Alvin Agnani: Poems

{Alias}

Alvin Agnani Feb 22

{Alias}

As long as I hate myself, I will hate the world.
As long as I'm alive, I won't truly know what it's like to love.

Even now, with my head in my hands;

I can't love myself.

Fragile.
Useless.
Pathetic.
Crumble...

#corruption #weaknesses

{A Minute of Silence...}

Alvin Agnani May 2018

{A Minute of Silence...}

Let's have a moment of silence, for those who understand.
We who lack the knowledge; children beaten by the ******.
Infected by the hurt inflicted, by just a single hand.
This silent moment is for those who hid their father's brand.

For those who lie there centered, in the evil play of man...

If you find this poem relatable and it clings onto your mind.
Look back on the ones who've hurt you and do right where they did wrong.
Try to find it in your heart to forgive them; throw it all behind.
If you can cast away your resentment, you are clean, fresh and strong.

#humiliation #sorrow #shame #father #sins #forgiveness #love #hate

{Apparatus}

Alvin Agnani Sep 26

{Apparatus}

I am he who thinks he knows it all.
While not knowing the purpose of his own existence.
All I know that I know is that nobody knows anything about anything.

History rewritten.
Evidence manufactured.
Controlled by design.
Deceit.

We live in stranger times.
A brave new world.

It'll be our downfall.

#hypercriticalthinking

[At Death's Door]

Alvin Agnani Apr 2022

[At Death's Door]

Inconsequential.
Menial tasks.
Even the books our truth were built upon - a mirage.
A sole purpose to detain and control.

Yet, I believe.
Perhaps not like I used to.
But it's there.

God is alive.
He lies dormant inside you.
I've seen it before.
You will remain oblivious.

Until he wakes...

#helpus #salvation #saveyourself

{Clockwork Poetry} - Reminiscence

Alvin Agnani Jan 2020

{Clockwork Poetry} - Reminiscence

Way too often I find the child within this overgrown shell. He hides in the crack in the slab.

                      Longingly he stares back at me with those deep blue eyes and smiles at me  -  as if he knows who I am inside.

                                     Who I really am.
                                             Who we really are.

                                                       I

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             m
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              It burns in my eyes.

He just stands there, looking at me. Then he reaches out his hand toward me.

                                         I awake alone.

- Shepherd, 1-12-20

Visit my poetry account on Instagram @clockwork_poetry

#reminiscence #reminders #childhood #longing #remorse #ifeelchildlike #promotional

{Cloud Burst}

Alvin Agnani Jul 16

{Cloud Burst}

Flea-ridden canvas.
Itching and swollen.
Driving me into insanity.

Abjection.

Murky waters down below.
I see my reflection upon the surface, but he won't look me in the eyes.
I glare into his.

Dead.
Hateful.

Is this what it's come to?
Is this who I am?

I just wanted love.
As did we all.

Now I don't deserve it.

{Contrition}

Alvin Agnani Sep 28

{Contrition}

At the cusp of something.

Perfect silence.
Almost like I'm six feet under.

More like six hundred miles away from you.

Will she ever know of me?
Against all odds, not likely.
I fold myself as if to be-
Stillborn upon delivery.

Some nights I regret every minute I spent deciding what mistake to make.

Many such I've made...
Such as letting one like you slip away.

{Désirée}

Alvin Agnani Sep 23

{Désirée}

I'm staying awake for the night.
Hanging my heart on the bedside table.
Airing it out.

Gloom had caught me in a loop.
It was time.

I breathe easy knowing that even if I'll be exhausted in the morning-
I still get to see your face once more.

{Dots}

Alvin Agnani Jul 16

{Dots}

They are dropping like flies.
One after the other.
Like blots of oil on pristine attire.
Yet, I do not feel a thing.

Or more accurately, I feel at ease.

Decay.

When Evil rots in the ground.
I do feel a slight sense of relief.

{Droplets}

Alvin Agnani Sep 23

{Droplets}

In the future will I be able to say:
"I no longer cry like I used to"?
To do it more often, but for a different reason other than grieving.
To cry in the presence of a woman.
Such an unpleasant feeling.

Being vulnerable as a man.

