I still remember you, the fragment of you in my mind. Still laughing, still loving me. Our hearts still beating at the same pace. I have done wrong upon you. But please, remember my promise, my unconditional love. Still, boundless. My love.

“But I was so much skinnier back then,
And I looked so much better”
I hear myself say.
But I was drinking three meal replacement shakes a day
And passing out after running 3k.

My brain has been torn apart
Crumpled together
And smeared across the billboards of my timeline
My heart shredded and trampled on
My body has seen torments and tortures
That parents fear and
Don’t understand the possibility.
I was told it was my fault.
Every action had its cause.
Every act of terror had its reason.
Me.

But it was never my fault.

I wasn’t the reason I hated this thigh,
Or this skin
Or these bones.
Or this brain
This way of thinking.

Nothing was ever wrong with me.

Time degrades, that is a matter of fact.
That which does not degrade only exists within the mind,
But minds degrade too, and what can an animal do when its cage caves in on itself?

Time removes, that is a matter of reason.
That which remain eternally only exists in realms beyond our imagination,
But imagination can only get you so far, and what can your creativity do when you come upon the incomprehensible?

Time embellishes, that is a matter of deduction.
That which remains in obscurity only need more time,
But time forgets, and what remains of the colossal wreck when a million years past?

I well know my reach-
  I never wish to compete

I don't know much,
Then l do know a lot,
I don't know what's true,
But I know what's not;

What I know true and full,
Binds me together firm,
A simple truth breathing,
Potent red, sinster green;

I've loved you completely,
Vivid rich and vast,
That I know with awe,
I miss your eyes;

My mind drowns in them,
Such grace and comfort,
You'll never leave my mind,
I love you, my moon baby.

Asida de una rama de neblina
dialogo con mi ayer, oro y tormenta.
La furia del clavel entre la menta
enciende todavía la colina.

Mientras la dulce tarde se asordina
otra música llega, grave y lenta,
a enclaustrarme en sus gritos de tormenta
y su olor de jazmines y resina.

El ayer... Ah que mundo tan lejano
de esta avidez de presa de mi mano,
halcón menudo que cazó centellas,

ave de paraíso ya perdida,
entre la selva muerta de una vida
que iluminaron todas las estrellas.

Zindagi mein meri bas tu hi tu hai,  
Har khwab mein meri bas tu hi tu hai.

Har saans mein jo bas gaya hai khushbu banke,  
Us mehka hua jahan mein bas tu hi tu hai.

Mere labon pe tera zikr sada hai,  
Mere har qissa-e-gham mein bas tu hi tu hai.

Chaand ke saath jo guftagu karun raaton mein,  
Wahan bhi mere lafzon mein bas tu hi tu hai.

Jahan nazar uthaoon, tera chehra dikhta hai,  
Har manzar ke rangon mein bas tu hi tu hai.

Zindagi mein meri bas tu hi tu hai,  
Har khwab mein meri bas tu hi tu hai.

Left to right got you.

It means almost nothing to me when it is said someone loves my curly hair
It means almost nothing to me when people say they love my green eyes or anything else


The best compliment I have ever received is
"Liana, you're so weird, but in the very best way!"

Untitled (3 Parts)


Its breaking....
Under sea.
Underneath,
I lost all feeling,
Do fish not feel
the rod piercing?

Sometimes
I was too
Vulnerable
breakable
fragile
young
small
tiny,
me.

I'm getting tired
I'm too weary
to surface.

Resilience,
is not a word
but a death
sentence
of irony plates
I breathe in.

Hey,
do you wish
to see
the worse
in me,
the abyss
snaps
the frame,
Inner child...
its frozen eye...

I still feel,
morning train,
a rush through,
what couldn't
who wouldn't
save me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

rocking the wooden horse,
as dark engulfs black hole,
its par for the course,
when shattered is considered whole.

