You're imperious, brusque, pugnacious and seemly ominous.
You're nothing but trouble.

I hate you.

You're just a drug wrapped into the shell of a human being without a care in the world
A pill killer wrapped into a shell that's secretly dejected.
A butterfly who's inside wing is morosely designed to hide everything inside.  

*I hate you

It's hard to think one idea changed my life.
An idea created by five people
changed my life

An idea that combined music and words
molded into one track
about four minutes long
made me feel comfort

A picture of four or five people
in an idiotic place
with an idiotic pose
made my heart race

The wording of one phrase made me want to tattoo it on myself
in the most craziest, oddest spot on my body
when I hate needles

Lyrics written by five men
made me feel comfortable.
At ease, confident, and happy
all at once

And once that idea ended, like all good things.
I felt empty and weird.
Because all those feelings were gone
or at least I assumed so.

But they're not, because things stay.
And I have all those feelings
stored in my mind
and my heart.

Because good ideas stay with you, even if you didn't create them.
And this idea, was a great one.

And even though, I never heard any of the noise and words
repeated, shout, and sung in person
I'm okay with that because it leaves hope.
And in a life with nothing to look forward to
you need hope.

And you know an idea is great
when it creates hope.

you're so beautiful,

but you're not meant for me.

i haven't regretted a word i said to you in that last month
not even how i'm happy you're leaving
or that i won't miss you
or that it's by far the best birthday gift you ever gave me
you and i both knew we meant every word

now that you're gone
you can say you miss me as much as you want
i'll only say it back to seem polite
but, i see through your legerdemain
you're not that smart

i don't care if you're homesick,

i'm sick of you.
i'm sick of your constant screaming
i'm sick of your face.
i'm sick of your whining
i'm sick of you being so self-centered
i'm sick of you making me hate myself even more
i'm sick of you belittling my every move

'what's that on your arm?'

so don't bother playing the sisterly love game
i'm not going to be player two.

it's a good thing you loved that sims game i couldn't play so much
it was a one player game.

soon enough,

you'll realize your mistake

but

there won't be any acceptance

because it's too late.

i no longer want your remorse

i could easily find it

at the dollar store

without a million other

****** knock-off food brands

which made me sick.

i don't need another stomach-ache

from a fake apology.

Daddy had just bought himself a nice white button down top and a pair of dress pants, which are black as night.
To top off his dashing outfit, he also got a nice black and gray stripped sweater.
For once in his life, looking a bit formal.

His youngest offspring chose a beautiful floral dress, with bright pick flowers on it. To top off her formal wear, she found a pair of moccasins. Which are to be worn with white socks.
Not completely formal, but it's formal enough for semi-formal.

However,
daddy was angry.
Who was he to have to dress up for his youngest?
Who was he to have to attend an event-
a ceremony-
which mommy had no intention of attending anyway?
Why was he the one that that to go and be at this event?
An event where it was finally signalizing that his youngest was almost done high school, a milestone in anyone's life...

And so, daddy allowed his emotions to be heard.
He made sure everyone heard them,
the people within ear shot,
the people next door,
and the people down the block.

And the totals of the event are in,

Four tokens to be wasted to get to this venue.
Twenty dollars wasted on tickets.
About maybe under a hundred dollars wasted on clothes.
And the little girl's sadness wasted on feelings.

Who was she to be sad over parents not wanting to watch her get her class ring?

a hot cup of coffee
late night snuggling
freshly cooked pasta
warm bread sticks
snowflakes falling onto your tongue
fresh breaths showing in the bitter air
footprints in snow
brand new hoodies
and the best thing,

*you

I'm caught in a trap
a spiderweb
in quicksand

I've find myself in a conundrum that i can't seem to escape
a quagmire
a vortex
an issue

And in the end,
regardless of what happens
I'll make the wrong decision

And I'll end up in an even larger pit of quick sand
an even worse vortex
which I won't be able to escape

dearly beloved,

we are gathered her today in this moment

where i tell you the honest truth,

STOP ******* CUTTING IN FRONT OF ME IN THE LINE FOR THE SINK

It's no shock I got sun-burned after you began to love me again,

your touch, like fire.
your words, like a burning sun glare
and your heart, hotter than the the heat.

It's no shock I got sun-burned today,
your love is painful to the touch, but i'll endure it all.

before you get to comfortable with where you're at,

remember it's all uncertain and in just an instant, you're right back

here.

and they'll be there, welcoming you right back in


before you get to comfortable with where you're at

remember,

it'll all fall back, right where it belongs

you'll never be free.

Standing still, staring intently.

You arm placed firmly, watching the screen as everything appeared, and disappeared. Oh so suddenly.

Focused, the most perfect way to describe you in that moment.

And yet somehow,  you manged to smile despite how fierce your stare became at the monitor.

Your hair was brushed, for once. Your clothes were baggy, typical.

Your head turned a bit to look over at me, standing across the room.

You smiled. You made a stupid face, that's how we communicate.

And that's when time froze.

And that's when I noticed everything I assumed was corrected.

For I had only thought, and guessed. But everything then became clear.

I'm in love with you.

i can only write with a heart full of love,

eyes full of water,

and a stomach full of butterflies.

through the rear view mirror
i see your smiling face
bright and beautiful

through the rear view mirror
i watch as you keep a close eye on the cars ahead
do you not trust me? am i not a good driver?

through the rear view mirror
i watch as your eyes grow hazy
full of fear
am i driving too fast?
i'll show you, i'm a great driver.

through the rear view mirror
i watch as you jolt forward,
jumping, trying to rip the stirring wheel out of my hands.
no, i have this.
why can't you trust me?
-------------------------------------------------------------­----------
through the rear view mirror
i see your lifeless body
now laying down

through the rear view mirror
i mumbled a, 'sorry'
i'm not a very good driver.

running through the woods

climbing up hills

splashing through the creek

walking through the weeds

picking up flowers

tossing trash aside

wandering down the street

devouring cake on cheap plates

today was full of adventure

and tomorrow will be new

i can't remember a time
when you weren't on my mind

Alex.
Such a common name, yet you are far from a 'common' person to me.
you're everything good one can possess crumbled into one beautiful exterior.

you are the very peak of mount everest
something so many people try to reach, but always fail because it's too hard
one day though, the strong person will reach the top
and you'll find your perfect match

you are strong, beautiful, warm-hearten, and so ******* cuddly
i'm honored to be in your presence
i love you
i really love you

i'm so happy to know  you, really

well yeah, i can't end this but
i love you