{Entitled, Untitled}

Alvin Agnani Feb 13

{Entitled, Untitled}

Surely you're also one of them.
Those who take what they have for granted.
Those who take and take, without a care in the world.
Expecting everything to come to you on a silver platter.

On your deathbed, I wonder... Will you wake up to reality?
Will you see me as your equal despite me having been born into poverty?

The day I am no longer alone in having nothing.

I [ l o o k f o r w a r d ] to it.

To the entitled nobodies

{Faith Pt.1}

Alvin Agnani Oct 2021

{Faith Pt.1}

Cracks in the flesh.
Sin in my soul.
Arrhythmia.

Why do I feel this way?
God, I'm trembling.
One palm tracing my ribs.

Dwindling heartbeats.
Misinterpreted words.
Lips dried up.

Take me away.
To Your land of blessings.
God, I feel Your blessings.

Tears well up.
Am I alone in this?
In this, we are not alone.
In this, we are together; Unified.

Let me do the one thing I was created for.

God, I want to love.

Love us, I will.

#christianity #love #blessyou #havefaith #idosolovetolove #hugsandprayerscomingyourway3

[flow]

Alvin Agnani Jan 2020

[flow]

I often try to hide the tears that

                              f
                          l
                              o
                          w
                              .

                 When really there is no reason.

                                  For to

                                                     c
                                                r
                                                          y

                                                                when reading a beautiful poem -

                                                     is even more wonderful than dreaming.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Let us lose ourselves in the poetry we create

#creativity #emotional #words #happiness #freedom #daydreaming

{Fragments}

Alvin Agnani Nov 2020

{Fragments}

"Not so fast", said the girl to me.

It was the first time someone had pointed out my most unusually long hair.

Enoyreve

The wind picked up and the old man's hat flew out into the fields.

I chuckled to myself.

Setirw

It's not I wasn't happy, just strangely compelled to ignore them.

They at least let me into their fold.

I was no longer a lost sheep.

                     F
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                s

Not so fast, said the God to me with a smile on His lips.

My being hadn't been properly prepared for this turn of events.

Sdorw htiw

He actually spoke now. It wasn't just some message written in the sand.

"Are you going to finish that bagle?"

I most definitely was not.

Elbisneherpmoc

Fin

Sorry. I felt like sharing something really different. This is "most definitely" up to interpretation. Have a good one.

#mostdefinitelyuptointerpretation #reallyreallystrangeconcoction

{F(r)iend}

Alvin Agnani Mar 10

{F(r)iend}

You need a friend when you're alone in the dark.
You need a friend with whom you can talk.
You need a friend, but nobody knows.
You're simply refusing to speak.

Why is that?

Because nobody understands you.
Nobody wants to know you.
You know that you're lesser.

"The mirror is the most adept liar."

You're a f(r)iend.

Recognize truth.

You are your worst enemy.

#lies

{Ghouls}

Alvin Agnani Mar 10

{Ghouls}

"Burn the cross."

Said the man in his cold, soulless kingdom.

A religion once promised to lead mankind out of darkness.

Now I see that religion is little less than a dying man's memoirs.

Defining deception, degeneracy and decrepit morality.

Your life built on lies, just like the world itself.

You-are-blind

#soami

{Hands}

Alvin Agnani Sep 18

{Hands}

The best that I can be always seems just out of reach.
But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of giving, yet never receiving anything in return.
Despite this, it's the one thing I wish I could do forever.

Giving.

My whole being to someone else.
To break their fall when they stumble.
To guide their hands when they fumble.
To light the way in the darkest of night.

I want to give-

More than I want to live.

[I Adore…]

Alvin Agnani Feb 2018

[I Adore…]

I am part of this barren landscape.

Plain and transparent.
Endlessly incoherent.

To the shadows and coolness, I wish I could flee.
Sadly, I’m trapped in the centre, with neither a soul or anyone of my breed.

Lost and isolated from the world, or at least a few.
I long for the moment when I can start living anew.

Shrouded in heat; thoughts I cannot rid myself of.
Not even a single heartbeat could I ever hear of.

Alone, desolated.
Alone, devastated.
Alone, frustrated.
Alone, my hunger never sated.
Alone…

…
I
Am
Not
Alone
Anymore
…

Together, elevated.
Together, saturated.
Together, integrated.
Together, my hunger always sated.

