"uncertainly" poems
When I too long have looked upon your face,
Wherein for me a brightness unobscured
Save by the mists of brightness has its place,
And terrible beauty not to be endured,
I turn away reluctant from your light,
And stand irresolute, a mind undone,
A silly, dazzled thing deprived of sight
From having looked too long upon the sun.
Then is my daily life a narrow room
In which a little while, uncertainly,
Surrounded by impenetrable gloom,
Among familiar things grown strange to me
Making my way, I pause, and feel, and hark,
Till I become accustomed to the dark.
18.6k
Spanish
La luna es pálida y triste, la luna es exangüe y yerta.
La media luna figúraseme un suave perfil de muerta…
Yo que prefiero a la insigne palidez encarecida
De todas las perlas árabes, la rosa recién abierta,
En un rincón del terruño con el color de la vida,
Adoro esa luna pálida, adoro esa faz de muerta!
Y en el altar de las noches, como una flor encendida
Y ebria de extraños perfumes, mi alma la inciensa rendida.
Yo sé de labios marchitos en la blasfemia y el vino,
Que besan tras de la orgia sus huellas en el camino;
Locos que mueren besando su imagen en lagos yertos…
Porque ella es luz de inocencia, porque a esa luz misteriosa
Alumbran las cosas blancas, se ponen blancas las cosas,
Y hasta las almas más negras toman clarores inciertos!
English
The moon is pallid and sad, the moon is bloodless and cold.
I imagine the half-moon as a profile of the dead…
And beyond the reknowned and praised pallor
Of Arab pearls, I prefer the rose in recent bud.
In a corner of this land with the colors of earth,
I adore this pale moon, I adore this death mask!
And at the altar of the night, like a flower inflamed,
Inebriated by strange perfumes, my soul resigns.
I know of lips withered with blasphemy and wine;
After an **** they kiss her trace in the lane.
Insane ones who die kissing her image in lakes…
Because she is light of innocence, because white things
Illuminate her mysterious light, things taking on white,
And even the blackest souls become uncertainly bright.
3.4k
Opposing ideals
Shift forward uncertainly
Reflection shattered
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 3:03 AM UTC
die wind
straal
die angst
van my voorkop weg
die skerp sout lug
vul my met
die prag
wat voor my
verskyn
al die onsekerheid
verdwyn
soos sout wat
met water meng
the wind
caresses
my anxiety
away from my brow
the sharp salt air
fills me with
the beauty
that appears
before me
all the uncertainly
disappears
just like salt
that mixes with water
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 5:46 PM UTC
lodged in my attention span like
a noisy commercial, I was sold affection
with no guarantee of love
lying in my bed as if you didn't fit it
the sheets seemed to hover uncertainly
over your bullet body and baby bird kisses
unbalanced by uneven understanding
we straggle along a wet sandy slope
in the distance nothing gets closer
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 4:06 PM UTC
We're on a bomb site
behind the tabernacle
looking for some
ammunition for
my catapult
which I carry
in the back pocket
of my jeans
Fay is looking
amongst the debris
of old bombed
out houses
or just area
left where
houses stood
it's a sunny day
holiday time
no school
-makes me happier-
is this one too big?
she asks
I look over
no that's a good one
I say
she brings it over
to where I stand
she holds it
between her
thin finger and thumb
and she drops it
into my palm
I weigh it up
and down then
drop it into
my pouch
-a knotted handkerchief-
she looks at me
her blue eyes
searching me
her fair hair
brought behind
her head in
a ponytail
have you ever
thought about self?
I look at her
self?
I say
what do you mean?
the I of us
what we call me
I look nonplus
and look down
for more small stones
a nun at school
said the I
in Christianity means
the I crossed out
in the form
of a cross
in other words
our self is not
more important
than that I or self
of another
and as a Christian
we should put
the self
of another first
I find a small stone
and pick it up
and finger it
so the cross is
supposed to show
self crossed out?
I say uncertainly
she looks at the stone
I'm holding
yes that's what
she was saying
self denial I think
is what she meant
Fay says
scratching her head
this nun at school
does she ever
tell jokes?
Fay frowns
no not as far
as I've heard
well I could
tell you one
O'Brien told me
but it's not for girls
to hear
not girls
as good as you
I say
Daddy says jokes
are sinful to say
and to hear Fay says
when I innocently
told him one
the other year
a girl at school told me
he spanked me
and said never
to hear or say jokes
ever again
what was the joke?
