section 1: the part of me that is ready and angry
thicker, calloused skin, sharper teeth, a louder voice to yell at you when the day comes, although
i am not decided on whether to scream "WHY?" or "*******"
this part of me doesn't care about the judge or jury
i'm there to serve red hot rage on a silver platter
i'm burning with enough emotion to be proved an honest victim
why am i on trail?
force me into something to prove it's happened before, it's not fair and i'll punch and kick until everyone in the ******* courtroom regrets doing this to me
section 2: the part of me that's soft and terrified
i have been naked for months
everyone pretends not to notice, but i see the way they blush when i walk into a room
i hear them whispering, "if she didn't want this, why did she ever take off her clothes in the first place?"
i've said it before, and i'll say it again: i didn't have a choice
i'm transparent, therefore, afraid that the second our eyes meet you'll know that i feel like i've done YOU wrong
what a laugh, in the face of anyone else, but you
i'm afraid that when i open my mouth to tell the judge what you did to me, it will sound a lot like me asking you not to be angry for telling
for someone who was taken advantage of, getting "justice" feels
a lot like
how am i supposed to heal from this when i get a letter in the mail once a month saying i have to testify against him, only to learn they have postponed the date. this has been going on for a year and a half and i'm tired
i just need it to happen already, so i can see whichever side of me comes out and deal with the damage accordingly
i don't even care about his sentence or punishment at all, just end this for me please