Unified…
I adore you.
I adore us.
I adore we.
I adore men.
I adore women.
I adore…
I…

#alone #sorrow #unification #joy

{I'm Fine}

Alvin Agnani Feb 13

{I'm Fine}

I'm lying.

All the time.

And I [ e n j o y ] it:

I was meant for this world.
I am happy.
I am content.
I am okay.

Crush my hands in the doorway. Keep me from writing my thoughts onto virtual paper. Watch as my fingers burst into pieces of flesh and bone. The pain keeps me awake.

I don't want to sleep anymore.

I only dream in black and white.

#imfine

{I Min Egna Takt/At My Own Pace}

Alvin Agnani Sep 23

{I Min Egna Takt/At My Own Pace}

Jag längtar redan.
Tills du återigen blir endast ett minne.
Så att jag kan tappa min mask.
Och falla för dig i min egna takt...

///

I'm already longing-
For the moment you once again become a memory.
So that I can drop my mask.
And fall for you at my own pace...

Swedish notes with a touch of familiarity.

Written to the song "Love On The Ground" by Cannons.

#swedish

[Inheritance]

Alvin Agnani Apr 2022

[Inheritance]

The things I own do not make the boy I am.
The things I'm taught do not make the soul I've inherited.
There is but one truth for every man and woman.

Mine was that pain is illusory.

Find yours in yourself.

#realisation #helpus

[I’ve Got Nothing to Say…]

Alvin Agnani Feb 2018

[I’ve Got Nothing to Say…]

I’ve got nothing to say.
For I am alone, inexperienced; I know nothing.
I know nothing of your troubles; yet I can’t help myself but to weep.
I can’t help myself but to scream.
Even as the poison lingers in your blood I wail, but to no avail.
If only you could throw your problems away.
I would take them freely.
Carry them on my shoulders, even if I’d break.
Your words pierce my heart.
Your experience to horror embrace me so tight.
Even though I am not the same as you.
I know…
I know the truth.
You may do with your life as you wish.
I’ve got nothing more to say.
Only…

I wish you could stay.

#hopeless #worthless #wishes #life #death #ambition

{Like Leaves In The Wind}

Alvin Agnani Nov 2020

{Like Leaves In The Wind}

Like leaves in the wind they seem to leave me so quickly.
All the people I need to keep my feelings safe with me.

All my life I've been lonely, just never truly alone.
I've been searching forever, but I've yet to find home.

Like leaves in the wind they all got somewhere to go.
I'll walk the opposite way, an unfamiliar road.

My feet are worn out and tattered; think it's starting to show.
I may be lost in myself; at least I'm willing to grow.

It's been a while. Good to see poetry still blooming on here. Much love to you all!

#growth #confused #unfamiliarplaces #opentochange #loveyouallsoverymuch

{Null}

Alvin Agnani Feb 14

{Null}

"No lives matter."
Said the man in his ivory prison.

After all I've seen, I'm inclined to agree.

#weareenslaved

{Puppet Master}

Alvin Agnani Feb 15

{Puppet Master}

Do you find it enlightening?
We're all in the process of dying.

The world showed you who you are and you embraced it.

Your name means nothing. It never did.
Your life means nothing.
You are but a number in a binary system.
You will behave as you're told.

And die when I say so.

Sincerely,
A "Dear Friend"

We are enslaved.

#weareslaves #slavestothesystem

[Spiral]

Alvin Agnani Apr 2022

[Spiral]

Are you... a friend of mine?

By speaking my mind I've alienated myself from humanity.
Do they still want me here?
I was once ignorant and naive.
A boy with the power to save the world, in my eyes.
By attaining knowledge I only got pushed further away from a life with meaning.

Now I'm naught but a grain of sand - in a desert of suffering.
Unified - but alone.
We stand no chance separated.

Will you be the one to connect the dots? Turn sand into rocks; rocks into castles?

Will you be our _?

Nobody knows.

#kindlyhelpus #godsgift

{Spring's Invitation}

Alvin Agnani Jan 2020

{Spring's Invitation}

I saw the sky today at 6:34 am.
Blue and endearing.
Begging me to smile.
So how could I not?