I ask
shouldn't say
she says
there's only you
and me here
no one will know
if you tell me
except God
and I guess He's
heard it before
I say
she looks at me
her blue eyes
staring
ok but don't
tell Daddy
I told you
she says
I promise not to tell
your old man
I say
well a man took his wife
to the cinema
and as they waited
in the queue
a man in front of them
passed wind
and the husband
said to the man
how dare you
pass wind
in front of my wife
and the man said
sorry I didn't know
it was her turn
I laugh and so does she
and I like how
her eyes sparkle
when she laughs
and her face lights up
like a summer day
then she's looks
at her hands
that was good
I say
but it's sinful
she says
but the brightness
in her face and eyes
didn't go away.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 3:01 AM UTC
look up, look up
pretty bride
look how the seats are arranged
just like your marriage
promising a plethora
with three knots of the saffron string
look down, look down
blushing bride
look how your hands are laden
with orange mehndhi
matching your silk orange sari
with your sparkling diamond and gold jewels
blinding the third eye on your forehead
that blinks uncertainly
look around, look around
naïve bride
look how the sun rushes through the hall
waking up sleeping jasmines on your hair
fading away the wretched past
ending your stormy dormancy
look right, look right
****** bride
look how your husband-to-be is next to you
cupping his hands in yours
receiving the priests' blessed blessings
and sharing the confetti of thrown rice
and you close your eyes
tired bride
praying to live
happily ever after
Shalini Nayar
© 2001
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 9:44 AM UTC
…i have learned my lesson / One should not give the impression / of being too happy / as you don’t do
happy / you and angry / are comfortable / misery / your longtime friend / but with happy / you are
unacquainted / and / too much joviality / for too long a period / puts the proverbial underpants in a bunch /
too much free-range fondling / and unnecessary emotion / is a commotion / that puts the Neanderthal in
you / into uncharted territory / off the clear and obvious path / with a virtual stick / banging the bushes of
my spirit / waiting to see what emerges / and surprisingly / you are surprised / that what emerges is /
seldom what you expect / but what do you expect? / That i will continually ride this / histrionic
rollercoaster? / apprehensively peaking hills? / uncertainly braving valleys? / stop the maniacal ups and
downs i think i want to get off / on you / and with you / but that just wont do / cuz you / fail to realize /
that I am / percolating and oozing / straight inundated with / sweetness / and to get the full overflow / of
said sweetness / is a privilege… / and not a right… / therefore / to the benefit of no one / and as a
consequence of your / vacillation and inconstancy / i have made the determination / to Cap this most
fundamental Well / sadly / i have learned my lesson…
Jan 29, 2012
Jan 29, 2012 at 7:21 AM UTC
A person you see and hear
Personality exceeding fear
Who is this person you see?
I'm sorry to say it isn't me
To see me is to see obscurity
A steadfast mind full of purity
No interest in the future or present
I could be rich or I could be a peasant
What I want from life i cannot buy
I could be normal but I'd rather not try
You say you know the real me
But your words come out uncertainly
Jul 8, 2012
Jul 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM UTC
I sat upon the window sill
and thought - for thoughts are never still -
that if all the world my oyster was,
then all the world my choices stung
and if all the world a stage may be,
my part is such a site to see
a monologue, soliloquy
the question - to be, or not to be?