Autumn leaves drying and fading,
beautiful in snow shy & melting,
Eyes darken and hair whiten,
wisdom wears on me sharpens...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dead and buried is the garden
I helped with my little *****,
echoes are days felt yesterday
blowing in the hallowed wind
are all the autumn leaves...

I have a fascination with
all things love,
Daydreams constructing expectations
and a daily need for a thing which
I have yet to experience,
It's an obsession which has
evolved into a fear ~
Fear of a broken heart,
of a lonely life,
of distracted dreams.

~ Funny my ability to
overthink.

Let me rustle ya sheets
Get them bedsprings
Hopping to the beats
There be you and me
Salty sweet flings
Skin to skin of sweaty freaks

15, and can't find someone to love me.
15, and all my friends are dating.
15, and love is all I see.
15, and i'm just waiting.

ყოველდღე მე ვშრომობ მძიმედ,
თუმცა ყველა წინ მიდგას.
ვკითხულობდი ბევრ სონატას,
ვიქარწყლებდი სულში დარდს.
უარია როგორც მაშინ
გავიხურავ ამ შავ კარს.
კოენი ხომ ვერ გამიქრობს,
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

ვდგავარ მარტო ისევ ქარში,
ირგვლივ მზერებს ვხედავ სხვას.
მოსაწვევებს ვიღებ სასმლის,
მინდა სახლში მარტო სმა!..
ვშრომობ ისევ მძიმედ, რთულად,
მაგიჟებს მე შენი ხმა.
ზღვა, ყავა და სიგარეტი
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

გამოვაღებ მე ამ ფანჯრებს,
მაგრამ სახლში ვხედავ შავს.
მაგიდაზე კატა მიზის,
ფეხებთან კი შენ მყავხარ.
ვერ ვისვენებ და შევცქერი
ჟირაფებს და ფიროსმანს,
ნახატებიც აღარ მშველის,
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

ისევ ვხედავ, ისევ მწარედ
როგორ წყდება ტალღა ზღვას.
ღამის შუქზე მარლბოროთი
დავიწყებ მე ყავის სმას.
იმ ციხეში სადაც შენ ხარ ,
მე აღვიქვამ მხოლოდ ზარს,
ქემელიც კი არ მამშვიდებს,
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

მოვფრინავ და აღარ გესმით
ვეღარც იგებთ დღეს ჩემს ხმას.
მიჭირავს მე ლუდი ხელში ,
ვეგებები მე ჩემს თავს.
ვჯდები ირგვლივ არვინ არის
ვიწყებ მხოლოდ მარტო სმას.
ვერაფერი ვერ მაწყნარებს,
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

უარია როგორც მაშინ,
გავიხურავ ამ შავ კარს.
კოენი ხომ ვერ გამიქრობს,
ვერ გამიქრობს ამ დიდ დაღს.

---

Will somebody please
Slow down the train
It's going through hills
And rough terrain

I tried to be the engineer
But that didn't work
This much is clear

I can't run, I can't roam
I can't DO LIFE ON MY OWN.

I'm on a ride that I can't bear
Filled with loneliness... despair

Not knowing how, which way to turn
I will go the way I've learned.

I won't harbor hatred in my heart
I know my love and I must part

But I don't think of him as bad
We've broken up, and that is sad

But I want my family
here on this site
Know that lately
I haven't been right...

My mind is distraught
And overwrought
I can hardly follow
My train of thought

Please forgive me
I'm slipping my gears
I'm haunted by fears
Have counted years

I'm sure sorry this affects you
It seems like I'm untrue

I want all poets here on HP
To very kindly PRAY FOR ME.

SEND GOOD THOUGHTS
In your own way.

I will also be in prayer

For I have now met The Engineer


SoulSURVIVOR
5/4/2015

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

                                 Election Night 2024: Dry Bones


                “All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys”

    -Grandma Woody in Northern Exposure, “Animals R Us,” 1991


An early dusk falls under clouds from the Gulf
Yellow houselights wink on as daylight winks off
Supper in greasy bags from fast-fooderies
That everyone argues they can’t afford

Then like the lozenge in A Space Odyssey
A screen appears and dominates all
And family groupings center themselves around it
In excited cavortings before the images

Of brightly-colored cultic election scores
As fists swinging dry bones crush enemy skulls

Because you long
to a flame
just out of reach.

