imagine how easy it is to juggle two things

Imagine how hard it is to juggle three things.

Imagine catching three hearts

Imagine dropping one

Imagine picking it back up.

Imagine juggling four hearts.

Imagine being so talented you can catch two in each hand.

One day.

Imagine the one heart
covered in bruises.

Always dropped.
Always picked back up.

Imagine it doesn't belong to you

That night was amazing
How we went out to dinner
And to keep me calm
You never moved to where I wouldn't be in contact with you
Because you know
You know that I need the contact to feel safe
And then after we ate we all piled into your car
Singing along to "Skeletons on Parade"
And "Emperors new clothes"
And once you dropped the other two off
I brought us to my favorite building
Where we climbed the rooftop
And just laid there, the three of us.
And we talked
And we cuddled
"I'm perfectly content" you kept saying
And we made fun of your allergy
Your allergy to all things green
We all laughed as you challenged the trees
"Bring it on you *****!" You shouted at them
Daring them to drop leaves on you
And when on fell on your arm
You laughed and called the tree a slew of names
Making us all smile and laugh with you
Your hands traveling along our backs
Making us smile even more
And then when you kissed me on the forehead
I got so happy I couldn't stop smiling even if I tried
And even now, thinking about it, I can't stop smiling
Simply because
Last night was the best so far
I guess to me every Thursday is amazing now
Because of you.
And once you brought me home and hugged me
You hugged me like I'd never see you again
Even though I know I will
And it made me so happy
Then in the morning when I woke up and checked my phone,
And you told me you wished you had kissed me
I realized it too
At 11:11 pm I wished for you

Honest John waits In his car.
peaks through his rear view mirror at the glass door. watching.
The engine is off.
cold air nips at his nose and ears.
ice caps cover grass.
the night pitch black
No moon in the sky.
few stars due to the city smog.

A Dim glow from inside the restaurant
Casts shadows in the parking lot.
She hides in them.

Rolling carts march uniform right on schedule
hauling trash to dumpsters just outside.
Honest john watches her slip on a Latex Glove.
*** a cigarette.
She doesn't want honest john to smell the cigarette on her hands.
He doesn't know.

Honest John's Phone buzzes.
He answers.
Told that "work is going late."
She "won't need a ride tonight."
"Won't be home tonight."
Honest John asks where she's going.

"oh, out with my lady friend.
Sarah, haven't seen her since high-school"

"Alright." Says Honest John.
"Have fun." He bit his tongue for the sake of not seeming Crazy again.
It wasn't very honest of him.

She climbs up into red Truck with
The man.
smoke billows out the windows as they screach off howling in the rearview mirror.

Honest John has always hated her lying.

John Loves Crying.
It's honest.
Not just his own tears.
Being the shoulder to cry on is johns momment of ecstasy.
Tears are Beautiful on everybody.
Nobody cries without a reason.

Alone John Smokes Djarum Blacks.

They're the most honest of cigarettes.
Don't paint themselves White
Try passing as innocent or pure.
Just Blatantly say
"Hey, we're way worse for you then a normal cigarette.
"This is slowly killing you"
John appreciates that
even though they're slowly killing him,
At least they are honest about it.

John speaks his mind.
Just as he beleives it.
won't risk leaving words
unsaid again.
but there is one word
he's troubled being Honest about.

Love.

Everytime he doesn't say it.
It kills him slowly.
which would be fine,
if love didn't lie.