a poem in pentameter
but such exact parameters
find talent lacking quite a bit
to coin a phrase: "well, ******* ****
the critics all prefer your prose,
but you can't quite see over your nose
reduced to quaint obscenities
and use them so uncertainly
but on the past, i must digress
and to my original thought regress
for window sills demand your calm
So I must cease, or I'll be gone.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 8:09 PM UTC
clean your teeth
with a pink washcloth
your tongue
with saline water
hands behind my back
gently (or roughly) held
together
pacing back and forth
or sitting on my
uncertainly made
deliberate choices
I wonder if you like
the smell of clementine
on my fingers
stained orange from the
pungent peel
I would stain
my whole body with color
if I could
as if that would
freeze this superficial
line of seconds
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 9:54 PM UTC
Things we used to be
Or rather that which we are still
We as in I
I as in you
You as in me
Just a pair of eyes
Disembodied, disinherited
Then a word or two
Spoken uncertainly, with imperfect diction
Next came a body coated matte
Appearance totally flat
A reprisal of the reeling mind
Discontented, self remarked
Struck like fells of flak shells
Wrack
Emotive motion to inhale pain pill smoke
Foiled
Spoiled through imparts of ignorance
Palette saturated, severance pre-packed
Wheeze ever
A bio beat box, palpitate off tempo
Disharmony collate
Chaos culture, we the cancer self-castrating earth
Bastardized with sickly sounding mirth
Loudest, proudest, irreverent
Disclaimers
Naked
Reclamation
The origin known as nature
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 7:57 PM UTC
Helen and you
walked home from school
the long way
you wanted to show her
the man
in the pie and mash shop
cutting up eels
for jellied eels
or for the pies
how he would stand there
with his knife
and take up an eel
and holding it
firmly on a board
would cut off its head
and then proceed
to slice it up
into small pieces
and into a bucket
on the floor
and when you showed her
standing outside the shop
peering through
the window
she said
O my God
and put a hand
to her mouth
and spoke
through her hand
and added
poor eels
to end up
in someone's stomach
and the way
he cuts them up
and the pieces
still moving afterwards
and she moved away
and walked up the road
still holding a hand
over her mouth
you don't fancy
pie and mash then?
you said
not with eels in it no
she replied
through her fingers
you smiled
not funny
she said
poor little eel creatures
yes I guess it is
a bit brutal
you said
but fascinating
to watch
I don't think so
she said
taking her hand
from her mouth
you both went under
the subway of the junction
she slightly
in front of you
her two plaits of hair
bouncing
as she walked
her green raincoat
tied tight about her
you whistled
so that it echoed
along the subway
bouncing off the walls
all along
the artificial lights
giving off
a surreal sensation
how can people eat eels?
she asked
just the sight
puts me off
don't know
guess they don't think
of it being eels as such
just as something to eat
you said
you both came out
of the subway
on the other side
and walked along
the New Kent Road
by the cinema
she looking
at the billboards
through her thick lens glasses
are you sure your mum
doesn't mind
having me for tea?
she said
well we're not actually
having you for tea
we usually have
beans on toast
or jam sandwiches
she slapped your hand
you know what I mean
she said smiling
no Mum don't mind
you said
she invited you after all
I pleaded against it
but she wouldn't listen
you said smiling
Helen's face frowned
and she stood still
really?
she said
no I'm joking
you said
and she nodded her head
uncertainly
looking at you
through her glasses
I'm just kidding
you said
you touched her hand
she smiled
and you both walked on
and across the bomb site
the uneven ground
the puddles of rainwater
you your mother's son
and Helen
a lucky woman's
daughter.
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013 at 2:27 AM UTC
Silent tears stream down my face,
As I look across the room.
You're smiling at her,
She's smiling at you.
I've been forgotten so soon.
And I only have one question...
What happened?
When was I dismissed?
We used to be so happy.
We used to live carefree.
Everyday together,
Laughing, smiling, joking,
Our hearts together were at ease.
Was it that easy to forget me?
Her I want to hate,
She's ruined my whole life.
You're all I've ever wanted,
You make my life complete.
I don't know where she came from,
But she swept you off your feet.
To me you've become blind,
She's made you push me to the side.
It hurts more than a sudden death,
Because we were so close.
The slow torture that you're causing me,
You're choking at my throat.
I've cried more because of you,
Than anyone before.
So many times I've run to my room,
And collapsed inside my door.
Impressions of my tears,
stained forever in my face.
My heart is in distress,
My breath a rapid pace.
I can't listen about her,
A single second more!
Why can't I be the one,
Your heart desires for?
You've stuck me in the friend-zone,
Because you care to much...
That statement has confused me so,
It makes me think uncertainly,
You care for me to much,
You'd rather hurt her than me.
Shouldn't that open up your stupid eyes,
To never let me go?
And now every time I see her,
I want to be enraged.
To claw her big brown eyes out,
Before you get engaged.
But then I look at you and see,
The smile that she brings.
It kills me more and more,
To see her in your life.
You don't think I understand,
Or don't see how much I care.
That I know you all too well.
One day she's gonna brake your heart,
And when you come to me,
I don't know if I'll be able to pick up the pieces,
And help you to your feet.
I doubt I'll still be around,
I can't take this agony much longer.
To see her take my place,
Reminds me what I could have had.
Today I saw a picture of you,
Her wrapped in your arms.