The voice of nightfall
Calls.
I listen in the dimming light.

All is softened by it.
Eyes strain.
Change is never easy.

The beauty engulfs me
As I adapt
To a new realization

With each new night.
I open
To its wonder.

XI • VI • MMXXIV

︻デ┳═ー  

blood drips.
i can feel it on my fingertips,
i can taste it on your lips.

how did we get here?
i am drowning in fear.
there's no escape plan near.

they keep taking.
a nightmare waking.
we keep breaking.

the air is thickening,
gunshots quickening,
this is all so sickening.

blood pools.
genocide fuels.
american jewels.

I find your arms wrapped around mine tightly,
Suffocating my will nauseatingly
The rest of my life, I'm burning away in your presence.
While sinking deeper into the abyss,
I am enamored with your sugary-sweet lies
Promising this time I have left to you.

As much it aches my fragile heart,
I love you.

Won't you give me a final chance?
To live with you breathing down my neck
I need to be with you forever.
With the hope that feels so far away,
And all the things that mean something-
Just forget it ever existed.

Despite the harsh coldness of this world
it's the warmth of your existence
that keeps me going

All the sky in humanities palm,
the ever expansive heavens.

Yet we choose to stay,
chained to the dirt.

I'm not heartless, I've just learned to use my heart less

clouds crown
the mountains

in drifts
of grey

and white
they twist

into sticks
of lightning

mist
into whispers

of thunder
uncountable dragonflies drop

and rise
to announce

such skin
and the rain within

जब सोचा मैंने
अचानक
विदूषक
अर्से से हंसी-मजाक नहीं कर रहा।
मैं बड़ी देर तक
उसकी इस मनोदशा को महसूस कर
बहुत बेचैन रहा।
वह जगत तमाशे से
अब तक क्यों दूर रहा ?
वह दुनियादारी के पचड़े में
अभी तक क्यों फंसा नहीं है ?


फिर भी
आज ही क्यों
उसकी हंसी हुई है गायब ।
जरूर कुछ गड़बड़झाला है!
क्या दुनिया के रंगमंच से
अपना यार
जो लुटाता रहा है सब पर प्यार,
रोनी सूरत के साथ प्यारा,सब से न्यारा
विदूषक प्रस्थान करने वाला है?

मैं जो भी उल जलूल, फिजूल
विदूषक की बाबत सोच रहा था।
मेरी कल्पना
कहीं से भी
सत्य के पास नहीं थी।
वह महज कपाल कल्पित रही होगी।
एकदम निराधार।

सच तो यह था कि
अचानक
विदूषक ने
खुद के बारे में सोचा,
मैं अर्से से हंसा नहीं हूं,

तभी पास ही
दीवार पर लटके दर्पण को
विदूषक के दर्प को
खंडित करने की युक्ति सूझी।
उसने विदूषक भाई से
हंसी ठिठोली करनी चाही।

सुना है
कि दर्पण व्यक्ति के
अंतर्वैयक्तिक भावों को पकड़ लेता है,
उसको कहीं गहरे से जकड़ लेता है।

यहीं
विदूषक खा गया मात।
दर्पण ने दिखला दी थी अपनी करामात।
उसके वह राज जान गया,
अतः विदूषक हुआ उदास।
और उसकी हंसी छीनी गई थी।


कृपया
विदूषक को हंसाइए।
उसके चेहरे पर मुस्कान लेकर आइए।
आप स्वयं एक विदूषक बन जाइए।
३१/०५/२०२०.

I rarely talked about love
Because the word "love" in a sentence is really sentencing by itself.

What is it that causes us to romanticize people we don't know?

As if their lives are somehow different than ours, as of they don't silently cry themselves to sleep at night.