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  Apr 2014 xoK
circus clown
all i've been able to think lately
is that in a few long spring months
summer will come, and so will you.

i can't wait to trace the veins
in your tiny wrists again,
and feel your lips on mine with
the passion and the heat
to make God feel guilty
for what he's done to us.
because he really should.
  Apr 2014 xoK
Victoria Jennings
I pray more for you
Than I do for myself.
xoK Apr 2014
My dear,
I've just had the most terrifying thought.
One that sends shivers down my spine,
And not the good kind of shivers.
The ones that jab at you in the dark.
The ones that come from boogie men
And monsters under the bed.
This thought,
This fear,
It hits me like a swift kick to the chest
For just a split second.
And then I hear it running away from behind me,
Fleeting footsteps echoing into the distance.
Still partially audible.
This thought,
This fear,
Flees like a mischievous child.
After shouting directly into my ear cavity:
What if you never found her?
The thought nearly stops me in my tracks.
I am the person I am because of her place in my life.
What if I never even met her?
I can barely imagine the idea of this bliss
Somehow not existing.
Maybe another me in some parallel universe
Is truly alone.
I feel sad for her,
That she will never know this
Swirling,
          Terrifying,
                  Mystifying,
                            Incredible feeling,
Something that everyone deserves to feel.
Free will spins a complicated spider web.
Every decision you make
Affects you and the others around you,
Either holding them up or pulling them down.
What if I'd made a different choice,
Just one minuscule detail.
What if I'd turned right instead of left,
Or used pencil instead of pen,
Or carried paper instead of plastic?
One wrong move could have led me off the path to you.
The thought makes me want to drop down to my knees
And thank God
That I decided to lift the branches and find this hidden walkway
Into an unknown territory
That so quickly became
Familiar.
Home.
LDR life.
xoK Apr 2014
I'm tired but my bed is empty.
Lying here is like
Lying in a hole in the ground,
Surrounded by earthworms
Mistaking me for a corpse.
I am at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Trapped in a large crater formed by the meteor
That crashed through my atmosphere
Leaving the Empty.
You took with you a piece of me which I do not ever expect to get back.
So I'm trying to live without.
When she left. LRD life.
xoK Apr 2014
It starts like an earthquake underneath my head.
        Three quick shakes,
              A pause,
                      Then three more.
        Air bursts from her pouted lips
And I run a comforting palm up and down her side.
       "Shhh," I whisper into the skin of her neck
                               So she knows
                               That I know
              That her tears speak for us both.
She started to cry with my head on her chest. LDR life.
  Apr 2014 xoK
eunsung aka Silas
when life seems to
          knock
                    me

                               d
                                    o
                         ­               w
                                              n
­                                                                 ­         
                                                       ­        You       me.
                                                                ­     carry
10w
xoK Apr 2014
The day after I had to let you go,
It was windier than I've ever seen before.
It was as if Mother Nature thought
If she blew hard enough,
Your windy city and mine might just collide
So that you and I could be one
Once again.
LDR life.
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