Spring is returning.
Put in an extra effort and smile at everyone you meet today.
For we all know, a simple smile can do so very much for a person.

#blessed #happy #ilovelife #smiling #daydreaming #spring #joy #0634am

[Struggle]

Alvin Agnani Apr 2022

[Struggle]

Pain and sadness.
Two words almost synonymous with each other.
Yet, two feelings completely unnecessary for us.
The best we can do is move on.

For we all lose everything in the end.

No matter how painful it may be.
Where is the meaning in feelings - good or bad?
When we are all fated for one single outcome?

Ascent.

#helpme

{The Masquerade}

Alvin Agnani Feb 13

{The Masquerade}

As soon as we met, I washed my face with grandeur and politeness.

She did not know how out of place I was. Nevertheless, I managed to fool not only her, but the rest of world in the process.

I'm smiling, gently and tenderly while standing in your presence.

All while [ l o a t h i n g ] your words, your actions and your image.

Hypocrite.

Falter.
Fall.
Fade.
Foliage.
Façade.

#liars

{There Is None, Who See You Like I}

Alvin Agnani Dec 2020

{There Is None, Who See You Like I}

I see through the looking glass that mirrors your reflection.
"I shan't be the last" - a promise from the undesirable.

But it would seem your ears are clogged with ink and horrid venom.
Ignore my gaze, my compliments, and everything I give you.

One day you will realise that you were never alone.
It was merely your IMAGINATION.

Do not lie to yourself. Somewhere, someone sees you for who you are, and accepts you wholly.

#broken #saveme #selfhelp #religion #community #family #iwillberightbyyourside

{The Words of A Slave}

Alvin Agnani Mar 10

{The Words of A Slave}

"Molten metal down my lungs
Branding iron on my tongue
City smog inside my mind.

~ The words of a slave."

You are him.
You are her.
There is no in between.

#chaingang

{They Were Only Lies}

Alvin Agnani Nov 2020

{They Were Only Lies}

Too much sadness.
Too much pain.
The words you let out of your brain.

Spreading faster.
Than a flame.
Disease and sickness in my frame.

Feed the anger.
Feed your hate.
You will never be the same.

Or let it go.
And turn the page.
Just don't spread your harmful play.

I'd rather see you burn alone, than taking me down with you. The abyss is no place for someone like me. I want to be lifted up by His hands; just one more time.

"Isolate me from humanity - I've had enough of agony."

#uptointerpretation

{Three Tenets} Pt. 1

Alvin Agnani Feb 13

{Three Tenets} Pt. 1

"I am unequivocally and utterly alone."

Said the man in his golden palace. The one within his mind.

The three tenets guide me on my journey:

• Handling everything equals handling nothing.

• Having everything equals having nothing.

• Hating everything equals hating nothing.

I despise you and that is the truth.

Oh. Did you want to remain ignorant?

{Throes}

Alvin Agnani Sep 25

{Throes}

"What is a silent scream?", she asked me in the middle of July.

"Ink on paper."

Was particularly fond of this one quote, so I just wanted to share it.

{To My Dismay}

Alvin Agnani May 17

{To My Dismay}

My mind is slipping.
Dripping in ink-like substance.
Feeding the rot.
Metastasizing throughout.
Loss of control.
Subjugated by chemical agents in conjunction with brain activity.

The real me.
You don't know.
And never will.
For I am still.
When you draw near.

Bittersweet addiction.
Sometimes I am sweet on you.

To my dismay...

It comes and goes.
I cannot change.
We are who we are.

#addictions

{Ultima}

Alvin Agnani Sep 27

{Ultima}

Your nails against my epicenter.

Puncture.
Wound.
Source of life trickling out.

Pulsating with animateness.
Systematic erosion.

I am at peace.
Dying here in the now.
As long as you're happy.

{Unaware}

Alvin Agnani Feb 15

{Unaware}

It seems as though the entire world is asleep; in a coma.
Blinded by ideological propaganda.
Fear.
Control.
A sense of belonging.

There is none.
Or there is only.

Human beings are of the same mind.
A collective.
Yet nobody understands another and everybody thinks they're alone.

You are.
You are alone.

Until you open the door.
And they let you in.

They never will.

#deceivers

— The End —