soon enough,

you'll realize your mistake

but

there won't be any acceptance

because it's too late.

i no longer want your remorse

i could easily find it

at the dollar store

without a million other

****** knock-off food brands

which made me sick.

i don't need another stomach-ache

from a fake apology.

you're

a flower that just bloomed
so beautifully divine
and gracefully eloquent

the model of beauty and grace
and the paragon of righteousness

and i'm so lucky
to be raised by someone who knows
first hand about how unfair and unjust the world is
but still has positive hopes from everyone

happy mother's day, mother.

It's hard to think one idea changed my life.
An idea created by five people
changed my life

An idea that combined music and words
molded into one track
about four minutes long
made me feel comfort

A picture of four or five people
in an idiotic place
with an idiotic pose
made my heart race

The wording of one phrase made me want to tattoo it on myself
in the most craziest, oddest spot on my body
when I hate needles

Lyrics written by five men
made me feel comfortable.
At ease, confident, and happy
all at once

And once that idea ended, like all good things.
I felt empty and weird.
Because all those feelings were gone
or at least I assumed so.

But they're not, because things stay.
And I have all those feelings
stored in my mind
and my heart.

Because good ideas stay with you, even if you didn't create them.
And this idea, was a great one.

And even though, I never heard any of the noise and words
repeated, shout, and sung in person
I'm okay with that because it leaves hope.
And in a life with nothing to look forward to
you need hope.

And you know an idea is great
when it creates hope.

i can't remember a time
when you weren't on my mind

If I could, I'd run away.
Start a brand new life as a brand new person.
I'd create a fake identity, and start all over.
Get a job, a cat, and a fancy apartment
Live up in a skyscraper so I can be in the air everyday.
Cleanse my mind of all things from the former existence.
Meet new people, new friends.
Just have a whole new life.
Become a brand new person
And just start all over.
If I could.

This year, I plan to become a new me.
A happier me.
A more cheerful me.
A more pleasant me to be around.

Because old me was so last year.

i very much enjoyed

jogging around the grass

with you

All humans are born with a purpose

but what if i can''t find mine?

What would become of me, a human with no track?

Would I live out on the streets with the animals?

Would I become a successful doctor with the cure for cancer?

Would I become an actor, staring in the brand new bestselling book saga?

Would I just die, and live in the dirt with the worms?

Or would I stay here, writing a ******* poem about how much I ****?

Or maybe, just perhaps, I'd fade away and die.

Do you form your own opinions?
Are you your own person?

Or are you a robot?

Conditioned to believe the beliefs of your makers?

Do you always believe what you're told to believe?

Or are you your own person?
With your own opinions?

And I loved you, oh so much

I was unsure what to do

But you didn't love me back

That was the only thing I was sure of.

You're leaving
And I know it's for the best
But I can't help but remember
The smile on your face
The squint of your eyes
And the feeling of your hands

I can't help but think
What if-
What if-

But in the end,
The what ifs have no purpose
Because you're leaving
And I don't think I'm coming back, either.

Let's run away
to a small city
full of grass
trees
leaves
and silence

Let's build a house
with as many rooms as we want
in any size
shape
and color
after all, it's ours

Let's dig a yard
large and wide
as green as grass gets
and plant flowers
any kinds, even weeds!
whatever you fancy, we can do it

Let's be free
just you and i
me and you
us
alone and happy
free of schoolwork
and people who cause you stress
or the girl that asks you to move your desk

Let's live happily ever after
alone
just you and i
me and you
together

i'm back at home
and you welcome me with open arms

"welcome home, we missed you!"

a warm embrace leads to a tender kiss
a night in bed, very well missed

a one day stay, leads to a week long stay
eventually, i pack my things, it's time to go

you stand in the doorway, holding the **** firmly

"you're not going anywhere, you BELONG here."

you're right, i do belong here.
i can't argue that.

i unpack my things, get cozy in bed.
you lay next to me, place your arm on my chest

everything wells up, the feelings set in
the familiar settings, the normal mindset.

darkness welcomes it's self around me
it's my second home, i can't argue.

let's be real for a second,

you're nothing but a passing phase.

toes buried in the sand

smiles painted on faces

frame this memory

because you'll never see it again.

i take my time and build things up

like legos, i pile them up

piece

by

piece

but she doesn't.

she rushes each movement

piece
by
piece

she got to where i wanted to be before me

now i get to watch it all unfold

on top of the useless pile i made

Faces painted with colors that make girl's skin pop out.
Eyes large and done up with circles around them
Coverup hiding the blemishes that grew out of stress and fear
Legs shaved and exposed under the beautiful gowns

Smiles grow on their faces when they see their date; dashing in suits and winsome smiles.
Small flower pins added to their beautiful dresses

The night is ready.

Legs spin around and around as they twirl, smiles in motions and hearts race.
Sweat lingers down their faces as their laughs grow more.

The night is ablaze.
Everyone is smiling.

But only one question lingers,
*"May I have this dance?"

A stadium filled with thousands of bodies

all pressed together

knowingly aware

but not caring about the abundance of sweat coating their bodies, which isn't their's

or the amount of limbs pressed against them, which isn't their's.

A stadium filled with thousands of people

chanting

screaming

the words which fuel them

give them life

and a purpose to keep going .

A stadium filled with thousands of people

all wearing the same shirt

which represents their love

for simple humans

just like them

which give their life

purpose.

How

                                                     can

I

                                                         ­  make

      you

                                                ­              mine?

through the rear view mirror
i see your smiling face
bright and beautiful

through the rear view mirror
i watch as you keep a close eye on the cars ahead
do you not trust me? am i not a good driver?

through the rear view mirror
i watch as your eyes grow hazy
full of fear
am i driving too fast?
i'll show you, i'm a great driver.

through the rear view mirror
i watch as you jolt forward,
jumping, trying to rip the stirring wheel out of my hands.
no, i have this.
why can't you trust me?
-------------------------------------------------------------­----------
through the rear view mirror
i see your lifeless body
now laying down

through the rear view mirror
i mumbled a, 'sorry'
i'm not a very good driver.

And just like a flower,

your beauty will soon fade

and you will wither away

fate

led you to me

so you could patch me up

and make me whole

again