In that warm loving hug I've felt,
The one I know is yours.
The hug that saved my life,
The hug that told me I'm special,
And just how much you cared.
But you broke my heart today,
I'm shattered and destroyed.
For when I looked at your smiles,
I think I may have died.
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 5:15 PM UTC
A shadow of what I used to be
I live my life uncertainly
Alone in dense depression
Weight of loss in my possession
What was told to be mine forever
Gone faster than wind and a feather
Through my times of trouble
Memories surround me, in a bubble
My skin warms feeling your touch
Smiling as if I saw you blush
Your faint voice filled with love
Like a message from above
Breaking down, weak like a pawn
As soon as it came the feelings gone
Life lost in the flow of time
Theft of love, a horrid crime
My well being muddied and brown
Thoughts of you, bringing me down
Jul 8, 2012
Jul 8, 2012 at 12:27 AM UTC
discussing with friends they,re eclectic noggins bobble suddenly
slowly quick the wagging of tongues juxtaposed to startled teeth
in rhythmic ques they pour daft prophecies in hideous giggling
we talk and amble amiably on every topic odoring and tepid shifting
slickly
it's easy and the sun frails and we joust winking verbs and nouns and and
or we entertain electric chaos screens bulging distended growls of death
or cinema or. outside it's raining, beautificly a synonym for damp patterring
of a 1,ousand tiny feet and plopping uncertainly violent puddles staggering
and the iron weight bears heavy on the hills dimpling the hips of earth
or we are static for a few and hours we make goodbyes and promises
of recurrence we,ll never keeps the night our tired bodies as we make
to the cold metal leather bucket seats and outside it's muttering rainfully beauty...
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010 at 11:11 AM UTC
Welcome to the party
welcome to the show
this is for the tired beauties
promenading the watering hole
searching for another
stand in for the night
back in the darkest corners
where they lose their fight
And when the sun goes down
the feelings start to stir
another chance to redeem yourself
have you really found your cure
loneliness and desperation led you to this place
stuck in a world
where deceit is common place
Take a look in the mirror
tell me what do you see
are you proud of what looks back now
who you want it to be
wasted days and nights go by
soon turn to years
hopeful dreams and pleasantries
vanish into tears
Standing at the crossroads
of life uncertainly
past choices and decisions
stare back impassively
nothing comes easy in this life it seems
is all what appears to be
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 3:28 PM UTC
"You don't know how lucky you have it,”
I say as I brake for the bird
who is hopping uncertainly
in the middle of the intersection,
torn between flight
and flirting with death
one second longer.
Today it will live.
I press my foot down on the gas pedal.
One day our sun will stop burning-
our universe will freeze, contract, and be reborn;
empires will fall and rise,
but will never see you skin your knees
or fight with your mother;
the wind will never carry away the chalk dust
from your grinning face.
Life persists but bears its scars;
and I see them
in the way we wish on the light of stars
that have been dead for thousands of years;
and I feel them
in the way that fingers trace the stretch marks
that have not yet faded from your mothers stomach.
A still small lump lies in the middle of the barren road,
and I swerve to avoid it
even though the squirrels guts
have already been painted across the gravel
and the baby’s ashes
have already been returned to the cold earth.
The world doesn't stop turning
for either;
but I weep
for both.
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 5:12 PM UTC
Betrayed, O to be betrayed,
A once betrothed and now misbehaved.
Misdeemed and misdeeds creeping upon me,
Fighting for friends now uncertainly,
Walking own a bent path,
Finding less and less are on task,
More would rather hang out back,
And what's a man to do in a world like that?
What started as a fellowship,
Now ends in dismemberment,
And the lonely feeling sinks in,
And the friends become foes, at the turn of a pen.
Setting my up for failure,
Jealous, or unsure,
I wish I cared anymore,
But that time has long since gone ashore...
And so as I look into the sea,
Something as dark, desolate, and as desperate as me.
I add a few more salty tears to its salty depths,
In hopes that this feeling of apathy will be ceased.
But I think a part of me knows,
Long before any more blows,
That this is the Real World,
And there is little time now for woe.
Mar 31, 2010
Mar 31, 2010 at 3:10 AM UTC
Pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth
Carefully placing a stamp where you feed
Lick the sweet glue
Smiling stretches the sentiment
Your uneven knobs of ivory lightly bump mine
Piano love
Uncertainly swiping another stamp
Applying less precisely this time
A cotton candy tongue seeps out
The sweet glue seals again
Adding heat, adding pressure.
