she's as beautiful as day and as mysterious as night
her feelings change as does her leaves during fall
the changing colors and emotions
a great oak tree now feeling cold by winters embrace with no colorful leaves but instead branches that show her majestic story of pain, sorrow, and love
she's a worrier, a soldier in this battle of life
and then when the war of society and sin is over in spring she dances and rejoices with the winds and rain and sings the song of new begging that yet to come
then finally she joins the sun and the clouds
sharing her life with others during the days of summer
she's a home for creatures big and small
shes a shield of protection
a mother caring for her child
a bride preparing for her wedding day

me to the happiest of places and steals my smile
she comes on birthdays and holidays
she comes on regular days
I say i'm alone but sadness is there
she's the only thing that hasn't left
she's stubborn
and strong
loneliness is sadness brother and stays the nights and days
he's there when i'm in a crowd full of others
he's there at parties
and at family gatherings
he's there even during the happiest of times
depression is their mother and leads her ducklings to my heart
where they rest and live there days and nights
sadness fallows, and her family joins.

thoughts rush
adrenaline kicks
heart beats
heart sinks
            down
                   down
                          down
       until your stuck in the thoughts that couldn't be
why mother?
          why leave me?
I though I was your doll.
I though I was your happiness.
instead i'm trapped.
stuck.
no where left to go.
what do I do with life now.
what do I do with no love,
no hope.

everyone leaves.
everyone lies.
everyone hurts.
everyone dislikes.
everyone loves.
but no one loves me like you do.
everyone lies to me but you speak the truth.
everyone hurts but you heal the deepest bruise.
everyone dislikes me, everyone but you.
everyone leaves, everyone but you.
so I'll hate, hurt, dislike, leave, and lie to anyone else.
anyone else but you.
and I'll love nobody else but you.

I already know you will.

I never wanted you to stay anyway.

I enjoy the sleepless nights and breathless days.

so just leave already.

before you stay and hurt me more making me care for you.

I'll just say to myself that I don't need you.

now I lay my head to sleep
and try to count the sheep
but in my mind I scream and fight
battles and wars keep me occupied
the truth hurts but at least its not a lie
you keep me from being free when you lie to me
you add another chain to the ground and keep me from spreading my wings
you cut my hope into pieces and let it die
you bruise my body and watch me cry
you leave me to die with every lie
why not free me from this world of lies with the truth
why chain me to this prison of dying hope and dying dreams
preventing me from souring free.

in a corner
under the bed
asking questions about the dead
how to brake something fix
and how to fix something broke.
in a corner
in a room
with nothing else left to do
wondering thought wounder away
when will the day be that you'll go away
when will that corner expand
to a new land far away
until then
brake whats fixed
and fix whats broke
until that corner turns to another ghost
or what use to be.