Too much more and my lips turn to diamonds
You open your eyes to find two sticky-stamp diamonds, ivory lined.
Sweet and hot.
Jul 26, 2012
Jul 26, 2012 at 12:52 AM UTC
how I fall in love:
unexpectedly and uncertainly
usually under the guide of wine or whiskey, depending on my mood
drowning in a blur of voices and bursts of bright lights
an aura surrounds you; something jumps out at me
tattoos, or a woollen hat
a remark is made,
obvious or otherwise,
about your person
I can’t really see you clearly but I can tell who you are
your eyes are bright
rimmed with red, just like the amber Jameson you’ve downed
but they shine
you shine
I fall backwards into the ocean that are your eyes
I am smiling
when you hold me, I m e l t,
blend into you
I feel stable and erratic all at once
afraid to disappear completely into you
but wanting so much to
your arms are warm, humble and all-encompassing
you hold me
my tongue finds your both inside your mouth and out
it freely expresses how much I need
for once, we are speaking the same language
of patience and comfort and ease
and although I feel free and easy
inside, I race
my heart and thoughts
am I in love with you because you are in love with me?
afraid to
wait,
to give in to your attention to detail to the shape of my body moulded against yours
to the unease and confusion that plagues my mind
to the baggage I am carrying on all my limbs as I am lifted into your arms
to me and what I want
I can’t give you everything just yet
there’s a lock on what I will save until the perfect moment:
when we are laying in bed
yours or mind, no difference
and that secret or feeling or thought is pulsating, vibrating, screaming to be said
and because you are warm
and bright
and a knight of valour
I will say it
all of it
and I will fall backwards into the ocean that are your eyes
and allow myself to be saved from drowning by you.
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
Would you remain in dreams
Instead of facing reality
Where the world can't touch you
The warmth of the pretence
Of how it might be
Rather than what you go through
No one can drag you away
Back down into your despair
Of the darkness of your mind
Because you can ignore it all
The growing pangs of uncertainly
Of everything you must find
So reach up to the sky
Don't throw it all away
All we can ever do is try
To live it day to day
Copyright Chris Smith
www.apolloblessed.ning.com
Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012 at 3:49 PM UTC
the NOW has a taste.
the strings pull with the happenings,
you can feel the conversation and the movements.
My blood pumps and you wink your beautiful wink.
I know you love me but some people, the wicked.
A few would like to see me hang at noon, swinging lifeless with dust on my shoes.
You love me, I will hold to that. My life raft in a sea of uncertainly
Saving me while all else is in question.
Thank you my love for saving me, my soul and my life.
Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 9:36 AM UTC
I see this town from a far
sitting in the quiet car
the raindrops dripping on the window
Its been twenty weeks
Twenty weeks of procrastination, meeting new people,
and trying to forget what I used to be
I forgot why I saw on that see saw.
I pull up to a vacant house
the house that I once called a home
yet the monsters have scared my family away
I uncertainly opened the door
as I ponder about the idea that I may have went to the wrong house
“I swear I opened out my christmas presents here”
“I swear that these were the stairs that I trekked every school day”
The thunder the constant reminder that I am not dreaming
and this is my house
I start to switch up the lights to see the damage that the monsters have caused
I see my mother was ripped off of these flaky walls
and the wind blew her away
yet you can still see of her love hiding in the light
I see my brother and sister as been torn by this monster
there is a brick wall that separates them apart
you see they are divided
yet their souls are poking through the cracks trying see them again
I found my mom today
she is filling my gears up with her gossip
she tells me stories of the monsters eating people up
When I went to the grocery store to get food on tuesday
I saw one of my friends checking out
he told me he dropped out because
the college life was not for me
but all i see is that change scares him shitless
because if he changes then he has to deal with this town
this god **** town
He says he wants to go to France but he can't find the time
but all I hear are his comfort zone shrinking away to a pebble on the ground
When I was walking home I saw that one girl
whatshername
That one girl who kicked my shins and give me that letter
where did that letter go, I never got the chance to open it
She was that one girl I say picking petals of of that sunflower
but She looks different
the town tore her apart
she live in the past as I keep climbing into the future.
Now I climb into this car
to go back to my new home
yet I will never Photoshop the scares off of my past with this town
I live in this town
this town that has become a monster
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 9:40 PM UTC